According to www.HumanForSale.com, I am worth $2,693,430.
Sweet. That’s a nice self-esteem booster.
Still, while I took the online assessment, I started thinking: What IS self-esteem, really?
My handy etymology dictionary informed me that the term “esteem” comes from the Latin aestimare, or “to estimate.”
THEREFORE: Self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.
The overall appraisal of your personal value.
Today we’re going to talk about how to supercharge your self-esteem, even when most of the world thinks you’re nuttier than a bag of trail mix.
1. Listen closely to the way you talk to yourself. Hearing voices isn’t just for the insane – it’s for the in-touch. That’s where it self-esteem is activated: The inner dialogue you have with yourself. I credit Shad Helmstetter for teaching me this. He’s the world’s leading specialist in the field of self-talk.
The first time I read What You Say When You Talk to Yourself, the architecture of my heart changed forever. “You are everything you choose to be,” says Shad. “How successful you will be at anything is inexorably tied to the words and beliefs about yourself that you have stored in your subconscious mind. Your self-talk is the new blueprint of you.”
His books will challenge you (through affirmations) to activate and utilize the best aspects of yourself. And the cool part is: It works. All of it. I use what Shad taught me every day of life. Go read Shad’s stuff. Your self-esteem will thank me. Are you ready to change the conversation you’re having with yourself?
2. Adjust your measurement horizon. I think competition is overrated. There. I said it. Competition is overrated. And there’s no way I’m the only person who feels this way. Ever meet someone who converted every interaction into a contest? Doesn’t it just make you want to crawl into a downtown dumpster with an open sore on your big toe?
I say: Relax your posture. Life’s too short to morph every element of your existence into a competition. Sure, the competitive spirit is healthy and natural and has historically motivated many great things. But it’s a beautiful moment when you realize that you’re no longer anxious to prove your value.
And the best part is, the less you have to prove, the less other people feel threatened around you. So, the secret to self-esteem isn’t removing competition, but redefining the subject with whom you’re competing.
My theory: The only person worth competing with is the earlier version of yourself. Because it’s not about being better than anyone – it’s about being better than you used to be. Are you competing with unbeatable opponents?
3. If you don’t like yourself, maybe you just don’t know yourself. Picture this: You meet a woman named Patty. You decide you don’t like her. Then you share this opinion with your mutual friend, Rick. And he responds with, “You just have to get to know her a little better.”
So, being the compassionate, patient person you are, you decide to get to know her. And over time, you realize that Rick was right – Patty turns out to be pretty cool. (She even shows horses and crochets dog sweaters on the weekends.)
My question is: Could you apply that same process to yourself? If your self-esteem is lacking, is it fair to say that the reason you don’t like yourself is because you don’t KNOW yourself?
And if so, is it logical to think that if really took the time to get to know yourself, you might like yourself more? Just a thought. When was the last time you took yourself out on a date?
4. Record and celebrate small victories. Never forget to notice that you’ve succeeded. A victory is a victory. Maybe you sign a new customer. Or touch your toes in yoga class. Or sack up and tell that cute girl from Atlanta that you’re totally retarded for her.
Good for you. A victory is still a victory. Write it down. Start a Victory Log. I’ve been doing this every morning since 2002. Great self-esteem booster. Look: You don’t need to demand excessive external reassurances. Learn to affirm yourself by applauding internally.
Then, you’ll have no choice but to produce external evidence of your internal state. And people will notice. Especially that girl from Atlanta. Where did you win yesterday?
REMEMBER: Self-esteem is how you estimate yourself. The overall appraisal of your personal value.
And as we approach to the end of today’s module, I’m reminded of what Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once wrote:
“The greatest evil that can befall a man is that he should come to think ill of himself.”
Look. The only person you’re with forever is yourself.
May as well learn to love that person.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you supercharge your self-esteem?
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For the list called, “23 Ways to Bring More of Yourself to Any Situation,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!
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That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
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