Before today’s post gets under way, I just wanted to give a quick shout to all of the haters who posted their uplifting comments (anonymously, of course) on Friday’s post.
I’ve been sick lately, so that really cheered me up! Thanks guys!

Anyhoo…

The first job I had out of college was a bartender. It wasn’t exactly my number one career choice, but I needed money (fast!) to pay for the production of my first book.

Besides, how hard could bartending be, right?

Well, let me tell you how terrible I was: in addition to such blunders as ‘dropping chunks of cork into a customer’s Merlot’ and ‘accidentally shattering four pint glasses in front of the District Manager,’ I was SO bad, that I actually had to consult the Mix Manual to find out what was in a Jack & Coke.

Which made me pretty much the worst bartender in the history of bartenders.

Still, every night I slaved away. And whether I was hurrying around trying to serve drunken customers or frustratingly scraping ABC gum off the underside of the bar, there was only one thought running through my mind:

What the hell am I doing here?! I’ve GOT to get this book done…

I lasted six weeks. (I guess the manager made his first mistake when he hired a bartender who didn’t drink!) And I remember during my exit interview, Clyde said, ‘Look Scott, it’s just not working out. I’m sure you’ll go on to bigger and better things.’

He was wrong.

Two months later I started my second job out of college as a floor salesman at a discount furniture store. Worst job I ever had in my life. Complaining customers. Pain in ass boss. No money. Killed my lower back.

I lasted a year. And whether I was desperately attempting to sell a $500 loveseat to a family with three crying children or hiding in the men’s bathroom pretending to have a diarrhea so I wouldn’t have to work, there was only one thought I running through my mind:

What the hell am I doing here?! I just want to go home and check my email…

Then, in the summer of 2003, two things happened:

1) I quit my job at the furniture store.
2) I decided to pursue writing books and giving speeches full time.

Unfortunately, I learned that there is VERY little money in this industry when you first start out. Especially if:

• You’re 23 years old
• You have no work experience
• You’re just some guy who walks around wearing a nametag 24-7 to make people friendlier

So, while pursuing my writing/speaking career full time, I took a nights/weekends position as a valet parker at the Ritz Carlton.

This job wasn’t nearly as bad as bartending or slinging couches: the money was good, the networking opportunities were excellent and Ritz Carlton ended up being an awesome company to work for.

I lasted two years. (Maybe it would’ve helped if I knew how to drive stick!) Still, I sucked it up; whether I was running full speed for two straight hours during an 80-car wedding in the 105-degree heat, or standing by the lobby door until 2 AM layered in every piece of clothing I had during the biting cold of a St. Louis January.

And the funny thing is, just like every other job I’d held since college, that same thought kept running through my mind:

What the hell am I doing here?! I should be on the phones trying to book speeches…

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I knew that every minute I’d spent mixing drinks, selling couches or parking cars was robbing me of:

• My true talent
• Chances to further my career
• Time needed to grow my business
• Opportunities to make a name for myself

So, I made a crucial decision. A decision that everyone, at some point in their career, needs to make:

Remove what robs you, embrace what excites you.

And I never looked back. Best professional decision I ever made.

Look: be fair to yourself. Be fair to your talents and gifts. Remove what robs you.

And if you ever find yourself shaking your head and saying, ‘What the hell am I doing here?!’

…then you’re on the right track.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What job used to rob you?

Milton Berle said, “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”

Horatio Alger said, “Luck happens to those who greatly increase the chances of its occurrence.”

This brings up an important question: Does opportunity only knock once?

I used to think so. Because that’s what I’d always been told. By the media, by my friends, by my teachers, by everyone.

You only get one shot.
You’ll never get a second chance.
Opportunity only knocks once.

Then, after college, I started to get lucky. Like, all the time. Lucky with people. Lucky with business. Lucky with life.

My new neighbor became my best friend.
I landed huge interviews on CNN and NBC.
I encountered complete strangers who changed my life.
I experienced moments of online serendipity that drove millions of people to my website.

Amazing stuff just started happening to me. And I thought, Man, I’m really lucking out!

Then I read somewhere that L.U.C.K was an acronym for ‘Laboring Under Correct Knowledge.’

And I realized something: it’s not that opportunity only knocks once. It knocks all the time. Probably every day. The problem is: people don’t listen. Sure, they might hear it, but they don’t take action.

Maybe because they’re too busy.
Maybe because they think it’s a fluke.
Maybe because they think they’re not lucky.
Maybe because they don’t think it’ll be worth answering.

In other words, pessimism.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t hope for opportunity – I expect it. Every day. Not because I deserve it, but because I’ve learned how to magnetize and leverage it. In fact, I’d say that I’m the luckiest person I know. And I think I can help you be the same:

6 Steps To Becoming The Luckiest Person You Know

1. Affirm. Every morning, affirm to yourself that great things are going to happen to you today. That you’re going to experience incredible personal and professional opportunities. That you will be a magnet for cool stuff and people.

2. Beware. Always be on the lookout for potential opportunities. Keep your eyes and ears open. Think into the future and ask, ‘What could this lead to?’

3. Celebrate. Whenever one of those ‘lucky’ incidents happens, give thanks. Be excited that you proved yourself right. And say to yourself, I knew this was going to happen!

4. Documentation. Write them down. Keep track of your moments in an Opportunity Journal. You might try doing this with a partner with whom you can share your mutual opportunities.

5. Evaluate. Look for trends. Figure out what you did right. Figure out what correct knowledge you were laboring under.

6. Frequency. If opportunity already knocked once, invite it back. I’m sure it would love to stop by again.

John Maxwell was right: ‘Opportunity always takes NOW for an answer.’

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Who’s the luckiest person you know?

The other day my friend Jess asked me, ‘How did you learn so much at such a young age?’

And I realized something: I get that question a lot.

Now, while I’m not claiming to be brilliant, nor am I claiming to be some sort of genius, I DID do some serious thinking on my answer(s) to that question.

So, here’s (yet another) one of my ridiculously long lists:38 Ways to Speed Up Your Learning Curve, Even If You’re Not Old Enough to Rent a Car

1. Develop an attitude of Life Long Learning.

2. Whatever industry you work in, whatever area of expertise you seek to master, read every single book ever written about it. I remember early in my career, one of my mentors said, ‘You don’t have the ‘right to write’ a book on a certain topic unless you’ve read every other book on that topic.’ Well, OK then.

3. So, read two of those books every week. You should be done in about a year.

4. Buy lunches for Big Shots in your industry. Ask them great questions. Take even greater notes. Then compile all of your notes into one main document that you update and review weekly.

5. Buy lunches for Non-Big Shots in your industry, then repeat everything I just said #4.

6. Go to every personal development/motivational seminar that comes through town.

7. The best swimmers are always in the pool. Figure out where you pool is, then go swimming every single day.

8. PRACTICE. Larry Bird shot 100 free throws a day. What are you going to do?

9. Write. Write. Write. Writing is the basis of all wealth. Write down everything you learn or experience. Call it a journal, a blog, a diary, whatever. Write everything down. If you don’t write it down, it never happened. (Thanks for that one, Greg Peters.)

10. Regularly read books about creativity, creative thinking, creative people, creative ideas, etc.

11. Screw up. A lot.

12. Get more than one mentor. Hell, get ten of ‘em!

13. Did I say, ‘write’ already? I think so. But in the words of Mr. Kinney, my freshman history teacher, ‘You don’t know it unless you can write it.’

14. Ask people, ‘What mistakes did you make when you were starting out?’

15. Learn something new each day. Yes, an old cliché. But here’s the catch: start a Learnal. Not a Journal. A Learnal. A daily journal of things you learned. Try that for a month and you’ll be amazed at how much smarter you’ve become!

16. Go to Borders once a month. Grab about fifty or so books that look interesting. Sit down with a big fat legal pad. Read through the books and take notes for a few hours. (You should probably buy a hot chocolate or something, so you don’t feel like you’re stealing.)

17. Two words: MASTERMIND-GROUP.

18. Three words: MASTER-MIND-GROUP!!!

19. Find out where you suck.

20. Learn how to think. Sure, it sounds silly. I know you already know how to think! But there are dozens, if not hundreds of resources that will TRAIN YOUR MIND, i.e., when you learn to think laterally, or in a non-linear fashion. Do this stuff and you will learn a LOT more. About yourself. About business. About life.

21. Watch the Apprentice. God I love that show.

22. Just start doing it. (Whatever ‘it’ is) Playing guitar. Designing websites. Writing books. Just get crackin’. Who cares if you suck? START NOW. Starting = learning.

23. Google. It’s the greatest noun (and verb) in the world. Google everything. Your own name. Your boss. Your company. Your ex-girlfriends. Your industry. Your competition. Your customers. Google EVERYTHING. Frequently.

24. Carefully watch the people who are AMAZING at doing what you ultimately want to do.

25. Ask dumb questions.

26. Speaking of dumb, don’t hesitate to read any of the ‘For Dummies’ books. Trust me, reading those books won’t make you a dummy, it’ll make you a smarty.

27. Play with people who are better than you.

28. Learning comes from discomfort. So, celebrate the offbeat. Cherish uncertain ground. Travel without plans. Surrender your agendas.

29. How many times did you exercise your body last week? OK. Cool. Now: How many times did you exercise your MIND last week? Thought so. Don’t forget to work out your brain.

30. Say yes more.

31. Say no more.

32. Three words: small victories first. They build momentum. They validate self-assurance. They pave the way for later success. They enable you to take bolder action. They stretch your boundaries one mile at a time. Most importantly, they teach you all kinds of cool stuff.

33. Get experience in any way you can. Even if you have to do it for free. Even if you have to give a free speech for ten old dudes at a bible study at 7:00 AM in the middle of friggin nowhere at a greasy Wentzville diner called Country Fixins. (Hypothetically.)

34. Get a coach. An advisor. Someone that you PAY who will keep you accountable. Paying is important because: no investment = no committment.

35. Make it your goal to accumulate WISDOM, not knowledge.

36. Talk to strangers. The greatest learning resource in the world (even greater than The Google) is the person sitting next to you.

37. Two words: Wiki-pedia. (Oh wait, that’s one word. My bad.)

38. Whatever you’ve already learned, impart that priceless wisdom onto others. Aside from writing, teaching is the next best way to learn.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How did YOU speed up your learning curve?

Alright. Something weird is going on here.

In the past few weeks, I’ve had three different people make almost the exact same comment to me.

First it happened in Salt Lake City. I was recovering from a multi-speech day, resting in my hotel room, watching Anchorman. I checked the voicemail on my cell. It was from a strange guy named Mike. His message explained that he’d read my first book and would love to chat sometime.

Cool, I thought. And since I’d already seen Anchorman 73 times, I decided to return his call. A few minutes later, I dialed his number from my cell phone ID. He picked up and said hello.

‘Hey Mike, it’s Scott, The Nametag Guy!’

‘Really?’ he asked, followed by a brief silence. ‘Oh. Hi. Wow, I…uh…really didn’t expect you to actually call me back.’

Hmmm…

And so I said to him (in slight confusion), ‘Mike, why wouldn’t I call you back?’

‘I…I don’t know, I guess. I just didn’t expect it.’

We talked for a few minutes. Pretty cool guy, too. Turns out one of my newest clients was Mike’s former boss at the University of Delaware. Small world, huh?

Anyway, after I hung up, I sat there and wondered: Wait, why wouldn’t Mike expect me to call him back? Isn’t that what you do when you get a voicemail?

We’ll come back to that in a minute. Check out what happened the next day…

I got an email from a potential client who was interested in booking me for an upcoming conference. Excited about the opportunity to work together, I emailed her back two minutes later (like I usually do) with my fee schedule, program description and availability.

Sure enough, later on that afternoon, she wrote back to confirm the engagement! Excellent! I thought.

Then – and I kid you not – the exact words in the body of her email: ‘Wow, I can’t believe you actually emailed me right back! Are you sure you’re a speaker?’

Yes. She actually said that.

And again, I was thinking, But why wouldn’t she expect to get an email right back from me? Isn’t that what you do when a potential customer inquires about hiring you?

But wait. It gets better.

Last week I was working in Toledo at an entrepreneur conference. The night before my speech, I went out to dinner with my client and a few of her colleagues from the organization.

‘Scott, meet Laura,’ my client said, ‘She told me the two of you have already spoken, right?’

‘Oh yeah, right. I remember! Nice to meet you in person Laura,” I said.

‘You too Scott,’ she said. ‘And by the way, I was really impressed that you actually picked up your cell phone when I called last week. I wasn’t expecting that!’

‘Really? But why wouldn’t I pick up the phone?’ I asked.

‘Oh I don’t know, I…just…didn’t think you would.’

OK. Just stop right there. I gotta figure this out.

I pondered for a minute. Scratching my head like I’d been doing something wrong this whole time.

And then it hit me. Holy crap!

All of these people expect to be ignored because that’s the attitude they have developed after working in the corporate world.

The world of unreplied emails.
The world of unreturned phone calls.
The world of unapproachable professionals.

And I never worked in the corporate world. That’s why this is news to me. How am I supposed to know, right?

Never had a cubicle.
Never had an office.
Never had to fill out TPS reports.

See, I started my company right out of college. No experience. Fresh meat. Untainted by the cruel hands of the white-shirted, red-tied corporate drones a la Dilbert cartoons.

I guess I just don’t know any better.

And I say that in a good way.

See, I return calls and emails right away because, well, that just seems like the right way to do business.

Like the right way to treat people.

Like the same way I would treat my friends.

Like the same way I would want to be treated.

Now, maybe I’m naïve. Sure, I’m 26 years old. I don’t know much.

But I DO know that the one compliment I seem to get more than anything is, ‘Gosh Scott, you’re so easy to get a hold of!’

And the sad thing is: that should NOT have to be a compliment.

That should be standard operating procedure for all professionals, regardless of age, industry, annual income or job title.

Something weird is going on here. And I don’t think it’s just me.

Ain’t no hollaback girl? Not any more.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Have you ever “surprised” someone by being easily accessible?

When was the last time you were bored?

Today?
Yesterday?
Last week?
Last year?

And when you were bored, what did you do?

Eat?
Watch TV?
Doodle on a piece of paper?
Spend an hour on www.boredatwork.com?

I haven’t been bored since college. And you know what? I’m damn proud of that. It’s consistently enabled me to accomplish more stuff, meet more cool people and have more fun.

And here’s what amazes me: friends and fellow professionals often ask, ‘Wow! Books, speeches, article, podcasts, blogs, traveling and marketing – where did you find the time to do all that stuff?’

Well, um, last time I checked, all of us had the same amount of time in each day, right?

Maybe it’s simply because I wasn’t bored.

But don’t take it from me. Take it from these guys:

Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. ~Mignon McLaughlin

The war between being and nothingness is the underlying illness of the twentieth century. Boredom slays more of existence than war. ~Norman Mailer

I am never bored anywhere: being bored is an insult to oneself. ~Jules Renard

Boredom is like a pitiless zooming in on the epidermis of time. Every instant is dilated and magnified like the pores of the face. ~Charlotte Whitton

You get the point: boredom is the enemy. Which is kind of funny considering that the world is filled with people who complain, ‘Gosh, there’s never enough time,’ and people who complain ‘Gosh, I’m always so bored??’

Therefore, consider these MORE’s for eliminating boredom:

1) MORE reading
2) MORE writing
3) MORE blogging
4) MORE podcasting
5) MORE exercising
6) MORE brainstorming
7) MORE networking events
8) MORE reviewing your goals
9) MORE audio learning systems
10) MORE research on the Internet
11) MORE enhancing your creativity
12) MORE lunches with hot prospects
13) MORE reviewing old underlined books
14) MORE calling your clients to check up
15) MORE asking clients why they work with you
16) MORE calling your friends you haven’t talked to in months

Think of it this way: if you’re bored, maybe that means you’re a boring person.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
When was the last time you were bored?

You’re the youngest person in your office.

It sucks, right?

Trust me, I know what it’s like.

Coworkers and customers give you a hard time because you’re ‘the baby,’ or because you’ve ‘just graduated’ or because you’ve ‘never heard of The Beatles.’

Big deal.

Consider the plights of these five Young Pups:

1. Napoleon was an artillery captain at 23.
2. Charles Lindbergh was the first man to fly across the Atlantic Ocean at 25.
3. Alexander the Great conquered the known world at 26.
4. Eli Whitney perfected the cotton gin at 28.

And of course, my favorite…

In 1997, Tiger Woods shocked the nation by winning The Masters Tournament by a whopping 12 strokes.

He was 21 years old.

So, do you think Tiger, as he slipped on that coveted green jacket, cared how old he was?

Do you think any of the other players on the course that day cared how old he was?

And do you think any of the millions of golf fans watching on TV cared how old he was?

No.

Because it’s not the years, it’s the mileage.

Because actions speak louder than years.

And because abilities will trump age, any day of the week.

Especially on Sunday.

A few months ago, author, pastor (and my homeboy) Jim Henderson educated me on the difference between orthoDOXY and orthoPRAXY:

The word orthodoxy comes from the Greek ortho (‘correct’) and doxa (‘thought’).

The correct thoughts.

The word orthopraxy comes from the Greek ortho (‘correct’) and proxis (‘action’).

The correct actions.

Traditionally, these two words are used in a religious context.

Of course, that’s not what I’m talking about.

This is about business. About relationships. About life.

SO HERE’S THE QUESTION: What’s better: having the correct thoughts, or the correct actions?

It seems to me that theory, information, thoughts, ideas, blah blah blah, are all vital things; but without action, they don’t amount to much.

AFTER ALL:

People DON’T give you credit for what they HEAR you SAY consistently.

People ONLY give you credit for what they SEE you DO consistently.

This doesn’t men orthopraxy is ‘better’ than orthodoxy.

It’s just quicker.

And more authentic.
And more believable.
And more persuasive.
And more approachable.

Ultimately, orthopraxy means that instead of practicing what you preach, you’re preaching what you practice.

In the words of the aforementioned Jim Henderson:

‘Action changes everything … so, major in practices and minor in principles. Practices are attitudes that translate directly into actions. In fact, they often start in the opposite direction. We start practicing the practice even before we understand or perhaps believe it, which often leads to surprising changes in us (and our relationships with people) we normally wouldn’t known how to relate to.’

LESSONS LEARNED: action is eloquence. Action is character.

DO something first, THEN tell people about.
DO something first, THEN tell people what you learned.
DO something first, THEN encourage people to do the same.

Orthopraxy, not orthodoxy.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you talking or walking?

There’s no such thing as a motivational speaker.

Not even Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Norman Vincent Peale or Napoleon Hill were motivational speakers.

Sure, those were five highly motivated dudes. And sure, those guys definitely spoke about the topic of motivation.

BUT REMEMBER THIS: the only person in the world who can motivate you is yourself.

As an author, speaker an entrepreneur myself, I’ve become skilled at self-motivation. See, I work alone. No boss. No coworkers. No clock-in box.

Just me.

And in my experience, self-motivation works best under three conditions:

1. When it’s visual
2. When it’s daily
3. When it punches you in the face

I’ve found self-questioning to be an extremely effective technique. First of all, it makes you think critically and creatively. Secondly, it keeps you personally accountable. Lastly, questioning is THE most valuable tool in your communication arsenal to gain knowledge and clarity.

NOTE: before I share my list of questions, I need you to stop reading this article for a minute. Would you do something for me? Please go grab a pad of sticky notes and a Sharpie. When you read through the list, write each question on a sticky note and post it on your desk, computer, phone or bulletin board. This is key! It’s the best way to make these questions work to your advantage. You need to be able to see these self-motivators all day.

OK. Go get your supplies…NOW! (Don’t worry; I’ll wait. It’s not like I’m gonna go anywhere. Besides, I don’t even have a boss, remember?)

Cool. Welcome back! Let’s get crankin’ with those questions:

Nice Self-Motivating Questions to Kick Your Own Butt
1. Is what I’m doing today going to bring this customer back tomorrow? There’s no business like repeat business. And even when you say no, you’re still marketing. So be sure your words and actions are unforgettable. In the process, you will turn your customers into ‘fans.’ Cultivate and cherish these people who loyally love your stuff. Enable them to tell everyone about you, and they WILL come back tomorrow.

2. If everyone did exactly what I said, what would their world look like? This is my all-time favorite. Especially for managers and leaders, this question helps you clarify your philosophy, mission and orders. The key is, once you figure out the answer to this question, then ask yourself the following: ‘Is what I’m doing or saying giving my people the tools they need to build that world?’ If not, throw it out.

3. Is what I’m doing right now leading to a sale? Poor time management and lack of focus are dangerous adversaries to all business people. Asking yourself this question keeps the idea of sales at the top of your mind. I first posted this sticky note on my laptop about three years ago. Sales have doubled every year since.

4. Is what I’m doing right now consistent with my #1 goal? This question forces you think critically about your primary objective. Sadly, to few businesspeople actually know what that is! In fact, I bet if you asked ten random people what their #1 goal for 2007 was, only about half of them would have a definitive answer for you. So, what’s yours? Doubling annual revenue? Achieving membership into the 100% club? Securing five new accounts a week? Whatever your #1 goal is; use this sticky note as an accountability measure. If the answer is yes, keep doing what you’re doing. If the answer is no, stop playing online poker and go do something productive!

5. What did you write today? Every time a new friend or client comes to my office, this is the first thing they usually notice. You can’t miss it. I wrote it at the top of my dry erase board last year when I began writing my latest book, Make a Name for Yourself. And since then, it’s worked brilliantly. I have no choice but to stare at it all day! As a result, I haven’t missed a day of writing in years. I suggest this question to everyone. NOTE: you might be saying to yourself, ‘But Scott, I’m not a writer!’ My response to that is, ‘Everyone is a writer.’ Just because you don’t write books or publish a column doesn’t mean you’re not a writer. There’s blogging, publishing newsletters and writing emails. All writing. All valuable. All done daily. Remember, writing is the basis of all wealth.

6. Is everything you know written down somewhere? That which goes unrecorded goes unmemorable. You must write everything down. Everything! Goals, thoughts, lessons learned and especially ideas. For example, how many times have you exclaimed, ‘Damn! I wish I’d thought of that!’ Well, I have some bad news for you: you probably DID think of that. You just didn’t write it down. And that’s why someone else is making money off that idea, not you. Write everything down.

7. On a scale from 1-10, how did I do in my (x) today? Since the day I graduated from college, I’ve been practicing something called ‘Daily Appointments with Myself.’ This 30-60 minute period of morning reflection and relaxation is THE most important part of every day. It resets my attitude, clears my head and prepares me for challenges and opportunities ahead. One of the key components to this appointment is my Success Checklist. I suggest you make one for yourself. Simply write out this question for every major area of your life, both personal and professional. Relationships. Goals. Career. Faith. Health. Whatever you want.

HERE’S THE KEY: give yourself an honest assessment of how well you think you did in each area for the day before. Use these numbers to keep record of your improvements over time.

8. What HVA’s did I practice today? That stands for ‘Highly Valuable Activity.’ Your goal is to accomplish three per day. Now, what you consider to be a HVA is up to you. Examples might include meeting with a prospect, writing an article, going to the gym, reading a new book or attending an association meeting. After a while, those numbers start to add up. 3 per day. That’s 21 per week. 84 per month. 1,018 per year. Wow! With that many Highly Valuable Activities, you’ll be certain to achieve your #1 goal for 2007!

9. What’s next? Back in the day when I used to sell furniture, my boss would post little sticky notes all around the store asking this two word question. According to Pamela, it kept her employees on task. Especially when business was slow. ‘What’s next?’ reminded us that there was always something to do: sweep, rearrange couches, follow up on special orders or study the new product catalogues. What’s more, this question works for small things and big things alike. Asking, ‘What’s next?’ on a big-picture scale is a valuable brainstorming activity to evaluate the growth of your business.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you asking yourself the right questions?

Self-talk works.

It’s simple: you flood your mind with positive thoughts. You enhance your self-belief. You change your attitude. You feel better. You see results.

This is the basic foundation upon which the entire self-help industry is based: ‘As a man thinketh, so is he.’ And I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately; especially after one of my audience members asked me, ‘Scott, what’s the key to approachability?’

I could’ve answered him in any number of ways: find a common point of interest, make others feel comfortable; maintain personal availability and the like. But if you really want to get down to the nitty gritty, the essence of what approachability is truly about, I’d say it all starts with attitude.

I know. Totally cliché, right? Typical self-help answer. Start with attitude. Pshhhttt!

But it’s true! You can’t approach, or be approached by other people unless you have the right attitude.

Here’s how I know that: I’ve been wearing a nametag 24-7 for six years, just to make people friendlier. And after traveling around the world giving speeches and writing books about my experiences, I’ve learned that my nametag would be utterly useless if I didn’t have a great attitude to go with it.

Now, where do you think that attitude came from?

You got it: self–talk.

And you know, I felt pretty silly the first few times I did it. Hey, most people do! But I submit to you that the greatest attitude building habit I ever undertook was to begin my day with daily affirmations.

So, what you’re about to read is a collection of positive, attitude building affirmations that will help you self-talk your way to increased approachability.

The Approachability Affirmation

•I am an approachable professional. I can both approach – and be approached by – important people.

•I choose to maintain an approachable attitude. I believe that every encounter is one in which I can learn, help others and expand my references, networks and experiences.

•I feel relaxed. When I engage with customers, coworkers and friends, they are put at ease and feel comfortable when working with me.

•I am confident. When I walk into a room, my smile, body language and appearance project happiness, enthusiasm and joy. I’m sure that wherever I go, I will meet new, cool people; I will learn new, cool stuff; and others will be glad they encountered me.

•I am a great conversationalist. I ask intriguing, creative, thought provoking questions that give people permission to open up. I am skilled at started, sustaining, transitioning and exiting conversations with individuals and groups.

•I am an even greater listener. I listen twice as much as I talk and make myself personally and physically available to others. I’m curious, not judgmental; and people known they can come to me with their ideas, problems, or anything else.

•I choose to be easily accessible. People can get a hold of me without frustration.

•I am attractive. Customers and coworkers are magnetized to me because of my superior attitude, ability to make them smile and willingness to assure that they feel comfortable.

•Shyness is not a problem for me. No matter what my friends, parents, teachers or the media say, I can easily and comfortably engage with others over the phone, via email or in person without apprehension.

• I have learned to recognize that fear is outweighed by benefit. Although stepping out of my comfort zone might be tough at first, it’s always worth it in the end. And even if I look like an idiot; I know that it’s no big deal, and that I’m better because of it.

• I win small victories first. In order to develop greater communication confidence, I achieve success in smaller situations first. Then, when I’m faced with something bigger and harder, it is this confidence I draw upon to face these new challenges with enthusiasm and readiness.

When I submit a book manuscript to my editor, I hope she uses up an entire red Sharpie marking up my draft.

Because I want to know what sucks.

Sure, it hurts. But I’ll take hurting over sucking any day.

Also, notice I said to find out ‘what’ sucks, not ‘who sucks.’

Don’t take it personally.

It’s not the author who sucks; it’s the writing that sucks.

It’s not the speaker who sucks; it’s the delivery that sucks.

Therefore, it’s not about you. It’s about the work.

So, plain and simple: you need to find out what sucks.

Take it as free advice to help you improve. Sure, it’s harder to ask people to point out the negatives. But this is the only way you’re going to get better.

HOW TO FIND OUT WHAT SUCKS

1. Pick the right person. Not everyone possesses the candor to tell you what sucks, i.e., family members. Be careful who you select.

2. Set ground rules first. Tell your friend, colleague, etc., that you’re looking to improve in certain areas. Ask that they be completely honest and direct with you. Promise there are no hard feelings and that nobody gets defensive.

3. Take it slow, take it small. If you saturate yourself with too many “suck points” all at once, eventually it will start to wear on you. So, agree to accept feedback in small doses.

4. Apply and Reply. Don’t expect to put everything to use. Apply several of the ideas you feel are valid, throw out the ones that don’t work.

5. Gratitude. Thank your partner for helping you find out what sucks. Show him how your work has improved by applying his feedback.

6. Offer to reciprocate. Be willing to help your friend find out what sucks with his work too. Offer to follow the same guidelines as discussed previously.

Ultimately, I think Jerry Seinfeld said it best, ‘There are only two types of feedback in life: ‘That’s great!’ and ‘That sucks!’

If you want to make a name for yourself, you better ask for both.

(Oh, and if you think there’s something I’ve done that sucks, super! Email me. Thanks in advance.)

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Who’s your go-to person that tells you where you suck?