If you want to grow bigger ears, remember these four words:

Let THEM say it.

Even if you have the answer.
Even if you’re totally right.
Even if what needs to be said is SO obvious.

Let them say it.

Think of yourself as a “Listening Midwife.” Your job is to assist people in giving birth to their own understanding.

As The Listener, you’re trying to uncover truth together. So, the challenge is to give people a chance to peel back another layer of intentions, desires and feelings. The challenge is to lead them down the road to understanding. The challenge is to stay neutral so your objectivity enables people to discover their own solutions and, ultimately, lead themselves.

AND HERE’S THE BEST PART: When you “let them say it,” a few cool things happen…

First:
Their answer is more rich.
Their answer is more right.
Their answer is more precise.
Their answer is more accurate.
Their answer is more expeditious.
Their answer is more THEIRS.

Second:
You help them access their own ideas.
You help them end up with better ideas.
You help their mind to think for the second time.
You help them set up conditions to find the answer with the same brain that asked the question.

Ultimately, by not taking sides, by “letting them say it,” you bolster their self-reliance.

Here’s a list of Phrases That Payses to help people lead themselves:

1. What else do you think about this?
2. So, what does that tell you?
3. So, what do you think that means?
4. Is there anything else?
5. What are you going to do?
6. What do you think is the best solution?
7. What would you do if YOU were you?

REMEMBER: If you want people’s dreams, desires and truths to come to the surface – as well as stick around ON the surface – you’ve got to enable them to lead themselves.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How could you turn this person into a genius?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

In this multi-post series, we’re going to explore daily practices to help you become known as the most approachable person in your organization.

Whether you’re an office professional, middle manager, C-level executive or part of the overnight cleaning crew, executing these strategies will accomplish three goals:

(1) Boost the net worth of your human capital.
(2) Attract MORE attention, MORE people and MORE opportunities into your professional world.
(3) Reduce the possibility that your company will kick your butt to the curb in this crappy economy.

Here we go…

1. Practice your questioning from a better place. Ideally, from a place of seeking to understand. To learn. To listen. To grow. To help. Unfortunately, too many leaders, managers and consultants will ask questions from a place of subtle, suppressed insight or camouflaged advice. As the Pointy Haired Boss from Dilbert says, “Read my mind and then recommend the decision I’ve already decided on.”

TRY THIS: Grab about ten sticky notes. On each one, write one of the following three-word mantras:

o Curious, not Gotcha.
o Discovery, not answers.
o Exploration, not accusation.
o Fascination, not frustration.
o Hypothesis, not analysis.
o Observations, not accusations.
o Responses, not reactions.
o Searching, not snooping.

Post them all around your office (especially by your phone) to reinforce this philosophy. In two weeks, I guarantee you’ll begin questioning from a better place. Are you only listening in order to confirm what you already think? How can you enter the conversation with curiosity? And what would happen to your career if you became known as the best question-asker at your company?

2. Be assertive, not aggressive. Here’s the difference: Assertive allows dialogue; aggressive prohibits listening. Assertive seeks solutions; aggressive just blames. Assertive is direct; aggressive is blunt. Assertive takes charge; aggressive takes over. Assertive invites collaboration; aggressive seeks compliance. Get the picture?

TRY THIS: Think of the ten most aggressive people you know. Then think of the ten most assertive people you know. Then ask yourself: Which group evokes more negative emotions? Which group makes people feel most uncomfortable? The answers will speak for themselves.

Remember: The only judgment people can (honestly) make is how interacting with you made them FEEL. Is your behavior underscored more by assertiveness or aggressiveness? If you asked that same question to the ten people you work with most frequently, what would their answer be? And what can you do in the next ten days to become less aggressive and more assertive?

3. Recognize disagreements as opportunities. First, as opportunities to listen and enable dialogue. Not arguing. Not backing away. Not getting defensive. Dialogue. Use Phrases That Payses like, “What tells you that?” “I’m curious about that line of thinking,” and “Is that something you want to talk about?”

TRY THIS: Recognize disagreements as opportunities to ask questions. More specifically, to positively challenge others to midwive their own solutions. Not telling. Not fixing. Not solving. Facilitating an exploration of their ideas, thus enabling them to give birth to their own understanding.

Now, I know I said it before, but it bears repeating: Don’t view feedback as a direct challenge to your intelligence and authority, nor as a threat to your position or role. Get over yourself and get inside the words. How many new opportunities did you overlook yesterday because you were blinded by defensiveness? How are you encouraging disagreements? And what would happen to your perception as a leader if you greeted all comments, ideas and suggestions with a welcoming heart?

4. Respond positively to all reports. If you constantly say, “Don’t bring me problems – bring me solutions!” you will scare people into thinking that the only time they can ever approach you is when their information is positive. As a result, you’ll always be in the dark when it comes to others’ concerns.

This, of course, sucks.

Your unapproachable appearance will stop communication in its tracks. What’s more, you’ll become the last one to find out how you’re doing.

TRY THIS: I challenge you to consistently respond to good AND bad news in a supportive, helpful and non-emotionally reactive way. That gives people permission to come back to you with their ideas, questions, concerns and thoughts. Seek to suspend your judgment and evaluation of what people tell you until you’ve taken adequate time to process their information. What’s the positive learning experience in this failure? What good could come of this? And now that you know this, what else does this make possible?

5. Share what you’re thinking and feeling. If people never know what’s on your mind, your unpredictability will create apprehension in their process of approaching you. And the silent dialogue will become, “For all I know, she could be a ticking time bomb this morning! Better not say anything deep or lengthy.”

As a result of this unapproachable pattern, here’s what happens:

o Your communication topics will always remain superficial with the people around you.

o Nobody will get to the heart of any important issues because they’re unsure about how you might react.

o People (might) end up doing the exact opposite of what you wanted, and it will be YOUR fault because they won’t know any better.

o You’ll eventually drive the people around you CRAZY because you can only ask someone “How are you?” so many times in one day before they develop the desire to start beating themselves with a stapler.

Sack up. Just tell people what’s on your mind. No need to relying on clouding every interaction to feel in control. How are you initiating movements toward people? What is causing you to be easily misunderstood? And what are you doing that prevents people from learning from you?

6. Communicate before you have to. Otherwise it will feel forced, superficial and therefore, ineffective. In the book Total Life Coaching, authors Williams & Thomas suggest that when people only communicate out of need, their need speaks louder than their words. This results in an imbalance between verbal and non-verbal expressions. (Not good.)

TRY THIS: Tell the truth, tell it all and tell it now. Otherwise people will fill in the gaps with their own worse case scenarios. Even if that means saying, “Steve, I have no answer for you right now, so I promise to let you know by the end of the day.” This reinforces others’ involvement in the decision-making process. What’s more, the speed of the response IS the response.

Ultimately, if you learn to approach people when they don’t have problems, they’ll be more likely to approach you when they DO have problems. By responding with early intervention, you solve small problems before they snowball into big problems. What are you turning your problems into? How could you communicate with this person despite your lack of need to do so? And how much less stress would your body feel if you just told the truth, right now?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you become the most approachable employee in your organization?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for Turning Approachability into PROFIT-ability,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on making a name for yourself!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

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Watch the original video on NametagTV!

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What question do you help your clients answer?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For a list called, “99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren’t One,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

The world’s FIRST two-in-one, flip-flop book!

Buy Scott’s comprehensive marketing guidebook on Amazon.com and learn how to GET noticed, GET remembered and GET business!

Scott: Thanks for sitting down with me today, Scott.
Scott: No problem.

Scott: OK, so, first of all, do you just write out and stick on a new nametag every day?
Scott: Every few months I sit down and write out about a hundred in advance, then just take one whenever I need it.

Scott: Do you reuse your nametags?
Scott: Unless I accidentally splash soy sauce on it, I’ll remove the nametag from one shirt and stick it on another. And I reuse whenever possible so I’m not wasting too much paper.

Scott: Really? Have you been the target of environmentalists who claimed you were killing the rain forests by wearing too many nametags?
Scott: Not yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

Scott: Do you hand write each nametag?
Scott: Absolutely. Hecho de mano con amor.

Scott: Oh, um, I don’t speak French.
Scott: Sorry. That means, “Made by hand with love.”

Scott: Got it. And I noticed that every nametag is white with a red border and blue writing. Any reason behind that?
Scott: Actually, that’s the one technical element of nametagging that I have absolutely no explanation, philosophy or blog post to support. I just think it looks nice.

Scott: So, it’s not a patriotic thing?
Scott: Not really. I think the fact that I made an entire career out of wearing a nametag is more patriotic that the colors of said nametag. God bless America.

Scott: Have you ever thought about just getting a few permanent, higher quality nametags?
Scott: Yes. And there IS a philosophy behind why I choose NOT to go that route. I don’t feel like explaining it, so you can read it here.

Scott: OK, so, what are the most common reactions to your nametag?
Scott: In my first book, I broke it down into five categories:

o 35% of the people ask a question, i.e., “What’s with the nametag?”
o 30% of the people say hello, i.e., “Hey Scott!”
o 20% of the people crack a joke, i.e., “So, is that so you don’t forget who you are?”
o 10% of the people think I’m an employee, “Excuse me, Scott, but do these panties come in crotchless?”
o 5% of the people lash out, i.e., “Hey dumbass, you’re still wearing your nametag!”

Scott: And then, when people ask you about your nametag, what do you say?
Scott: Four simple words: “I always wear it.”

Scott: How do people usually respond to that answer?
Scott: There are only two possible responses. Two personality types, really: The Lovers and The Haters. 10% of the people (The Haters) will say, “That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard in my life.” And then 90% of the people (The Lovers) will say, “That’s the coolest idea I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Scott: Do you ever get halfway down the street and realize you’ve forgotten to put on your nametag?
Scott: About once a month. Come on – I’m human.

Scott: What happens if you lose your nametag, someone peels it off or it gets ripped or dirty?
Scott: I carry about ten pre-written spares in my wallet at all times, plus another ten blank nametags just in case somebody asks for one.

Scott: Do people really ask for them?
Scott: All the time. And you know, it’s funny. I imagine that when I’m a Grampa, nametags will become my version of butterscotch candy. “Hey Grampa Scott! Can we have nametags? Huh? Can we? Can we?” I mean, I know that’s a long way away since I’m only 29 right now, but I am looking forward to the Old Me. I think it’ll work out well since everyone hates butterscotch.

Scott: So, does that mean your wallet is super thick?
Scott: Yeah. Like, Constanza thick. I have back problems.

Scott: OK, so, when people ask for nametags – and then you pull one out of your wallet – do people ever follow through and put it on?
Scott: Actually, that’s the funny part. Only about 50% the people put on the nametag they asked for. Probably because they didn’t expect me have one in my wallet. It’s pretty funny. I like calling people’s bluffs.

Scott: So, you’re a gambling man?
Scott: No. Gambling is a waste of money and an exercise in stupidity. Deniro said it best in Casino: “The more they play, the more they lose. In the end, we get it all.”

Scott: How many nametags have you used in total?
Scott: That’s an impossible number to calculate because I reuse so many of them. Still, if I had to guess, after 3,000+ days, I’ve probably written out about 10,000 “Scott” nametags. That’s for me, personally. But if you factor in all the nametags I’ve used for non-Scott reasons (audience exercises, mailing labels, vandalism) I’d probably tack on another 10,000 or so.

Scott: Is there a specific brand of nametags you use?
Scott: On my 21st birthday (one year into the nametag journey) my friend Kristen bought me a pack of MACO NB-264 Red Border Adhesive Badges. They’ve been my standard every since. They stick to everything. They never peel off. They feel smooth like fax paper and rarely fade. They’re the best on the market, and believe me, I’ve tried them all.

Scott: How much money a month do you spend on nametags?
Scott: $0.00

Scott: So then, does the nametag company sponsor you?
Scott: Funny story. When I was in college I used to write regular letters to MACO, alerting them about my upcoming book. (You know, Andy Dufregne style.) Sadly, I never heard back from them. So, when I did my first ever interview – on CNN Headline News, January 13th, 2003 – I mentioned MACO’s name and gave them a fantastic endorsement – then sent a copy of that interview to their marketing department. Two weeks later, 10,000 nametags were delivered to my front door. Ever since then, I’ve never run out.

Scott: Do you think everyone should wear nametags?
Scott: All the time, no. More often, yes. I actually wrote a detailed prediction about what the world would look like if everybody was required to wear nametags in the future. You can read it here.

Scott: What would have happened if the woman you fell in love with didn’t like you (or didn’t LET you) wear a nametag?
Scott: Then I would break up with her.

Scott: For shizzle?
Scott: My nizzle. Yep. Rejecting the nametag = Rejecting me as a person. Think about it: Would YOU want to marry someone who didn’t accept you? No way! Now, I will say that if she didn’t like the nametag, I’d still be cool with that. No hard feelings. And I’d respect her opinion of me. But we clearly wouldn’t be able to get married.

Scott: Wow. I hope that doesn’t narrow the partner pool down too much…
Scott: It won’t. That’s one of the coolest (and most unexpected) things about wearing a nametag 24-7. It’s a filter. A walking Rorschach Test. An immediate indicator of someone’s reaction to my Truth. So, after nine, years and tens of thousands of encounters, I’ve discovered that how someone reacts to my nametag tells me almost everything I need to know about that person. Namely, whether or not we will get along, much less get hitched.

Scott: So, does that mean you will you wear a nametag during your wedding?
Scott: Damn right.

Scott: Will you make your bride-to-be to wear a nametag during your wedding?
Scott: Well, I’m off the market now. And my future wife drives a pink car. She doesn’t need a nametag.

Scott: Will you require your kids to wear nametags?
Scott: Not unless they want to get made fun of, beat up, stared at and emotionally/physically/ psychological tortured every day of their lives.

Scott: What would cause you stop wearing a nametag?
Scott: If gangsters kidnapped my family and the ransom was “never wearing a nametag again,” I guess I would probably take it off. Fortunately, I have a tattoo, and nobody can take THAT off.

Actually, wait, I take that back. I’m sure the gangsters would torture me in some way that would involve removing my tattoo with a belt sander. Damn it. Well, in that case, I guess I’d be done wearing nametags if that happened. And you know, I guess I’d be cool with that. Fortunately, my nametag merely identifies me – it doesn’t DEFINE me. “You can steal my nametag but you’ll never steal my truth,” I like to say. Crap. I hope my answer to this question didn’t just give some terrorist any ideas…

Scott: Wait, isn’t that a line from “Pride” by U2?
Scott: Close. Their lyric is, “They took your life; they’ll never take your pride.”

Scott: Right. Man that’s a great song.
Scott: I know. You should hear their new album. It kicks ass.

Scott: Good call. I’ll check it out on ITunes.
Scott: Actually, I already downloaded it for us.

Scott: Thanks.
Scott: Word.

Scott: OK, so, what happens on those days where you don’t feel like being friendly? Do you still wear your nametag?
Scott: Yeah, I just don’t leave the house. As Mr. Miyagi once said, “The best way to block a punch is to not be there.”

Scott: How did you friends and family first react when you started wearing your nametag nine years ago?
Scott: My friends hated it. My teachers loved it. My parents thought it was cool. My Grampa thought – that I thought – he was getting Alzheimer’s. That was pretty funny. But eventually, most people got used to it. Especially my friends who slowly realized that my nametag could help them pick up chicks.

Scott: Really? How?
Scott: Well, in college, girls would just come up and start talking to me. Really cute ones, too. It was weird, yet awesome. And usually what would happen is, after about five minutes of realizing that I was a total dork and basically out of my goddamn mind, right before the girl would lose interest, I’d go grab one of my more handsome friends and say, “Here, you talk to Wade. I’m going to go get a refill on my ice water. Nice talkin to ya!”

Scott: So, wearing a nametag didn’t actually help YOU get any dates?
Scott: One time in my life I ended up dating a girl for about four months as a direct result of a nametag-related interaction. Of course, she ended up being an alcoholic nymphomaniac, so, obviously, THAT ended awkwardly. Other than that, that’s about all the luck I had. When it came to dating, I learned that I just wasn’t closer. It’s not in my blood. I’m more of an opener. My brother’s the closer in the family.

Scott: Do you ever change the name on your nametag?
Scott: Once a year on Halloween. It’s my favorite day of the year because for once, I don’t have to be myself. So, whatever my costume is, I write my nametag to reflect that. For example, in 2008 I went as Texas Oil Tycoon Dalton Vaughn, Jr.

Scott: OK, one final question and then I’ll let you go.
Scott: Thank God. MAN you ask a lot of questions.

Scott: I know. That’s kind of my thing.
Scott: It’s cool. I’m the same way.

Scott: So, it’s been nine years now. 3,000+ days. You’ve just finished your eighth book. You’ve won awards, been featured in endless media outlets and continue to grow your business in diverse, creative and exciting ways. Ultimately, you have made a difference in the lives of (potentially) millions of people. What do you think about all this?
Scott: I think there is no logical reason why any of this should be happening to me. Seriously. It makes zero sense. Still, it IS happening to me, and it’s BEEN happening to me in a successful and consistent way for a long time now. So I must be doing something right. As such, the only conclusion I can come up with is: Logic is overrated. Irrationality? That’s the secret. Or, maybe another way to put it is, “Don’t accept other people’s rationality.” Yeah. I like that. Because in my experience, the more rules you are to exception to, the more successful you will become.

Scott: Wow. That bears repeating: “The more rules you are to exception to, the more successful you will become.”
Scott: I know. That was a good one. I should go Tweet that.

Scott: Actually, I just did.
Scott: Jerk.

Scott: Takes one to know one.
Scott: I know you are but what am I?

Scott: Wait, you?
Scott: No, putz. Me.

Scott: Huh?
Scott: I accept your apology.

Scott: What?
Scott: You’re welcome.

Scott: OK. My head hurts.
Scott: So does mine.

Scott: This interview is over.
Scott: You started it.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How long did it take you to realize this blog post was my April Fool’s joke?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “101 Life Lessons Learned from Wearing a Nametag 24-7,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

When you label, you judge.
When you judge, you react.
When you react, you’re unconscious.

And being unconscious is unhealthy.

It’s also unapproachable. And if you hold ANY form of leadership position, this is a dangerous place to be.

Here’s a list of five practices for judging less and accepting more…

1. Minimize emotional reactivity. The word “emotion” comes from the Latin emotere, which means, “To disturb.”

Yep. This TOTALLY makes sense.

Emotional Reactivity is contagious, which increases conversational tension.
Emotional Reactivity creates defensiveness, which decreases the likelihood of someone opening up further.

So, if you’re freaking out about something, odds are, the other person isn’t very relaxed. What is this emotion preventing you from learning?

2. Begin without judgment. That means using judgment-free, label-free language.

In the words of Eckhart Tolle, “When you look at it or hold it and let it be without imposing a label on it, its essence silently communicates itself to you and reflects your own essence back to you.”

How would you treat people if you weren’t trying so hard to change them?

3. Listen to who you are before responding. An audience member of mine suggested this during a recent workshop. Blew the entire group away.

What a concept! Can you imagine how honest, how authentic and how approachable people would be if they remembered to do this in their conversations? Man. Listen to who you are before responding. It bears repeating. Are you listening to yourself first?

4. Understand people better. It starts with maintaining an attitude of curiosity. That means exploration, not accusation; fascination, not frustration. Becoming insanely interested in why people do and say what they do and say.

Then, it continues with patient listening. That means questioning. That means pausing. That means listening (and hearing) people’s language patterns and conversational tendencies.

Finally, it means clarifying. Asking people if what you’ve interpreted is what they meant to communicate. Why are you listening?

5. Ignore people’s titles. President? CFO? Receptionist? Janitor? Who the hell cares! The only label people should ever be called by is their name. Because they’re a human being. That’s it.

Titles alienate people. Titles are overrated. Next time someone asks you something like, “So then, are you a Buddhist?” reply with, “Nope, I’m a human!” What unnecessary title is preventing people from getting to know the REAL you?

REMEMBER: Less judging; more accepting.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What is preventing you from attending to this person objectively?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

The secret to growing bigger ears is listening for the intangible forces behind people’s physical expressions.

So, as you sit down to listen to your employee, customer or spouse, I want you think of yourself as an archaeologist. Prepare yourself to dig deep. And be on the lookout for the four intangible forces of listening:

1. THEIR CORE.
a. Listen for what they value. Something they stand for.
b. Listen for the appearance of vision and purpose. Something that aligns them.
c. Listen for what makes issues important in their lives. Something that drives them.

SO, WONDER: What is this person (really) committed to, after all?
SO, WONDER: What values are at work here?

2. THEIR PASSIONS.
a. Listen for what someone treasures. Something they’d die for.
b. Listen for what makes them come alive. Something that burns deep inside.
c. Listen for what makes them withdraw. Something that holds them back.

SO, WONDER: What is at work here?
SO, WONDER: What is emerging now?

3. THEIR EVASIONS.
a. Listen for resistance. Something they back away from.
b. Listen for avoidance. Something they don’t want to deal with.
c. Listen for hesitation. Something they’re uncertain about.

SO, WONDER: Where is it this person doesn’t want to go?
SO, WONDER: What is it the person doesn’t want to deal with?

4. THEIR DANGERS.
a. Listen for fear. Something that terrifies them.
b. Listen for self-sabotage. Something they unconsciously inflict upon themselves.
c. Listen for imbalance. Something that throws them out of whack.

SO, WONDER: What message was sent but not spoken?
SO, WONDER: What is this person’s immediate experience?

5. THEIR GAPS.
a. Listen for cognitive dissonance. Something that divides them.
b. Listen for incongruity. Something that doesn’t match up.
c. Listen for contradiction. Something that seems inconsistent.

SO, WONDER: What disconnect could you help this person realize?
SO, WONDER: What gap can you help this person bridge?

OK, Indiana. Now that you’ve entered the conversation with curiosity and noticed people’s intangibles tendencies, the next step is to articulate what’s going on.

That means sniffing out falsehoods.
That means helping them connect the dots.
That means telling them what you see them doing.
That means naming things out loud to realign with them.
That means illuminating truth and helping them recognize it.
That means noticing the nuances they haven’t brought into their consciousness yet.

Here are four Phrases That Payses to help verbalize your observations in a curious, objective and non-threatening manner:

1. “I have an observation.” Calling your comment an observation makes it neutral. You simply say what you see. Focusing on the behavior, not the person. The best part is, nobody can dispute it because it’s completely subjective.

2. “My intuition tells me that…” By explaining that you “sense” something – in your gut, in your heart, in your soul – your comment immediately becomes neutral and irrefutable. What’s more, speaking from intuition shows that you’re truly listening with your heart and from your core.

3. “That statement doesn’t sound consistent with your values.” The key here is to focus on the statement, not the person who made it. Doing so will automatically cause someone to stop, recognize their cognitive dissonance and reassess their behavior.

4. “I’m curious about that line of thinking…” This statement is observational and focused on the thought, not the thinker. Also, this language reinforces the initial goal of “entering the conversation with curiosity.”

REMEMBER: Listening is Archaeology.

It’s about entering the conversation with curiosity.
It’s about noticing people’s intangible tendencies.
It’s about excavating and illuminating truth.

Put on your Fedora and start digging.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you uncover priceless treasure in the archaeological dig known as listening?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “53 Not So Obvious Patterns Listeners Need to Listen For,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

If they can’t come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott’s new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you an “idea person” or an “execution person”?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “24 Ways to Out GROW Your Competition,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.

Watch The Nametag Guy in action here!

How many blog posts did you write last month?

Answer: Not enough.

Blogging (might) be, like, the greatest thing to happen to the Internet since … the Internet.

I’ve been posting since 2003, and as a writer, speaker, coach and entrepreneur, here’s what I’ve discovered:

Blogging is the single most effective marketing tool for eradicating anonymity.

Let’s explore five secrets to make sure YOUR blog starts bringing in BIG bucks.

1. Themes work. Let’s begin with some thematic elements of your blog. Because the key is to make sure all of your posts fall under the umbrella of your theme. So, before you even begin posting, ask yourself the following question:

If everybody who read my blog did exactly what I said, what would the world look like?

This might be the most important question you could ask because the answers build a foundation – a school of thought or a philosophy – to which all of your future blog posts will adhere.

SUGGESTION: On your blog design template, include a section where your readers can learn about your personal philosophy. This will assure that each person who comes to your blog will know exactly what it – and YOU – are all about, as soon as they arrive. What’s your philosophy?

2. Consistency wins. Consistency is integrity. Consistency reinforces reliability. Consistency earns trust. And consistency is the hallmark of successful branding.

So, don’t start a blog just for the sake of starting a blog, or because your friends are doing it, or because you feel it it’s the right thing to do. You actually need to COMMIT and stay with it.

SECRET: If you’re going to blog, blog every day.

After all, it IS a marketing tool. And marketing is an activity you need to do every day. Think of it this way: You wouldn’t run one newspaper ad on a random Tuesday and never advertise again. You’d do it consistently because marketing is about repeat impressions. How often are you posting on YOUR blog?

3. Content is everything. Content is king. Content validates credibility. Content delivers value. Content drives action. Content pulls instead of pushes. Content leads to WEALTH.

Got the point?

BIG HINT: Don’t just post links, pictures, stories or talk about what you ate for breakfast this morning. I’m talking about valuable, juicy, helpful, solid CONTENT.

Oh, and here’s the best part – if your content is GOOD, it starts to replace things. Content replaces selling. Content replaces agents. Content replaces pitching. Content replaces advertising. Content replaces cold calling. How hot is YOUR body of work?

4. Hone your voice. The best blogs on the web are the ones that talk directly to the reader. So, keep it personal. Ask questions. Write conversationally. And don’t be afraid to modify your writing style to a more informal nature.

SECRET: If you write like you talk, people will listen.

Remember, the whole point of publishing a blog is to create community. To create fans. And if you want to do that effectively, you must do so on a one-on-one basis. How conversational and comfortable is the voice of YOUR blog?

5. Self-Promote Strategically. Sure, it’s YOUR blog. It’s YOUR content and YOUR philosophy. But don’t lose sight of what your blog is for. It’s about value. It’s about community. And it’s about sharing – FIRST.

Now, of course, you should self-promote. But for now, I want you to ask yourself the following question:

Does your blog give the impression of VALUE or VANITY in the eyes of your reader?

Hopefully the latter! Value, value and value! That’s the one word too many bloggers overlook.

REMEMBER: Blogging is the single most effective marketing tool for eradicating anonymity.

Follow these basic building blocks, you’ll turn your blog into a BANK.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How many blog posts did you write last week?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “72 Ways to Take Your Blog from Anonymous to Award-Winning,” send an email to me and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on branding success!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

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Today we’re going to continue exploring practices to help you become known as the most approachable person in your organization. (If you haven’t read Part 1 of this series, you can do so here.)

Whether you’re an office professional, middle manager, C-level executive or part of the overnight cleaning crew, executing these strategies will accomplish three goals:

(1) Boost the net worth of your human capital, (2) Attract MORE attention, MORE people and MORE opportunities into your world, and (3) Reduce the possibility that your company will kick your butt to the curb in this crappy economy.

1. Boost your communication self-awareness. Sure, YOU think you’re approachable. And maybe you are. But it doesn’t matter what you think. It matters what other people remember. It matters what other people feel. And it matters what other people tell their friends, blog and tweet about. So, view performance feedback as a learning opportunity to find out where you suck.

Otherwise you’ll be the last one to find out how you’re doing. Otherwise you’ll end up like Michael Scott on The Office, a branch manager who is completely unaware of how moronic he really is.

Like the time he hosted a dinner party for his employees and referred to the wine as having “An oaky afterbirth.” Good lord. No self-awareness whatsoever. Are you approachable, but not perceived as being approachable? Are you approachable, but not remembered as being approachable? And when you meet people, is your first thought about what they think of you or how you can make them more comfortable?

2. Choose to attend differently to people. Not “type.” Not “deal with.” Not “tolerate.” Not “manipulate.” Attend. This word comes from the French atendre, which means, “to direct one’s mind or energies.” Wow. Sounds so much friendlier. More approachable. More relaxing. Less judgmental and suspicious, too.

TRY THIS: Dance in the moment. Ask yourself how you could attend differently to this person. Stop putting people in predictable little boxes with handy little labels that read, “introvert” or “right brained” or “potential serial killer.”

Get to know people for who they really are; not what others have haphazardly labeled them as. You never know. They might turn out to be pretty cool after all. Serial killers have feelings too, you know. Does this represent a temporary state of mind or a permanent state of being? What character qualities do I admire in them? And what is the hidden treasure inside this person that maybe others don’t see?

3. Learn to be open to people you don’t approve of. I’m not accusing you of being a finger-wagging monument of judgment. Still, each of us needs to confront our prejudices and honestly ask, “What type of people am I offended by?” Remember: The awareness of your intolerance is the first step to overcoming it.

My challenge to you is to learn how to play two games: (1) “Let’s See How Many People I Can Talk To Today That I Don’t Approve Of,” and (2) “How Much Would I Have To Learn About These People To Reverse My Disapproval Of Them?” Sure, it sounds kind of silly. But that’s the point.

This reminds me of Herbert Leff’s book, Playful Perception; where he suggests you regard whatever you’re doing as a game. It adds a childlike sense of playfulness and adventure to whatever you’re engaged in. What invisible walls have you built? What is preventing you from, or making it hard for you to be open TO this person? What values do you hold that could influence your response to this person?

4. Expand your openness to learning from others. Here’s a cool little routine I’ve been practicing for many years. Not only does it demonstrate openness to learning form others; it also makes people feel essential. Not just important and valued – essential.

After a lunch conversation, engaging phone call or even a round of golf with a customer, employee, whatever, send that person an email with the subject line, “11 Things I Learned from You Today.” Recap some of the best “keepers” from your conversation.

It shows you listened, it shows you care and it shows you’re approachable enough to learn from anybody, anytime, anywhere. How vulnerable are YOU willing to be? How, specifically, do show others that they’ve been listened to? And what would happen to your storehouse of wisdom if you allowed everyone you came in contact with to mentor you?

5. Allow people to experience that they can change your mind. Defensiveness is defined as “the attempt to prevent new ideas from entering into your world.” This, of course, is dangerous, as you aren’t as smart as you think you is.

My suggestion is to (yikes!) practice a little vulnerability. Use Phrases That Payses like, “I can’t believe that never occurred to me,” “Actually, I take back what I said,” and “You know, after thinking about it, you’ve convinced me to change my position on that issue!”

REMEMBER: Resist putting yourself into a position where you think you know all the answers. You need to release your current knowledge to take in new information.

The cool part is, when people see that they can change your mind, they’ll become more likely to listen to you and, as a result, more open to changing THEIR minds. How certain are you? Which of your ideas are guarded by arrogance? And how would you treat people if you weren’t working so hard to prove them wrong?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you become the most approachable employee in your organization?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Rapid-Fire Strategies for Turning Approachability into PROFIT-ability,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Who’s quoting YOU?

Check out Scott’s Online Quotation Database for a bite-sized education on making a name for yourself!

www.stuffscottsaid.com.

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1. Be silently attentive. You need to be the kindergartner during story time that doesn’t fidget, play or pick his nose. You need to be the well-behaved dog with a tilted head, a wagging tail and a look of “OH BOY! OH BOY!” awaiting the next command from his owner.

When you create, you sit there with your hands folded in your lap, waiting for instruction and inspiration. Every single day. A quiet, alert witness, attending to the stream of creative thought that floods your veins. Are you growing creative ears?

2. Chase. Pursue words and ideas that haunt you and that you don’t understand. Amplify your deepest curiosities. Then, when you FINALLY catch up with them, you will “get” what they’re supposed to mean. But only if you keep running. What ideas are you chasing?

3. Chronological Creativity. Once you pluck the idea, you plant it like a seed. Then, by filing it away into your brain and (hopefully) on paper, it’s available for harvesting when the time is right.

Then, you come back to it periodically, adding a word or two, subtracting a phrase or three, here and there. Spicing it up. Giving it some sunlight. Watering it with the creative nutrients it needs to eventually blossom. Commencing artistic photosynthesis. Are you a creative farmer?

4. Concentrate white capturing. After observation, you follow the same process with capturing. You write ONE thing. Some line. Or sentence. Or phrase. Or truth. And then you just STARE. Until you see something. Until some image, some related idea comes forth.

Like one of those Magic Eye posters that starts out looking like a bunch of triangles, but eventually looks like a schooner. Are you willing to stare into a vortex of nothingness for fifteen minutes until a speck of creative gold dust finally surfaces?

5. Creativity is cooking. Simmering. Mixing. You mold knead, rework and edit, walking away periodically to your ideas simmer. And each time you do so, you return with a fresh perspective. You also notice that your ideas have expanded. Like a pizza crust in which the yeast has risen, your thoughts have organically grown independently of you.

So, now it’s time to come back and attend to them. Remember: Writing is a coalescence of related fragments. Concocting a potion. Crafting a mosaic of words, phrases and sentences. What are you cooking up?

6. Emotional Transference. You’re writing, and before you know it, as one emotion comes out, ALL your emotions come out. Related or not. Anger hitches a ride with jealousy. Sadness mooches on the coattails of fear. Annoyance hangs on to the bumper of apathy. One bleeds into another.

And I say: The more the better. Just let ‘em out or else they’ll find a home somewhere in your body. Ouch. What unexpected emotion does your writing release?

7. Enter the flow and disappear. You’re so deep, so engrossed, that you lose track of time. You forget things, like lunch. Or that you had a meeting with your friend Karen. Or that you spilled your mug of chamomile tea all over your leg like three hours ago. Or that you have a sprained ankle. (Which ankle was it again?)

It’s just like when you’ve been jamming along to a Black Keys song for sixteen minutes and eventually look down at your strings only to realize they’re caked with blood. As Marvin Bell says, “You’re in flow when you don’t know you’re in pain.” So, enhance the trance. The goal is to forget yourself, yet be aware OF yourself. Psychologically stopping the movement of time. When was the last time you got lost?

8. Just react. Follow your curiosity. Scratch what itches. Respond to your passion by writing in the direction of what shakes you. Allow your essence to lead you and then render the contours of your inner landscape. What are you reacting to?

9. Make multiple impressions. Start by capturing. Get your initial impression of an idea down on paper. Even if it sucks, even if it doesn’t make sense, even if there are holes in its logic. Then, come back to it later and see how it’s different. It might be the idea that’s different; it might be YOU that’s different; it might be the world that’s different.

Either way, when you make your second and third and fourth impressions, the idea grows. It gets richer and more legitimate. But only if you’re patient. How often are you returning TO and enhancing the complexity OF your ideas?

10. Open a vein. Sit down at the page, grab a razor, and cut that beeyoch open. Then, let it bleed onto the page until there is nothing left. Empty yourself of yourself. Let go of your writing. Let it unfold. Release the music that is within you. Crack your inner world open and closely monitor that which oozes out.

Do so until every thought, every emotion and every idea has been liberated. Until you’re woozy and tired. Until you’re anemic and diabetic. Make your readers suspect that Dracula stopped by your office to chomp a hunk out of your neck. That’s how much blood we’re talking about. Do you write with your pen dipped in your own blood?

11. Stillness works. When you hold yourself in a state of alertness, the world quiets down. Your breathing stabilizes. You blood pressure decreases. Then, within that calmness, beauty and truth begin to appear. And eventually, you don’t just start to HEAR things; you start to FEEL things.

These valuable nudges from your unconscious that tug at your coat tails. Pssst! Over here! They say. And as you turn your head, you being to channel that overflowing energy into the rivulets that feed into your personal creative ocean. In breath: Experiences. Out breath: Art. How’s YOUR breathing?

12. Unconscious integration. Defined by yours truly as, “When the natural geometry of your writing self-organizes and distributes without cognitive effort.” You let your mind unconsciously churn away. Laying out all these scraps, these ideas and these modules, as pieces to a jigsaw puzzle, but NOT knowing what the final picture looks like on the front of the box.

Eventually, if your mind has been properly trained and you TRUST it, every once in a while, something will click. Some amazing idea will just spring into your mind. It will only seem to be instantaneous, when in reality it’s taken days, weeks, months, maybe even YEARS of unconscious integration to come together. What puzzle are you not aware you’re putting together?

13. Write THROUGH things. Just like in yoga when you breathe THROUGH a difficult posture, in life you WRITE through a difficult situation. You catalyze your discontent. You slug it out.

You “get behind the mule in the morning and plow,” as Tom Waits sings on his killer record, Mule Variations. You trudge through even your darkest days using your pen as your pickaxe, knowing that eventually, you’ll come out on the other side. Big time. Andy Dufresne style. What gifts and hidden assets lie hidden in your seeming impediments?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you transforming write into wealth?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “26 Ways to Out BRAND Your Competitors,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Nobody seeing YOUR name anywhere?

Bummer. Perhaps my monthly coaching program would help.

Rent Scott’s Brain today!

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