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The Art of Making People Feel Seen

March 28, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

In the movie Avatar, natives on Pandora greet each other with three words:

“I see you.”

That was my favorite part of the movie. Kind of made me wish human beings were more like the Na’vi people.

HERE’S WHY: This phrase was more than a simple greeting – it was an acknowledgment.

It’s a form of namaste that means: I love you, I honor you and I understand who you are.

That’s how you make people feel seen.

Not just noticed.
Not just looked at.
Not just listened to.

Seen.

And while you can’t bastardize the art of making people feel seen into a technique, here are a few ideas to keep in mind as you engage with the people who matter most:
1. Greeting is the engine of seen. My parents were high school sweethearts. They’ve been together more than forty years. And when I asked them to share their recipe for a successful, enduring partnership, here’s what they advised:

“We never got lazy with each other.”

Too bad more couples don’t practice that. After all: Relationships work when you work at them. Otherwise they degrade into predictable, boring, complacent stalemates. And that’s when people start to feel invisible.

One test is to pay attention to the length of time you devote to greeting people. How long do you hold eye contact? Handshakes? Hugs? Kisses? Because there is an inverse relationship between the length of your greeting and the level at which people feel seen.

For example: When my girlfriend and I greet each other, our unofficial ritual is that we always embrace for a minimum of ten seconds. Wherever we are, whatever we’re doing, that moment is for us.

And it’s not like we’re kissing with one eye on the clock. She doesn’t slap me if I pull back after nine seconds. The point is to stay present. To honor and celebrate the relationship. And to never, ever get lazy with each other. When your significant other came home from work yesterday, how long did you kiss each other?

2. Honor the unique person, not just the assigned role. The biggest complaint about large hospitals is their insistence on formality. Instead of connecting personally and communicating directly, doctors reduce patients to the anonymity of a horizontal figure between the white sheets. And all that does is underestimate their hearts.

The secret is to give feedback and support for the things that make people unique. Instead of giving a dull, blank stare – plunge yourself insatiably into the uniqueness of the other person. This honors who they are, not just the role they fulfill.

Also, take the time to do what you could have easily blown it off. Even if it seems mundane. Even if it would have been easier to delegate it to your assistant or send a surrogate. You’ll find that what’s pedestrian to you become priceless to them.

Remember: When you continually communicate visibility, you give people a gift. Are you turning a blind eye to the human experience?

3. The convenience of connectedness comes at a high price. When you divide your attention between the person in front of you and the people you’re giving snippets of your digital attention to, it’s disrespectful, annoying and makes people feel invisible.

Are you really that important? Or are you putting yourself at the beck and call of people you barely even know just to feel needed?

In the book Crazybusy, Dr. Edward Hallowell writes about this very topic. His research proves that each time you introduce a new object of attention into what you’re doing; you dilute your attention on any one object. “Multitasking is usually disrespectful to someone,” he says.

My suggestion: Put down your phone. Honor the audience of one. Listen with your eyes. And when you’re with people, really be with people. Instead of checking your email under the dinner table, make it clear that human beings are more important than technology. People will feel seen.

Remember: Just because you’re instantly connected to the masses doesn’t mean you’re intimately connected to the people who matter. What do people get when they get you?

4. The opposite of listening. Conversational narcissists drive me crazy. Probably because I used to be one. If you’re not familiar with the term, let me explain: If all you’re doing is thinking about what you’re going to say next, you’re not listening – you’re rehearsing. And that’s the polar opposite of making people feel seen.

My suggestion: Stop adding value. Stop anticipating what people are going to say next. Stop crafting the story you’re going to tell to demonstrate empathy. And stop plotting how you’re going steer the conversation into the direction of your personal agenda.

Instead, plaster yourself with patience. Say yes to silence. And practice otherliness by shifting the focus from you to the other person. Like a good yoga student, learn to stay in the posture until the teacher says change.

Otherwise you leave people wondering why they even bothered to talk to you in the first place. Are you losing track of conversations with key people because of inner conversations you’re having with your ego?

5. Stay fascinated with people. There’s nothing worse than attending a meeting where people treat you like you’re part of the wallpaper. Not the best way to make you rush back next month. As an approachable leader, part of your job is to keep an eye out for new people and guests who haven’t had a chance to contribute.

First, because still waters usually run deep. And they probably have cool input to offer. Secondly, just because they’re quiet doesn’t mean they hate the spotlight. They might just need a little push onto center stage.

To make them feel seen, ask them to share their experience. Give them permission to contribute to the group. Respond to their ideas with a foundation of affirmation. Then, go out of your way to thank them at the end of the meeting for sharing. This invites them to continually do so in the future, plus leaves them feeling impressed with themselves.

Remember: Making people feel seen isn’t about being the life of the party – it’s about bringing other people to life at the party. How many people did you go out of your way to ignore last week?

6. A small drop goes a long way. I’m not on social media as much as people think. Just enough to fulfill several key intentions. First, to publicly thank people who inspire my work. And I do so across all platforms on a daily basis. How are you paying homage to the voices that shape you?

Second, to hear what my readers are saying. Then, use my listening platform to turn feedback into inspiration. Are you using social media as a selling tool or a hearing aid? Third, to send personal, private and direct messages to people who follow my work. This combination of gratitude and engagement keeps me connected to the people who matter most. Does your autoresponder make people feel invisible?

The point is: This level of engagement doesn’t require an inordinate amount of time. It’s not like I’m tweeting every spare minute of my day like Gary Vee. Or spending family time glued to my smartphone. Or getting sucked into the digital vortex by responding to every magnet for my attention when I should be paying attention to the person across the dinner table.

Making people feel seen online is like epoxy glue – you don’t need much to make it stick. It’s simply a matter of bothering to bother. Are you taking time to show people they’re worth the effort?

REMEMBER: You look with your eyes, but seeing is something you do with the heart.

Don’t make people feel invisible.

Love them. Honor them. Acknowledge them.

And they will come back.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What do you see when you see people?

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For the list called, “22 Unexpected Ways to Help People,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

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Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 25, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

You’ve chosen an uncertain path.
You’ve adopted an inconvenient lifestyle.
You’ve embarked upon an unconventional journey.
You’ve felt the voice inside you growing more urgent.
You’ve committed yourself enough so you can’t turn back.

IN SHORT: You’ve decided to play for keeps.

This is the critical crossroads – the emotional turning point – in the life of every young artist.

I’ve been there myself, and here’s a list of suggestions to help you along the way: (Read part one here, part two here, part three here, part four here, part five here and part six here.

1. Bring yourself into risk territory. In the book Wisdom, Robert Redford cautions, “Once you begin thinking about security, you begin to erode yourself as an artist and stop being able to take the risks you need to take.”

That’s the challenge: You have to be willing to step across the lines of safety and to accept the surprises of the outcome. Otherwise your work remains stale and uninspired. Nothing but a series of boring reproductions doomed to disappoint.

Personally, I find that it’s helpful to create a filter. A ritual that audits the level of risk in your creative endeavors. Two questions you might ask are: “What do I risk in releasing this work?” and “Who will this piss off?”

By doing so, you bring risk to the frontline of your artistic awareness. And the work you execute speaks with a daring voice that’s impossible to ignore. Your challenge is to customize your own practice. Whatever it takes to sustain your status as an agent of chaos.

Remember: Art without risk, isn’t. Do you dare your genius to walk the unknown path?

2. Ask for the sale. Artists aren’t typically the best salespeople. Most experience physical pain when they’re forced to assign monetary value to their intellectual and creative property.

But, as Jason Friend wrote in a recent article, “Never be afraid to put a price on something. If you pour your heart into something and make it great, sell it – for real money. Even if there are free options, even if the market is flooded with free, people will pay for things they love.”

The cool part is, charging for something makes you want to make it better, says Fried. Which means your product is going to improve by virtue of people paying for it. Which means over time, they’re going to pay more for it.

Here’s my suggestion: Never apologize for your pricing.

You deserve to be compensated commensurate with your value. State your feel confidently and shut up. Because he who speaks next, loses. You just have to believe that people love to pay for what they love – your work. Are you asking them to open their wallets?

3. Commitment trumps discipline. Here’s the biggest misconception about me: I’m not really that disciplined – I’m just obsessively focused on what’s really important. Turns out, when you actively cultivate the purpose driven nature of your work, discipline becomes a non-thought.

That’s how commitment works: It deletes distraction. It makes you wake up early. It turns habits into non-negotiables. And when you’re committed, you drop everything and get to work. Every day.

That’s the reality about being an artist: The work is always an outgrowth of who you are. Your deepest values. Your personal constitution. And if there isn’t a shade of significance in the work, it will never get done.

Remember: Discipline derives from the wellspring of why. If you truly want to play for keeps, you have to play every day. And the game has to be meaningful to you. Otherwise, you lose. What will your commitments enable you to do?

4. It’s not about doing more – it’s about doing different. If you’re stuck seeing your life from the same angle, not only will your art suffer – your soul will suffer too. And until you explore the possibility of living differently in some way, both will continue to do so.

The bad news is: I don’t have a collection simplistic tactics for temporarily boosting creativity like taking different route to work or wearing mismatched socks.

What I’m suggesting is dramatic personal displacement. Bringing yourself to a place that’s so uncomfortable, you have no choice but to be creative in every area of your life.

After all: You didn’t come here to do what has already been done. It’s time to accept the risks of committing to a new path and take your chance in the struggle. In the book Life Change Artists, Fred Mandell sums it up well:

“We overestimate the magnitude of risk we take in changing our lives, and underestimate our personal ability to successfully navigate such a change.”

Look: There’s always another door to open, and there’s always an adventure attached to it. You just have to jump. And you have to believe that you’ll be fine. When was the last time you stepped back from the canvas of your life and flipped your routine on its ass?

5. Finishing is for beginners. Real art never finishes. And even though your head will make sure your heart never gets that memo, you’ve got to press on anyway. Even if nobody notices the work you’re putting out. I learned this lesson from Robert Henri, who said:

“All any man can hope to do is to add his fragment to the whole. No man can be final, but he can record his progress.”

That’s the secret to longevity in the art world: Hunkering down with your work – every single day – and accepting that not everything you make will feel like a masterpiece. Instead, get good at starting. Stay focused on contributing to your ongoing body of work, not just a single song.

After all: Good artists are masters of promiscuity – not perfection. Their legacy is the result of volume – not accuracy. And if you can wake to the canvas of a fresh day with such purity of intent, you will win. Are you closing the book or showing the world that there are still more pages possible?

6. The greatest gift you can give is your experience. Art is the fundamental expression of who you are. It’s the autobiography of your deepest thoughts and unique collection of universal human emotions you bring to the table. As Tolstoy advised, “Write only with your pen dipped in your own blood.”

For that reason, my definition of art making has always been: “Slice open a vein and bleed your truth all over the page.” That’s where your best work is born. The good news is: It has less to do with skill and talent and more do with will and honesty.

The bad new is: It’s a risk, it hurts and it’s going to take all of you. But it’s absolutely worth it. If you want to play for keeps, go there. Commit to self-disclosure. Ask penetrating questions with your work. And make some risky art.

Remember: The more personal and intimate you are willing to be, the more universal your work become. Where are you willing to take people with you work?

REMEMBER: When you’re ready to play for keeps, your work will never be the same.

Make the decision today.

Show the world that your art isn’t just another expensive hobby.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Have you committed with both feet yet?

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For the list called, “14 Things You Don’t Have to Do Anymore,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.

Now booking for 2011-2012!

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 24, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

Approachability is about increasing the probability.

Of getting noticed.
Of getting remembered.
Of getting what matters most.

And for millions of people right now, that means getting and keeping a job.

According to this month’s report from the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment has reached a staggering level of nine and half percent.

Yikes.

Fortunately, there is way to increase the probability of employment.

No, I’m not talking about bringing a handgun to your interview.

That doesn’t work. Just ask my ex-girlfriend.

The real secret is to make yourself more employable.
My name is Scott, and I’ve never had a real job.

I started my company the day I graduated college and never looked back.

But I have dedicated every waking hour of the past decade to experimenting, experiencing and educating on approachability.

And if you do it right, approachability converts into employability.

Tired of watching Law & Order reruns all day? Here’s part two (read part one here!) of a collection of employability skills to help you increase the probability of getting – and keeping – a job:

1. Assertive trumps aggressive. Assertion is based on respect for yourself without justifying, claiming or withholding. It’s about becoming a public spokesperson for your values. It’s about engaging your backbone to solidify your boundaries. And it’s about being proactive instead of lapsing into passivity.

If you want to rock the boat without sinking the ship, try this: Don’t accept passively what is happening as the only way. Good naturedly test the limits. Become known as someone who takes action quickly, but without tramping people along the way.

Remember: Companies keep people who initiate. People who can travel without a map. After all: If you don’t make a name for yourself, someone will make one for you. What is the cost of nonassertiveness?

2. Intellect trumps smarts. Any idiot can be smart. Real job security comes from being an intellectual. Here’s the difference: Smart people have all the answers; intellectuals ask all the questions. Smart people study content for the purposes of memorization; intellectuals entertain ideas for the purpose of democratization.

And smart people accumulate facts; intellectuals explore ideas, extract universal truths from their experiences – then use those lessons to make other people better.

That’s the kind of person companies want to hire: Someone whose mind can plug itself a variety of workplace equations. Someone who can step back from the corporate canvas and say, “Wait a minute. Does anyone else smell that?”

Think of it this way: Companies, much like baseball teams, pay the most money to hire athletes – not shortstops. How many positions do you play?

3. Why trumps how. Anyone can learn how to do anything. But if they’re not in touch with why they’re doing it, the lack of vision will stain every part of the process. That’s what employers are looking for: People who are plastered with purpose. People who are the walking translation of their vision.

If you want to tap into the reservoir of whypower and pinpoint the deepest motivations behind what you do, try this exercise: Make a list of a hundred reasons why you do what you do. Keep a copy in your wallet. And on your next interview, pull it out and read it. I’m serious.

People won’t just pay attention – they’ll pay money.

The point is: You can teach a monkey how to email, but you can’t teach it why the message important. Will overrides skill. Demonstrate a deep enough purpose behind your work and you can invent the technique of your work. Are you at war with how when you need to be in love with why?

4. Commitment trumps talent. I’m not saying competence is overrated – I’m saying competence is commonplace. What differentiates you is your dedication. What keeps you around is your commitment.

Those are the people that companies retain and promote: The ones with a proven history consistent commitment. Period. Talent is so last century. Now it’s merely an assumption. A commodity. And if it’s the only thing you bring to the table, you will be ignored.

On the other hand, if you compound talent with commitment – and communicate to the people who matter most that you’re fully committed – they won’t just pay attention, they’ll pay dividends. All you need is a commitment device. Because if your commitment isn’t symbolized, memorialized and personified in a tangible way, you’re just winking in the dark. Which of your fears are diminishing your commitment?

5. Passion trumps leadership. To make yourself more employable, you don’t need a title on the outside – you need a burning fire on the inside. That’s the thing about employability: It doesn’t matter who you know, it matters whose life is better because they know you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a leader, it matters is how many people are warming their hands by your fire.

Here’s how to ignite the flame: The word “passion” comes from the Latin passio, which means, “to suffer.” Therefore, the two questions you have to ask yourself are: What would you suffer to do? What would cause you suffering if you did not do it?

That’s passion. And if you can uniquely infect people with that fire every time you interact with them, they won’t even care what title you hold. True power comes from personhood. When you walk into a room, how does it change?

REMEMBER: You can’t make anybody hire you.

What you can do is increase the probability of getting a job by making yourself more employable.

And you won’t even need a handgun.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How employable are you?

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* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Now booking for 2011-2012!

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 23, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

Sometimes, it sucks being the youngest guy in room.

And by “sometimes,” I mean, “Every excruciating hour of your workday.”

Think about it:

Nobody takes you seriously. The world refuses to listen to your voice. And the people you work with are twice your age, have three times your knowledge and four times your experience.

What’s a kid to do?

Instead of going postal on your entire office with a semi-automatic machine gun (which isn’t as effective as it sounds) here’s part two (part one here) of strategies, practices and practical advice on making a name for yourself as a young professional:
1. Crystallize your timeline of credibility. If people aren’t sure whether or not to trust you, they’ll ask one question: “What measurable success has this person achieved?” And if you don’t have an answer – on paper – you will be ignored.

Try this: Document your achievements. All of them. Because if you don’t write them down, they never happened. Ever. What’s more: Keeping a paper trail of past victories – no matter how inconsequential they might seem – reinforces that you’re an employee who produces results.

That’s evidence of promotability, baby. And you’ve got to showcase that value. Otherwise you’re just winking in the dark.

Remember: You don’t need to screw the boss in the supply closet to move up. Consistency is enough to qualify you. Like I always say, “When you’ve written twelve books, people stop asking how old you are.” How will you send a credible signal?

2. Actively champion your own growth. When I first showed up at my professional association, I was the youngest person in the room. By fifteen years, minimum. But instead of slapping down my application for membership, my mentor suggested I take another approach: Show up, hang out, ask questions and shut up.

So I did. And it turns out, that was a much smarter investment of my time, money and energy. What’s more, veteran members appreciated it. They didn’t mind me eavesdropped on their thinking. And after a few years of doing that consistently, I became a board member, then later the chapter president.

Cool lesson: You don’t have to join to be a member. Never underestimate the advanceability of showing up, shutting up and listening louder than anybody in the room.

The only caveat is: You have to let people like you. Because if you put box around yourself and rob people of the chance to know the real you, it won’t matter how awesome you are. How are you counteracting generational stereotypes?

3. Victory trumps winning. Wayne Gretsky holds the world record for most goals scored. That’s an example of a win – because it makes him look good. Interestingly, Gretzky also holds the record for the most assists. That’s an example of a victory – because it makes his teammates look good. See the difference?

That’s what young professional need to remember: Making a name for yourself means helping others do the same. It’s about being a stand for other people’s greatness. Creating an atmosphere where they can shine.

My suggestion: Step back from center stage. Stop trying to be the life of the party and start bringing other people to life at the party. After all, it’s not who you know – it’s whose life is better because they know you. And that doesn’t mean stop winning; it means help others achieve victory just as often. You will become a voice worth listening to. How do people experience themselves in a relation to you?

REMEMBER: Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you’re useless.

As the youngest person in your office, you have an opportunity to bring new blood, fresh perspective and youthful energy to the workplace.

Be patient. Be proactive. Be pointed. And be a problem solver.

And maybe you won’t even need that semi-automatic machine gun after all.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you leveraging your youth?

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For the list called, “14 Things You Don’t Have to Do Anymore,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.

Now booking for 2011-2012!

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 22, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

Video not working? Click here for Adobe Flash 9!

Or, watch the original video on NametagTV.

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

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Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 21, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

Hugh Macleod said it best:

“People can say a lot about Americans: We’re idiots, uncultured, shallow and naïve. But what we do have that almost no other country has, is a pretty good monopoly on possibility.”

That what I love about this country: We’re all free to live our dreams.

Notice I didn’t say “The American Dream.”

That phrase is done. As George Carlin so aptly observed: “It’s called The American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

What matters is your dream. Your vision. Your possibility.

THE CHALLENGE IS: Having a dream is easy – selling that dream is the nightmare.

Fortunately, if you execute a few key practices, I promise that you won’t wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat:
1. Go back to the future. When I first started my publishing company, my mentor asked me a question I’ll never forget: “If everybody did exactly what you said, what would the world look like?” Turns out, this is the critical question that every writer – and, for that matter, every leader – needs to ask. Here’s why:

First, it enables you to act as if the dream has already come true. Second, it helps you imagine what you need to become in order for the dream to manifest. Third, it empowers you to speak from the future, then look back to identify the steps that led there. Finally, it inspires you to paint a compelling, detailed picture of the desired future that you can meaningful strides toward.

And the best part is: This question keeps you accountable to your dream as you sell it. Because all you have to do is make sure that what you’re doing every day is both giving people the tools they need to build that world, plus showing them how to use those tools correctly.

Remember: You can’t sell anyone on your dream if you haven’t sold it to yourself first. If everybody did exactly what you said, what would the world look like?

2. Enable the infection. Not with a fatal disease, of course. The word “infect” comes from the Latin inficere, which means, “to put in.” That’s what approachable leaders do: They infect their followers. And the question you have to ask yourself is: What are you putting into people?

Fire? Passion? Creativity? Excitement? Inspiration? Enthusiasm? Salmonella? What are you infecting them with?

In fact, it might not even matter. With the exception of most diseases, what you infect people isn’t as important as how you infect them. And in my experience, the best way to infect people is simple: Go out of your way to gush. Just like you do with your best friend after a memorable first date.

You know the drill: You call them up as soon as you get back to your car. Then, while your heart is still doing back flips, you yap their ears off for an hour about how great the girl is.

That’s gushing. Letting the infection cascade out of your pores like a waterfall until other people have no choice but to believe you. It has nothing to do with being sick. It’s about transferring emotion. Putting something into people. Influencing them with your energy, mood, mindset and overall state of being. Whom are you infecting?

3. Connect your dreams to their values. Enrolling your loved ones into your dream is not a tent revival moment of conversion – it’s a continual process of constitutional alignment. That’s the next secret to selling your dream: Helping people understand that your dream directly connects to three things.

First, with the person they are. Second, with the narrative they hold. And third, with the vision they maintain. Without that trifecta, when faced with the opportunity to buy into your dream, people will yawn, offer their best golf clap and mutter, “Meh, that’s nice.”

The thing is: You don’t want to be nice – you want to be necessary. Here’s the difference. Nice gets commended; necessary gets compensated. Nice leads to sticky; necessary leads to spreadable. Nice achieves mindshare; necessary captures heartshare. Nice is a helpful addition; necessary is a vital component. And nice is the vitamin that convinces you you’re getting better; while necessary is the aspirin that actually kills your pain.

Get the point? See the pattern? Align your dream with their reality. Otherwise, if people can’t see their own reflection in the finish of your wood, they’ll never buy your furniture. How are you create a message to resonate with what’s already there?

4. Inspire people to see the world as you do. In her book, The Story Factor, Annette Simmons reminds us that people don’t want more information – they want faith in you, your goals, your success and the story you tell. “That’s why people pick up where you left off: Because they believe.”

The hard part is getting them to drink the punch. For example, I recently launched brandtag, my series of customized, limited edition art pieces. It’s by far the riskiest thing I’ve ever shipped. But what most people don’t know about this project, however, is that it took fifteen months to execute. And not because I was procrastinating.

Rather, because I was documenting every single phase of the creative process – then, privately sharing it in a twenty-minute slide show presentation – with people who matter to me. Partly to obtain their feedback, but also to infect them with my vision of what the world would look like when these art pieces finally shipped.

And to my delight, when brandtag set sail, those people were already on board and willing to help me paddle.

Remember: If people can’t see the passion in your face, they won’t hear a word that comes out of your mouth. Will you do whatever it takes to get your dream into the hearts of the people who matter most?

5. Convince people that you’re doing something important. It’s not enough to help people dream the same dream as you – you also have to educate them on why they should sell it for you. The secret, writes Guy Kawasaki in Selling the Dream, is to enable as many people as possible to touch, feel and experience your cause. Literally.

If you have to physically run a live demo in public, do it. If you have to build a prototype that paints a detailed picture of the dream’s desired future, do it. And if you have to hire a camera crew to follow you around for a week so you can produce a sixty-second promo video to publish on your social platform, do it.

That’s how you go beyond radical honesty and enter into the territory of ridiculous transparency: By being gloriously explicit. By punching people in the face with your dream and making no qualms about how the world will be a better place once it comes to fruition. How are you making it easy for people to go with your flow?

6. Err on the side of embodiment. Jesus didn’t just tell stories – he was the story. That’s what enabled his dream to endure. That’s what made his dream eminently sellable to the masses. And that’s what inspired his followers to leap out of their sandals and paint the earth with his dream for the next two thousand years.

The cool part is: You don’t need to be a Christian to be a follower of Christ. We can all learn from his example, religious beliefs notwithstanding. My suggestion: Stop being a storyteller and start being a storyliver.

The proof is already there. All you have to do is figure out what questions you’ve been answering with your life since your dream started. Then, write them down. Next, support each question with at least three specific stories and experiences from your life. And finally, use that reservoir of embodiment as ammo to mount an evidence campaign. How much evidence will you need to take the people who matter lightyears beyond reasonable doubt?

REMEMBER: Selling your dream can be disheartening.

Especially when people don’t take you seriously, aren’t interested in your progress and only seem to notice the negativity of your endeavors.

But.

Everything depends on those who go on anyway.

Be one of those persisters. Seek your dream – not thee dream.

Resisting you will be futile.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Would you rather follow your heart and fall on your face, or swallow your voice and watch freedom escape?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “153 Quotations to Inspire Your Success,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Now booking for 2011-2012!

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 21, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

Welcome!

This blog is where you belong if:

You want to matter.
You want to stay rare.
You want to inject soul.
You want to delete average.

You want to play for keeps.
You want to reach the world.
You want to capture heartshare.

You want to give yourself away.
You want to focus your face off.
You want to treat people like people.
You want to humanize the workplace.
You want to reach and engage the people who matter most.
You want to be taken seriously by the people who matter most.

You want to stamp out anonymity.
You want to slay your inner editor.
You want to give your river a voice.
You want to take the road less traveled.
You want to command attention everywhere.
You want to help people fall in love with themselves.

You want to advocate against normality.
You want to wage a war against the status quo.
You want to live the legacy that’s in your heart.
You want to overcome your addiction to permission.
You want to express yourself diversely and relentlessly.

You want to elevate your hireability, employability, listenability, trustability, findability, buyability and yessability.

If those things are not important to you, that’s totally cool.

No hard feelings.

JUST KNOW: That’s who I am, and that’s what I write about.

Hope you choose to stick around.

Because I’d love to become part of your life in some way.

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 18, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

When I was in college, my roommate and I started a band.

Our first gig was at the campus record store. Seven people showed up, our guitars were out of tune, and I’m pretty sure there was something green my teeth.

We didn’t even meet any girls after the show.

What a waste.

But the one thing I’ll never forget was what my roommate whispered to me between songs:

“Dude, you’re singing with too much soul. Take it easy.”

We never played out in public again.

And from that day forth, I vowed to never “take it easy.”

Because there’s no such thing as singing with too much soul.

Here’s how to inject more of it into your work:
1. Clarify your definition. I’m not the authority on soul – that would be James Brown. But I do think it’s important that each of us consider what it means to inject it into our work.

Here’s my philosophy, as a writer, performer, artist and entrepreneur: To inject soul is to own your gift. To inject soul is to deploy intense humanity. To inject soul is to exhibit naked personhood. To inject soul is to stay in touch with your own story. To inject soul is to enable a near life experience. To inject soul is to widen the boundaries of your being. To inject soul is to create moments of perfect symmetry. And to inject soul is to show people what’s under your fingernails.

What’s your definition?

Because no matter how you define it, when you inject soul, you are impossible not to watch. When you inject soul, you become a voice worth listening to. When you inject soul, you make people who aren’t your customers, wish they were. And when you inject soul, you earn a permanent spot in people’s heart. Might be worth defining for yourself. What do you bring to your work that nobody else in your industry can touch?

2. Scare the hell out of yourself. Soul stockpiles when you embrace anarchy and break the barrier that shields you from naked experience. Nothing dangerous, obviously. I’d hate for you to scare yourself to the point that you wind up in the hospital. Or violate your values. Or contaminate your personal constitution.

But fear is the final compass for finding what matters. And you’ve got to give that fear a clear voice. Otherwise you’ll never execute anything worth talking about.

My suggestion: Only pursue ideas whose risk level is through the roof. Create a personal filter that gauges the level of danger in whatever you undertake. Otherwise your audience will yawn.

For example, as I writer, I’m constantly asking, “What do I risk in publishing this material?” That’s how I keep my writing bloody, relatable and remarkable. That’s how I dance on the edge of chaos on a daily basis. And that’s how I stay focused on the work that matters most.

Remember: Ideas become interesting the moment they start to scare you. If it doesn’t hurt, you’re not there yet. What soul will your fear help you deliver?

3. Care about people’s experience when they’re around you. Being approachable isn’t just about how people experience you – it’s how they experience themselves in relation to you. That’s the next way to inject soul: Give people something they didn’t know they wanted. By taking them places they didn’t expect to go, you send them on mental journeys from which they never fully return.

In the immortal words of comedian George Carlin, “Even if they didn’t want go to there in the first place, once they arrive, they’ll be glad you took them there.”

That’s the secret nobody bothers to tell you: You’re not in business to provide a service – you’re in business to center on, and become known for – a unique way of interacting with the world. Maybe it’s the fastest. Maybe it’s the friendliest. Maybe it’s the funniest.

Doesn’t matter. As long as you repeatedly articulate your est, injecting soul will be a natural byproduct.

Remember: Every organization interacts with people – but not all of them brand it as their inherent, unique superiority. How could you speak to your market in a way they’re never been spoken to before?

4. Expect less from technology and more from each other. You can’t filter your entire life through pixels – not if you want that life to matter. That’s why approachability is not going away. In fact, it’s becoming more essential by the day.

If you want to inject soul, you have to make things unexpectedly personal. Instead of outsourcing the human function, practice interactional casualness. Compress your personality into micro moments of individual expression.

But not as calculated actions – as loving impulses. Otherwise you come across as cold and alienating. And your flat and inexpressive language will go unnoticed.

Believe me: Investing time and money to inject soul is always worthwhile. I challenge you to expose the place where you really live, fearlessly open the closed room and bring all of yourself to everything you do.

It might be inconvenient – but it’s never impossible. And people always notice. Where are you sacrificing experiences for expenses?

5. Pass the torch. Part of making a name for yourself is helping others make a name for themselves along the way. After all: People shouldn’t have to wait for permission to express themselves. Their unique light should shine bright and consistently.

Otherwise, crushed under the weight of can’t, they wind up delivering emotionless, forgettable non-service.

That’s the next secret to injecting soul: Petitioning the people around you to do the same. Helping them light their own fire. And giving people permission to express their personal brand unabashedly. Not only does this color their daily experience, it also reinforces their freedom and invites them to demonstrate their creativity.

Remember: Like a pocket full of fireworks waiting for a match, the people you work with would give anything for the opportunity to show you how much soul they really have. Be an enabler of that. Help people believe in their own possibility a little more. They’ll work their hearts out for you. Do you love yourself enough to get the hell out of the way so people can articulate their fabulousness?

6. Build virtuosic moments. Kid Rock has sold twenty three million records. This is not an accident. In the revealing book Music, he shared his philosophy of life and business:

“If it looks good, you’ll see it. If it sounds good, you’ll hear it. If it’s marketed right, you’ll buy it. But if it’s real, you’ll feel it.”

That’s what happens when you inject soul: People feel it. Down to their bones. And if you want to compete in today’s marketplace, that’s the price of admission.

Long gone are the days of interrupting people until they die or hire you. Long gone are the days of tricking people into buying something.

Now, you’re no longer just competing for people’s attention – you’re competing for their emotions. And unless you’re willing to loosen the tightness of your heart, you’ll never cut through the clutter.

Benefits, schmenefits. Your soul is what people buy. How are you leading with that in the sales process?

REMEMBER: Soul informs brand, and brand informs your bank account.

Inject it into everything.

James Brown would be proud.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you known for your sale or your soul?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “10 Unmistakable Motivators of Human Engagement,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.

Now booking for 2011!

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 17, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

Approachability is about increasing the probability.

Of getting noticed.
Of getting remembered.
Of getting what matters most.

And for millions of people right now, that means getting and keeping a job.

According to this month’s report from the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment has reached a staggering level of nine and half percent.

Yikes.

Fortunately, there is way to increase the probability of employment.

No, I’m not talking about bringing a handgun to your interview.

That doesn’t work. Just ask my ex-girlfriend.

The real secret is to make yourself more employable.
My name is Scott, and I’ve never had a real job.

I started my company the day I graduated college and never looked back.

But I have dedicated every waking hour of the past decade to experimenting, experiencing and educating on approachability.

And if you do it right, approachability converts into employability.

Tired of watching Law & Order reruns all day? Here’s a collection of employability skills to help you increase the probability of getting – and keeping – a job:

1. Character trumps beauty. Remember the prettiest girl in school? She received constant praise from everybody, had the world handed to her on a silver platter and rarely had to work that hard to win.

But by the time she hit thirty – and the beauty started to fade – she regretted never making any effort to be special. Woops.

That’s the difference between eye candy and brain candy: One is physical attractiveness with little or no substance; the other is psychological attractiveness with high mental appeal. And unless you’re applying for a position at Hooters, focusing on the content of your character – not the level of your beauty – is what will get you hired.

And don’t get me wrong: It’s not that you shouldn’t be mindful of personal presentation. But you don’t have to be good looking to be attractive. Are you catching people’s eyes with beauty or capturing people’s hearts with brilliance?

2. Flexibility trumps strength. Being flexible isn’t about touching your toes – it’s about responding to life – and doing so with an attitude of openness, creativity and self-belief. Here’s how to demonstrate your professional plasticity:

First, actively seek out ways to be stretched. Be emotionally flexible – that is, maintain a wide spectrum of emotions rather than responding rigidly and defensively.

Second, adopt a predisposition to compromise. Be mentally flexible – that is, entertain multiple viewpoints and values and beliefs that are different than your own.

Finally, be what the moment requires. Be contextually flexible – that is, sustain your strength amidst the rapidly changing nature of the economic environment.

Remember: Nobody cares how much weight you can lift – they care how much you change can adapt. Does the muscle of your life have a broad range of motion?

3. Heartset trumps mindset. The problem with attitude is that it can be faked. Read enough affirmations and you can convince anyone that you have the mindset of a winner. Heartset, on the other hand, cannot. And because this is a term I’ve coined, let me break it down for you:

Heartset is the emotional repertoire that enables your spirit to persist. It’s the durability to slog through what matters and the inner infrastructure that keeps you plugging away.

Heartset is also the emotional contract you make with yourself. It’s the identity and predisposition that determines how you interpret situations and respond to life. You can’t fake that. And only when make the conscious decision to adopt a winning heartset will people start to notice.

Remember: Anybody can be successful for a short period of time before the rest of the world finds out about you. But if you’re counting on faking it until you make it, you may never make it. How do you bring your humanity to the moment?

4. Truth trumps academics. The reason I’m so widely read as an author is not because I have an unparalleled command of the English language – it’s because I write in blood. That’s what my readers have come to expect: More honesty per square inch than anyone out there.

Sure, it’s not exactly academic, but at least I won’t bullshit you. How are you branding your honesty?

Maybe it’s by being microscopically truthful in those little moments where lying would probably be easier and quicker. Maybe it’s by encouraging the truthful self-expression of everyone around you. Or maybe it’s running the risk of appearing inconsistent for the sake of preserving the truth.

Either way, remember this: Honesty is attractive because it is rare. And unexpected. And underrated. Be known for it. Would you rather be remembered as the employee who thought he knew everything or the employee who always told the truth?

5. Execution trumps creativity. People know me as the guy who wears a nametag every day. But that’s not my real claim to fame. What matters is that I leveraged the simple idea of wearing a nametag everyday into a successful enterprise. That’s execution. That’s taking action on what matters most.

Your challenge is to position yourself as someone who does the same. Straight out of my latest book, Ideas Are Free, Execution Is Priceless, here’s a rapid-fire list of my best practices for doing so:

First: Be strategically impatient – stop waiting for permission to start.

Second: Build executional capacity into your idea from the onset – calculate the cost of inaction to motivate you.

Third: Develop massive intolerance for the inconsequential – make a list of twenty things that consume your time but don’t move you forward, then stop doing those things.

Fourth: Hustle while you wait – give away your talent to the market until they’re ready to pay for it.

Fifth: Ignore feedback from people who don’t matter – decide whose advice you have outgrown.

Lastly: Finished is the new perfect – when you get to eighty percent done, ship. Become a master of execution and you’ll never be fired.

Remember: You don’t need an idea – you need an, “I did.” Can you turn a seed into a forest without any rain?

REMEMBER: You can’t make anybody hire you.

What you can do is increase the probability of getting a job by making yourself more employable.

And you won’t even need a handgun.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How employable are you?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “205 States of Being That Matter Most,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Never the same speech twice.
Now booking for 2011-2012!

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

March 16, 2011 by Scott Ginsberg

My business card is a nametag.

But it doesn’t say Scott – it says Scott’s Friend.

I do this for three few reasons.

To assure people that face-to-face is coming back. And, that regardless of age, technology or personality, nothing will ever beat human contact.

To remind people that you can’t filter every experience of your life through pixels. Not if you want that life to matter.

To show people that it’s still cool to meet people the old fashion way. By touching their skin, looking them straight in the eyes and taking to them with your mouth.

IN SHORT: To market my humanity.

That’s the most underrated marketing strategy in the world: Being a person.

Here’s how you can do the same:
1. Exponentially increase your activity level. Did you know it’s easier to just say hi to everybody? That’s why my personal mantra is, “Consistency is far better than rare moments of greatness.”

Think about it: How many people did you go out of your way to avoid last week? Better yet: How many people went out of their way to avoid you last week?

I think that’s the highlight of wearing a nametag all the time: It generates spontaneous moments of authentic human interaction, infused with a sprit of humor, playfulness and connection.

This happened on a recent trip to Atlanta. My flight attendant noticed my nametag and made a classic comment: “I wish all my passengers wore nametags – that way I wouldn’t have to say sir!”

It made my day. And imagine it certainly brightened hers. Do that five times a day for a decade, and you can’t help but market your humanity. But only if you’re consistent. Otherwise you’re just winking in the dark. How many of those moments did you have last week?

2. Generosity always gets people’s attention. People judge you based on two criteria: How they experience you, and how they experience themselves in relation to you. Everything else is an afterthought.

The question is: How do you want to leave people? In love with you, or in love with themselves because of you?

Ideally, the latter. Because being approachable isn’t just about being the life of the party – it’s about bringing other people to life at the party. It’s not about constantly putting on a show – it’s about giving other people a front row seat to their own brilliance.

That’s how you interact with people in a way that they will not forget: By making the feel essential. That’s how you give people the social gift of elevation: By enabling them to walk away from an interaction psychologically higher than before. And if you do it right – and if there’s nothing hollow behind it – people will leave elevated. When you out of a room, how does it change?

5. Decide where you draw the line. Humanity notwithstanding, it is possible to be too approachable. And the last thing you want to do is violate somebody’s personal boundaries. That’s a mistake too many organizations make: Not everyone who walks in the door wants an unforgettable experience. From customers to guests to employees to volunteers, sometimes you just have to back off.

For example:

When I work with retailers, I remind them that sometimes you have to stop helping people shop. When I work with airline companies, I remind them that sometimes passengers just want you to drop off a bottle of water and leave them the hell alone. And when I work with call centers, I remind them that you don’t have to use the customer’s name seventeen times a minute just to assure them that you’re listening.

Instead, try asking people how much interaction they prefer. Ask questions like, “How often would you like me to communicate with you?” and “What method of communication do you prefer most?” Otherwise, overpersonalization becomes an invasion of privacy. And by giving people too much attention, they feel smothered and intruded upon. Where are you overcommunicating?

4. Leave a tender moment alone. I once had the chance to meet one of my heroes. After his speech, I made my way to the front of the meet and greet line. We shook hands, and he asked me if I wanted to get a picture.

But for the first time in a long time, instead of fumbling over my smart phone to take a picture I could later use to prove to all my friends that we’d actually met, I told Mark that I’d rather just remember the moment instead.

So I did. And so did he. And incidentally, I never forgot that moment.

That’s what happens when you capture life with the camera of the heart. And if you want to do the same, here’s my suggestion: When you encounter the people who matter most, allow those interactions to profoundly penetrate you. Breathe in their humanity. And let the pearl sink.

Otherwise your life experience becomes nothing but an overcrowded external hard drive. What is your addiction to documentation preventing you from fully experiencing?

5. It’s never too late for the truth. Honesty is scary. Not just for you, but for the people around you. Think about it: Any time you honestly, sincerely and candidly share your opinion about something that matters to you, there’s always that one insecure, cynical twit who just has to remark, “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

That’s what I never understood about the corporate world: They treat honesty like it’s some sort of organizational initiative.

Excuse me, but that’s freaking ludicrous.

First of all, if you have to tell people you are – you probably aren’t. Second, honesty shouldn’t have to be a policy. If you have to tell your people to tell the truth, you need new people. Third, if your company wants to earn a reputation of truthfulness, make honesty a constitutional ingredient – not a corporate initiative.

That’s what marketing your humanity is all about: Honoring the truth, honoring your truth and honoring other people’s truth. So what if it scares people? Tell them how you really feel. It might change everything.

Remember: You don’t need a three hundred page manual to tell you how to behave. Do you respect people enough to tell them the truth?

6. Excavate the universal human experience. What you do isn’t what you really do. There’s always something bigger. There’s always something that matters more. When I speak to recruiters and staffing professionals, I remind them that their job isn’t to manage people – it’s to enable the explosion of human potential.

Or, when I work with nurses and healthcare professionals, I teach them that their job is to give oxygen to people’s souls by allowing the dignity of self-definition. When I train company leaders, I show them that their job is to connect the duty of today with the dream of tomorrow. And when I work with relocation specialists and moving companies, I remind them that their job isn’t to move boxes – it’s to unpack the contents of the human heart.

See the difference? Your challenge is to do the same for your own work. To master the deeper humanity within your work, then embed it into your job function on a daily basis. When you go to work, what are you really doing all day, really?

REMEMBER: True power comes from personhood.

If you want to engage the people who matter most, bring all of yourself to everything you do.

Your humanity will become your company’s greatest competitive advantage.

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “20 Ways to Overcommunicate Anything,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Mentor
[email protected]

Too many ideas?

Tune in to The Entrepreneur Channel on NametagTV.com.

Watch video lessons on executing what matters.

Filed Under: Volume 21: Best of Scott's Blog, Part 7

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