HOWEVER: There are certain things in life that people will always need more of.
What brand of “more” do you deliver?
Consider these ideas to get started:
1. Trust more than people think is wise. I trust people in advance. It’s a great time saver and, most of the time, works to the advantage of both parties. What’s more, telling someone, “I trust you,” is another way of saying, “I feel comfortable being myself around you.”
A message like that instantly lowers the threat level of the conversation and encourages reciprocation. And sure, it backfires sometimes. But I’d rather get burned on occasion then walk around with bars to my heart. What empties your trust bank?
2. Thank more than people think is normal. Gratitude is not an event. It’s not a chore. And it’s certainly not a corporate initiative. Gratitude is a fashion statement. And it looks good on every person during every season.
However, thankfulness is more than just writing notes – it’s a calendar of consistent action. It’s engaging with the world on a perpetual search for something to give thanks for. And it’s living every day of your life as a thank you in perpetuity to the forces that have shaped you. Where did you first learn gratitude?
3. Communicate more than people think is needed. No news is bad news. If you’re not prolific in your communication with the people who matter most, you run the risk of being destroyed by silence. After all, the opposite of honesty isn’t lying – it’s omitting. And when you leave people in the dark, they engage in worse case thinking.
The key is to create a ritual that keeps you prolific in your communication. A regular, repeatable act that layers meaning on top of a mundane activity. What if you posted sign-up sheets for private lunches your office doors?
4. Care more than people think is expected. Caring is not an emotion – it’s an intersection. It’s the loving collision between your attention and someone else’s need. And the best part is, no act of caring is too small. Like epoxy glue, even a small drop is sticky as hell.
But caring isn’t easy. And it’s not the same as being nice. Being nice is pouring someone a cup of tea. Caring is listening to that person’s story while the tea steeps. The point is, if you’re trying to outsource that function, if you’re trying to bastardize caring into a technique, people are going to notice. And they’re going to be pissed. Does your organization punish people for caring?
5. Believe more than people think is necessary. Listening is not enough. Taking an interest is not enough. People need to be believed in. That’s the nourishment they require. The cool part is, when you tell someone you expect great things, they tend to rise to the moment to prove you right. All because you infected them with a vision of what they could contribute.
At that point, all you have to do is sit back, tell them you’re proud and remind them that you knew they could – and would – do it. How will you help people taste the sweet liberation of what’s possible?
6. Give more than people think is fair. Not so you look good. Not so people feel indebted to you. And not so everyone can see what a generous person you are. Give because it’s right – not because it’s recognized and reciprocated.
Even if you’re strapped for cash or pressed for time. You can always give your art, aka, bringing your humanity to the moment in a way that leaves the recipient altered. That’s generosity at its best. Will your relationships suffer death by scorecard?
REMEMBER: Less is for amateurs.
Sometimes more is more.
Don’t just give people what they want – give them what they remember.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What brand of “more” do you deliver?
LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
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That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Publisher, Artist, Mentor
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