PICTURE THIS: You just watched somebody give a speech.

Or present an idea. Or share a story. Or tell a joke. Or voice their opinion.

And it was so good, so interesting, so engaging and so entertaining, that your immediate response was to whisper to the guy sitting next to you, “Man, I’d hate to have to follow THAT…”

Have you ever wondered HOW people do that?
How they command the energy of the room with grace and gusto?

Me too. Today we’re going to talk about how to be a hard act to follow:

1. Be a consummate provocateur. Your job isn’t to educate or entertain people – it’s to disturb them. The word “emotion” derives from the Latin emotere, which means, “to disturb.” So, it’s not bad, it’s not good – it’s just a disturbance. A breaking of patterns. A shaking up of things. Making your words piercing and disquieting.

So much so that people squirm in their seats. Sure, it might be uncomfortable for a minute, but that’s part of the adventure. The reality is, some people NEED to have a little disturbance “breathed into them.” Focus on evoking emotion instead of creating sensation, and you will win. How provocative are your words?

2. Don’t “use humor” – just be funny. It’s not a tool or a thing or a trick or a technique or shtick. It’s a way and a style. You don’t use humor like you use hair gel. Humor is something you embody. You don’t “do” humor – you ARE humor.

That’s why people laugh. Your inherent funniness activates, animates and aggregates the humorous part of their being. And if you don’t think you’re funny, you’re wrong. Everybody is funny. Don’t fall victim to that trap of laziness. You don’t need ventriloquize other people’s humor and pawn it off as your own original material.

As I learned in the book Throwing the Elephant, “You don’t have to be particularly funny. The attempt to provide amusement is more important that the quality or validity of the amusement itself.” Are you trying to use humor or allowing your natural funniness to shine?

3. Don’t let them catch you acting. Oscar-winning actor Michael Cane once said: “The art is hiding the art.” Therefore: It’s not about manipulating people. Or fooling them. Or hiding something. Or misrepresenting the facts. It’s about discovering your voice. Your thing. Your sound. Your domain. Your territory. Your signature style. Your unique delivery of creative material.

And if you want to be a hard act to follow, your goal is to speak in a manner that’s so natural, so conversational and so unique to you that people don’t even know you’re doing it. You might try a few of the exercises in this module called How to Brand Your Language. Remember: It’s method acting, and the character you’re playing is yourself. When will the Academy award your performance?

4. Don’t prove yourself; express yourself. Proving is striving for approval; expressing is allowing for refusal. Proving is proclaiming your superiority; expressing is embodying your fabulousness. Proving is demanding your rights; expressing is deploying your gifts.

Proving is talking smack; expressing is doing acts. Proving is playing to the crowd; expressing playing for the sake of playing. Ultimately, the big difference between the two is that proving is DOING and expressing is BEING. Period. Which one do you practice?

5. Give your audience something useful. Not recycled wisdom. Not a steady stream of self-glorifying garbage. And not a collection of quotations and words of wisdom from old dead white guys. Speak with MCI, or, Meaningful Concrete Immediacy. First, speak to self-interest. Ask yourself: Whom this audience needs to look good for? Ask yourself: What are these people’s success seeds? Ask yourself: What is the key to these people’s hearts?

Second, be concise. Get to the point quicker. Learn to speak in soundbites. Human attention span resets after six seconds. And finally, and be actionable. Show people HOW. Deliver ideas that can be put to use the minute you’re finished talking. Are you all keepers and no fluff?

6. Fire goes a long way. Most people spend all their time, money and effort memorizing the message when they should be mastering the medium. Look. I don’t care if you’re discussing colon hydrotherapy best practices. If you speak with enthusiasm, passion, articulation, wisdom – in other words, FIRE – and people will listen. Guaranteed.

They’ll be so engaged that they’ll forget they’re even listening to you. All because you gave your audience permission to be taken over by your performance. Remember: The medium IS the message. How well do you embody energetic availability?

7. Help people get lost. July 19, 2009. Phoenix. It was a keynote speech that changed my life. Scott Halford, author of Be a Shortcut, told an audience of 1,300 professional speakers, “I don’t use GPS because I can’t imagine living in a world where you can’t get lost.”

Lesson learned: Don’t be afraid to send people on mental journeys. Drop some fertilizer on the audience and let them challenge and inspire themselves. They’ll get lost in the best way possible. They’ll trudge down the trail for themselves. And when they come back, caked in sweat and dirt, they’ll be glad they don’t have to follow your act. Are you willing to rip up the map?

8. Hit the ground running. Whether you’re telling a story, giving a speech or conducting a meeting, be mindful of the VERY FIRST sentence out of your mouth.. Take George Carlin, for example. He became well known for delivering opening lines that received standing ovations. My personal favorite was, “I’d like to begin tonight by saying, ‘Screw Lance Armstrong!’ Aren’t you tired of being told who your heroes are?”

Lesson learned: Don’t waste people’s time. Leave out the parts people skip. Just go. Are your first words unexpected and interesting enough to make people look up from their Crackberries?

REMEMBER: It’s hard to be a hard act to follow.

I challenge you to plug yourself, your meetings, your stories, your pitches and your presentations into these eight equations.

In conclusion, I’m reminded of the wise words of the great philosopher, Mitch Hedberg, who once said, “I’m a hard act to follow because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me.”

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Are you unfollowable?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

You can also watch the original version on KMOV’s website!

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What makes you an approachable leader?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

People often ask me about my writing process.

So, instead of trying to explain it, I thought I’d just show it.

This is the second in a series of writing sessions (4-hour time lapse down to 9 minutes!) of my unparalleled content generation, content management and content deployment systems.

Episode 2 — 1.18.10
Soundtrack — “Vampires” by Thievery Corporation from “Radio Retaliation.”

Watch other episodes on the playlist @ www.WatchScottWrite.com!

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What did you write today?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

New website go live this week?

Tune in to The Entrepreneur Channel on NametagTV.com!

Watch video lessons on spreading the word!

Watch the original interview on KSDK-5!

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What makes you an approachable leader?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “7 Ways to Radically Raise Receptivity of Those You Serve,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

1. Actions are antidotes. Mainly, to the fears you think are real. Which aren’t. Because they’re fears. And fears are only as real as your fear of them. Like the schoolyard bully whose sole source of power is your fear of him, most fears melt into a puddle of goo when you stand up to them.

That’s the action part. And it’s contrary to FDR’s philosophy that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I disagree. I think the only thing we have to fear is the fear OF fear itself. Nothing a few courageous steps of action can’t fix. If this action drains your energy and ability to change, what would cause the opposite?

2. Bodies are barometers. They speak the language of Truth. They tell you what your mouth is afraid to say, what your ears don’t want to hear and what your brain is too chickenshit to admit. Your mission is to listen louder. Much louder. And to treat everything you hear as legitimate, quantitative data.

Look: This isn’t like flying coach when you stick your ear buds in and tune out the safety demonstration you’ve heard a thousand times. This is your health. And your business will thank you for prioritizing it over everything else. What is your body saying about your pace?

3. Boundaries are saviors. If you don’t set boundaries for yourself, other people will set them for you. And then they will violate them. And then they will tell all their little friends that it’s OK to violate them. All because you failed to set a precedent of value by putting a stake in the ground.

Your challenge: This week, don’t let yourself back down from another boundary defining moment. Give yourself permission to say no to the good so you can make space for the best. What would it cost you NOT to stick up for your boundaries here?

4. Brands are accelerators. On the customer side, they accelerate the decision making process and the sales cycle. On your side, they accelerate profitability and company growth. But here’s what’s scary: For too long, too many businesspeople have barely skated by with ZERO branding.

And while it may have worked for a few decades, eventually, brandless businesses become broke businesses. You can’t afford not to have one anymore. Be branded or be stranded. How much longer can you go without having an identity?

5. Clients are teachers. Let them participate in your brand. They will teach you how to sell to them. They will teach you how to serve them better. They will teach you what products to release next. They will teach you where to take your business. They will teach you what you’re doing wrong.

All you have to do – and this are the two steps most companies miss – is ask them, then listen. Loudly. What kind of feedback loops are you generating so your customers and employees can have a genuine conversation?

6. Interruptions are derailments. An article in The New York Times recently reported that the average employee is interrupted every eleven minutes. If you do the math, that’s forty-three interruptions over the course of an eight hour day.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

No wonder productivity is in the toilet. Thank God I’m self-employed. What I’d be interested to know is how many of those interruptions were self-inflicted, and how many were legitimate time stoppers. Because you always have a choice. Remember: The best way to block a punch is to not be there. Is what you’re doing RIGHT NOW consistent with your #1 goal?

7. Maybes are lies. If you don’t say, “I will,” you won’t. If you don’t say, “I choose to,” you aren’t. That’s how powerful language is. My suggestion is to write the word “maybe” on a pad of sticky notes. Then draw a big fat “X” through each one. Then post them all around your office.

Soon enough, that word will be permanently deleted from your vocabulary. And that’s when your pattern of execution will begin to manifest. Your welcome. What are the components of your success vocabulary?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What (not so) harsh reality are you avoiding?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

1. Put your money where your foot is. Mouths don’t do anything but eat and talk. And occasionally drool. Feet, on the other hand, are profit centers. No wonder so many successful entrepreneurs have corns and calluses: It’s all about mileage.

It’s all about asking the question, “What’s the next action?” Remember: Your feet are your balance sheet’s best friend. Better engage your pedometer. Profitability comes from steppability. What massive action did you take today?

2. Honesty shouldn’t HAVE to be a policy. If you have to remind your people to tell the truth, you need new people. On the other hand, if your leaders cleave to truth and practice radical, rigorous honesty, your people will follow suit.

Truthfulness speaks volumes, begets trustworthiness and accelerates followership. Policies are for amateurs. Have you introduced a steady stream of truth serum into your leadership diet?

3. A man is known by the company he keeps AWAY from. Show me who you refuse to hang with, and I’ll show you who you are. That’s perhaps more indicative of your character. On a deeper level, also think about the people you refuse to listen to. Same thing.

It’s all about whom you let participate in your life. Because it’s too damn short to surround yourself with people who don’t challenge and inspire you. How much time are you spending with people who haven’t learned how to value you yet?

4. If you can’t think of anything nice to say, you’re not very creative. Everybody hates somebody. Personally, I could name ten people – right now – that I would just LOVE to watch take a bath in hydrochloric acid. But as much as dislike them, I could still say something good about every one o them. It’s all about making the choice to attend differently to people.

You have to ask yourself questions like: How could this person positively affect me? What makes this person special? What is the hidden treasure inside this person that maybe others don’t see? What character qualities do I admire in this person? What potential, ability and wisdom do I see in this person? What has this person accomplished that needs to be celebrated? Remember: There’s always something nice to say. What do you see when you see people?

5. It is what it is. Wrong. It ISN’T what it is. “It” is what you’ve chosen it to be. “It” is what you’ve given yourself permission to accept. “It” is what you’ve allowed to exist into your life. “It” is what you’ve assumed you’re stuck with.

Screw “it.” I loathe the word “it.” The word “it” is a personal responsibility dodger. It you don’t like “it,” change “it.” Is it (really) what it is?

6. Shtick gets your foot in the door, but only substance keeps you in the room. Shtick is necessary, but it’s not enough to sustain you. Customers demand substance. Meat. Value. Sustainability. They want a sweet candy shell AND gooey, delicious Tootsie center.

Sadly, too many entrepreneurs are all shtick and no substance. Like Dum-Dum pops: All sugar, no payoff. The secret is being remarkable (and) relevant, worthwhile, marketable and brand-consistent. Otherwise the milk from your Purple Cow will taste sour. What substance will keep you in the room?

7. Only the WRONG survive. Be incorrect more. Encourage aggressive mistakes. Go screw something up – then go learn from it. After all: The wronger you are, the stronger you become. But only if your wrongness of action is punctuated with rightness of reflection.

Remember: Mistakes are springboards. Mistakes build instincts. Mistakes precede truth. Mistakes reframe creativity. Mistakes reveal individuality. What do you have to learn from this mistake to make it no longer a mistake?

8. Opposites attract, but that doesn’t mean they endure. Especially if there’s no commonality of constitution. No foundational harmony. No overlapping value systems. Because as much as we’d like to think life is like a Beatles song, love isn’t enough.

Love isn’t all you need. Not if you seek sustainability, that is. What are your 2010 relationship goals?

9. The best way to bring home the bacon is to raise your own pigs. That way, you’re the only shot caller. No permission. No committees. No compliance. No decision-making hierarchy. Just you. Wow. Can you imagine how much time, money, effort, energy and stress you could conserve by in-housing your next project?

Ask yourself: What if you bought your own equipment and made it yourself? What if you built everything proprietary and created your OWN studio? What if you never had to hire anyone ever again because you learned how to do it yourself? Just a thought.

After all: Having done it yourself makes you a more educated entrepreneur. Plus execution occurs faster. Maybe being a pig farmer isn’t as bad as it sounds. Maybe Thoreau was right when he said, “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” How much (more) money could you be earning working solo?

10. Your ship never comes in – only your dock gets bigger. Stop waiting for things to happen to you and start happening to things. Practice purposeful impatience and start taking action toward what you desire. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t wait for perfection. And certainly don’t wait until you know what the hell you’re doing.

Just go. It’s only a matter of time before the captain says, “Welcome aboard!” Of course, none of this happens without an eagerly desirous, raring-to-go, restless expectation and dislike of anything that causes delay. That’s the construct of an impatient person.

Remember: Triple your impatience = Triple your proactivity = Triple your profits. What one step could you take now to start moving forward to your ideal future?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What epiphany will you have this week?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Video not working? Click here for Adobe Flash 9!

Watch the original video on NametagTV!

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you putting customers at ease?

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For a list called, “26 Ways to Out Brand the Competition” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

The world’s FIRST two-in-one, flip-flop book!

Buy Scott’s comprehensive marketing guidebook on Amazon.com and learn how to GET noticed, GET remembered and GET business!

People frequently ask me how I manage to be so productive.

My answer is very logical and simple:

1. No meetings.
2. No employees.
3. No interns.
4. No busywork.
5. No filing.
6. No copying.
7. No excuses.
8. No bullshit.
9. No asking permission.
10. No begging for forgiveness.
11. No memos.
12. No kids.
13. No television.
14. No mass media.
15. No coworkers.
16. No distractions.
17. No decision-making hierarchy.
18. No committees.
19. No compliance.
20. No paperwork.
21. No socializing.
22. No compromise.
23. No doing activities that aren’t focused on my #1 goals.
24. No doing activities that don’t leverage my gifts.
25. No doing activities that aren’t income generating.
26. No office politics.
27. No office.
28. No clothes.
29. No shoes.
30. No commute.
31. No interruptions.
32. No paperwork.
33. No putting out fires.
34. No managing people.

After deleting all of that noise, what are you left with?

Work. That matters.

If that were YOUR work environment, you’d be pretty productive too.

Now, I’m not trying to use my situation as a reason. Or use your situation as an excuse.

But we are exactly where we are because we choose to be there.

JUST REMEMBER: Productivity isn’t about what you do – it’s about what you avoid.

I think Mr. Miyagi said it best:

“The best way to block a punch is to not be there.”

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What consumes your time but isn’t making any money?

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For the ebook called, “66 Questions to Prevent Your Time from Managing YOU,” send an email to me, and you win the ebook for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

There’s nothing more annoying than someone who has all the answers.

Especially in a group setting.

I met a guy like this last year. Spent the whole day with him. Dude drove me up the wall.

In fact, based on the body language of the other eleven group members, I think he drove them up the wall too.

Hell, we should’ve just had the meeting on the wall.

Anyway.

Instead of getting upset about this guy, I asked my standard question, “How can I channel my frustration towards this person into an actionable piece of writing that makes me money AND helps other people sidestep douchebaggery and make their lives better?”

What can I say? I’m a writer. Piss me off and I’ll get you back on the page where you can’t defend yourself.

Here we go. Names have been changed to protect the incompetent:

1. Be right less. Just stop. Seriously. Have some self-control. Even if you KNOW you’re right. Stop. Let someone else be right for a while. Not being right all the time doesn’t mean you’re wrong – it just means you practice restraint. Turn it into a game. See how long you can hold it in. Start with five minutes. I bet you can do it.

And I bet you’ll discover that the comment you intended to share was actually incorrect, irrelevant or non-contributory. Remember: Don’t break the silence unless you plan to improve it. Do you have an arrogance of being right that clouds your priorities?

2. Practice a 5:1 question/answer ratio. Talk as much as you want. But for every comment, statement or observation you make, ask five questions. This holds you accountable to an exploratory attitude of curiosity and vulnerability. Plus it opens up the discussion, toggles people’s brains and engages their thinking.

What’s more, 5:1 makes you sound smarter (in a roundabout way) simply because of your willingness to be dumb. Nobody ever left a group meeting saying, “Man, remember that guy who asked all those great questions? What an idiot. Sure annoyed the hell out of me!” Are you a great asker?

3. Allow ideas and experiences to profoundly penetrate you. Let the pearl sink. Register the moment. Allow the idea to slowly sink from your head down into your heart. Now, this practice of creative, patient listening is difficult for many people. It takes a tremendous amount of self-control.

Keep in mind: The quicker you understand something, the more likely it is to be a superficial understanding of that thing. Think of it this way: Instead of taking two hundred pictures of the Grand Canyon, why not just sit on the edge of it, take two hundred deep breaths and just experience it?

Remember: Pictures fade – memories of how you FELT last forever. Do you experience with your head or your heart?

4. Ask yourself WHY you’re listening. To receive people? To honor their truth? To create a loving space where others feel comfortable sharing? Or, are you listening to fix? To one-up? To insert your clever little jokes? To use other people’s comments as backboards against which you can try out your snappy new material, or to relive standup routines from fourteen years ago that probably weren’t funny in the first place?

Remember: Listening isn’t a performance. Ask WHY you’re listening. Most people haven’t thought about this. Have you?

5. Turn other people into Christmas trees. Notice who hasn’t contributed in a while. Then, when the time feels right, try this move: “Hey Tony? Didn’t your son have some experience with that last year? I’d be interested in hearing your experience…”

That’s what good leaders do: They make other feel essential. And sometimes all people need is permission. Well, that AND someone to shut up the one guy who monopolizes the whole bloody discussion. Whom could you put into the spotlight??

6. Stop going first. Your hand doesn’t have to shoot up like the teacher just asked the class, “OK, children: For a BIG piece of chocolate, who can answer this next question…?” Play the game called, Let’s See How Long I Can Go without Raising My Hand. Oftentimes, someone else will touch upon what you had originally planned to say, rendering your comment unnecessary.

Better yet, you might gain a completely new dimension to your idea that you wouldn’t have known otherwise, thus making your ultimate answer stronger. How much insight are you robbing the group of by being impatient?

7. Slaughter your yabbits. You know what a yabbit is, right? One of those little, white fluffy creatures that oozes out of people’s mouths when they unconsciously merge the words “yeah” and “but.” Kill them. Use their fur as a hat. Make them an endangered species.

Here’s why: “But” is the most dangerous work in the English language. It puts people on the defensive. It makes them think there’s a catch. It negates everything said before. And it reduces the positivity of an argument. Fortunately, I wrote a list of twenty-one yabbit alternatives. You can read them at www.WascallyYabbit.com.

Ultimately, phrases like these WIN because: They focus on solutions. They maintain positivity. They ASK instead of TELL. They foster creative thinking. And they encourage open dialogue. Study them today. Refer to them periodically. Use them often. Are you yabbiting?

8. Empathizing is highly overrated. In 2008, I met a guy named Cajun Dan. He’s a veteran grief counselor from Baton Rouge. After delivering a workshop to his association, I asked him to share (as a Professional Listener) what the biggest mistake was most people make in the listening process.

He said, “The three most dangerous words any listener could ever say is ‘One time I…’” Lesson learned: Stop empathizing. Stop circling back to remind people how vastly experienced you are at their reality. Everything doesn’t always have to come back to you.

Next time you’re in a group setting, try this: Instead of showing the speaker how deeply you feel his pain by interrupting his poignant story to share (yet another) selfish, inconsequential diatribe about the bowel movements of your three-legged Beagle, practice listening like a REAL leader – with your mouth closed. Good lord, man. Does this person need empathy or silence?

REMEMBER: In every group meeting, there’s always one putzbag.

Don’t let it be you.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you a meeting master?

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For the list called, “23 Ways to Bring More of Yourself to Any Situation,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

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I was in the middle of yoga class when it happened.

Ouch … Crap … I can’t do this … I should quit … Maybe I’ll just sit out until the next posture …

“Bullshit,” said a voice from within, “You can do this.”

I met my eyes in the mirror, drew a deep inhale and relaxed into exertion.

Five seconds left.

“Change,” said the instructor.

Exhale.

I did it.
The posture was over.
I actually pulled on through.
Despite my ego’s attempt to stop me.

But wait.

“Did I just call bullshit on myself?” I wondered.

I guess so.

Cool. I didn’t know you could do that.

Apparently you can. As long as you remember that it’s not about beating yourself up:

It’s about becoming accountable TO yourself.
It’s about finding the direct line to the truth OF yourself.
It’s about developing a radically honest relationship WITH yourself.

The cool part is: You don’t need to take yoga to do so.

Today we’re going to explore thirteen ways to call bullshit on yourself:

1. Sidestep self-manipulation. “When our lives are not working, there is always at least one thing we’re not facing.” I first read those words in Gay Hendricks’ book, Living Consciously. Then, several months later during a mentoring session, his concept crystallized.

Here’s what happened: My mentee, Rochelle, offered insight into the struggles of a job search as a 50+ single mother. At the end of one particular story, she eipilogued with the following question: And then I asked myself “Did I just get away with not having to face something again?” Wow. Can you imagine how much self-awareness that requires? Good for her.

Here’s the lesson: Look first at what you’re not facing. Honor the existence of what you’ve been evading. Then, engage in a regular practice of healthy self-confrontation. Mirrors work. Yoga works. Writing works. Begin customizing your practice today. Remember: Looking away from what you need to face burns more energy than actually facing it. Where have you been avoiding confronting yourself?

2. Investments in bullshit pay pitiful dividends. I have a good friend who’s a former alcoholic. He once told me that many of the AA members he sponsors are people who go out of their way to stock alibis and make excuses – when they (really) need to scrutinize alternatives and make choices.

“That’s why I always challenge my guys to tell me the biggest thing they’re willing to give up to get sober,” Marty says. “It teaches them to invest in their threshold level of commitment, not their standard-issue line of bullshit.”

Here’s the key: Learn to identify the stories you’re telling yourself. Retain ongoing openness to your misguided perceptions. And be aggressively skeptical about the things your ego tells you. Otherwise, you’ll wind up saluting your illusions for so long that you actually start believing in them. Yikes. How strong is your emotional dividend portfolio?

3. Believing is overrated. Don’t believe everything you think. Your mind is a moron. Don’t believe your own in-house press. The reports are rarely accurate. And finally, don’t believe everything your ego says is good for you. The reptilian brain operates on dangerous assumptions.

In reality, certain beliefs you hold outlive their usefulness in your life. You need to learn to be OK with that. Don’t worry – new learnings will emerge. As long as you intentionally create a space for them by calling out your outworn beliefs first. What falsehood are you trying to defend because you want it to be true?

4. Smell something fishy. A fun exercise to better understand the lies you tell yourself is to ask, “What’s my favorite excuse?” Common answers might be: “I couldn’t find the time…” “That’s just who I am…” or “Technically, the warning label on that bottle of Absinthe never said it was illegal to break into the city zoo and steal a family of chinchillas for my church’s chili cook off, Officer.”

Whatever the excuse is, identifying unaccountable behavior is a perfect start to call bullshit on yourself. What’s your favorite justification?

5. Become a master of your own disinclination. I exercise everyday. Been doing so for many years. And at age thirty, it’s no longer a habit – it’s a non-negotiable. Like writing or meditation, exercise is just something I do. Everyday. Period. What about you? What’s your daily non-negotiable?

Here’s the secret: Even when you’re not in the mood – ESPECIALLY when you’re not in the mood – you do it anyway. Because discipline trumps desire. Next time you feel the excuse barrage slowly creeping in, call bullshit on yourself by saying, “I don’t have to LIKE it – I just have to do it.” It’s like flossing your teeth: You learn to love what’s good for you, even if you hate it. How well do you kick your own ass?

6. Break the noise patterns. Call bullshit on the buzz of competing voices fighting to drown out your intuition. Don’t let them win. Don’t participate in their fear of the world. And (definitely) don’t allow their negativity to infiltrate your atmosphere.

These voices are additional incarnations of The Resistance. And they’re terrified of intuition because intuition is the language of the body, and the body never lies. So, pick one: Your ego or your anatomy. One talks truth, the other talks trash. Which voice will you listen to?

7. Be not locked into limited concepts of who you are. A simple way to call bullshit on yourself is to calmly, curiously and continuously ask, “What is my evidence to support this belief?” Odds are, you won’t find any. And here’s why: Limits aren’t limits. They’re self-imposed constraints. Paper-thin barricades feeding on a steady diet of your fear of them.

The cool part is, once you start challenging yourself to legitimately defend yourself – i.e., “God I suck at this!” … “Whoa, wait, what is my evidence to support this belief?” – you start to realize that it’s all just noise. Mental mayhem. Whatever it takes to steal you away from the present moment, which is exactly what your ego is most terrified of.

Don’t let it happen. You’re stronger than that. What fictional story have you told yourself so many times that it’s evolved into journalism?

8. Hold an Honesty Pow-Wow with yourself. I learned this move from my peacefully honest friend, Chrissy. It’s simple but not easy. Here’s how it’s done: Drop the veil and openly acknowledge that you have chosen to be where you are, right now. “You are the result of yourself,” as Pablo Neruda once said. Here are some questions you might ask yourself:

o Am I part of this evil?
o What have I done to cause this to happen?
o How have I arranged it so I’m having this experience?
o Have I done anything to bring this misfortune upon myself?
o And what is about me or in me that has invited or attracted this into my life?

Remember: The only constant in life is YOU. You are the superintendent of your own soul. The architect of your own future. The artisan of your own happiness. The biographer of your own evolution. And the counselor of your own crisis. It’s always your fault. How do you stay true to yourself under increasingly difficult situations?

9. Get out of your familiar misery. Make it a point to (only) surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you. Life’s too short to waste on people who don’t set you on fire. For example, I have several close friends who can level me like a piece of farm machinery. With one word. Or one question. Or one dirty look.

The key is, they serve as a trigger – not the gun. They say what they need to say – then I’m disturbed into action to do the majority of the work.

My suggestion: Consider the three people in your life who currently serve in a bullshit-calling capacity. Email them. Thank them. Let them know how essential they are to your detection of the veneer that’s in place. Then, recommit yourself to remaining open to their proddings.

Sure, it hurts. But growth is the residue of discomfort. And until it causes excessive misery, the bullshit isn’t going to stop. What do you need to unsweep under the carpet?

10. Energy always follows priority. If you’re not doing it, it’s not important to you. Stop kidding yourself about what you “need to start making time for.” Look at your planner from last week. The activities you spent your time on were the things that were important to you. Period. No room for bullshit there. Calendars don’t lie.

Here’s the distinction: Priorities are the things you MAKE – not find – the time for. “Find” comes from the Old English term findan, which means, “To come upon, alight on.” Which implies a search. Which means it’s possible that you might (not) find the time. “Make,” one the other hand, comes from the Frisian term makia, which means, “To build.” As in: “build into your schedule.”

As in: “build your entire day around it.” Which implies a commitment. Which means it’s not possible that you won’t do it. I challenge you to call bullshit on yourself by reminding yourself of that fine line. How do you know what’s important to you?

11. Don’t refuse to look into yourself. Stop keeping secrets from yourself. Inspect what you expect. Know what charms you. And avoid overlooking the inconvenient. As Brad Blanton explained in one of my favorite books, Radical Honesty,

“Life goes on and the truth changes; this just happens to be the way life is. What was once true is often no longer true just a little while later. Yesterday’s truth is today’s bullshit. Even yesterday’s liberating insight is today’s jail of stale explanation.”

Remember: The mirror is your friend. It will never lie to you. Are you willing to listen to all of yourself?

12. Decide if the squeeze is worth the juice. One of the few things I learned in college was the concept of opportunity cost. The next forgone alternative. The point of diminishing returns. In short: Tradeoffs. What you give up to get something. So, next time you’re not sure if something is going to be worth it, consider (honestly) asking yourself these questions:

o What is this getting in the way of?
o Is this an expectation I can reasonably meet?
o Am I being fair to myself by continuing this relationship?
o Is this person helping create a future that I’m going to feel obligated to be a part of?

The whole point is to induce self-squirming. Better now than five years later when your hand is so cramped from squeezing that you can’t even pick up the glass to enjoy the juice. Is this an opportunity or an opportunity to be used?

13. Don’t let your ego write checks your body can’t cash. Another mantra from my yoga instructor. Helpful in (and out) of the studio. Especially when it comes to time management. Like my friend Kim says in her book There’s An Adult in My Soup:

“Busyness isn’t a badge of honor – it’s the new four-letter word. The modern culture’s obsession with the ‘I’m so busy’ mantra turns into a crutch that enables people to avoid taking 100% responsibility for their lives.”

Lesson learned: Trying to impress yourself is an exhausting upstream paddle. Slow down. Otherwise your body is going to call bullshit on you before you get a chance. Will your body have sufficient funds in its account to cash the ridiculous check your ego is trying to write?

In conclusion, let’s turn east to Steven Mitchell’s Second Book of the Tao:

“If assumptions are questioned deeply enough, they let go of themselves.”

REMEMBER: You’ll never make a name FOR yourself until you’re held accountable TO yourself, BY yourself.

I know it’s hard. I know it hurts.

But refusing to call bullshit on yourself is like cheating at solitaire.

Sure, nobody will know.

But you’ll still lose.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you remind yourself who you are?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

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