1. Grow PROPORTIONATE Ears. Did you listen twice as much as you talked? Here’s a good test of that: If your conversation partner finishes her lunch before you, you didn’t listen enough.

2. Grow RECENT Ears. When was the last time someone complimented your listening skills? Yesterday? Last week? Last month? 1997? Whatever your answer is, it was too long ago.

3. Grow HONEST Ears. Would YOU be compelled to listen to you? Ouch. Something to honestly think about. Especially if your answer isn’t an immediate YES. Kind of makes you wonder what people are REALLY doing while you’re speaking.

4. Grow ZEN Ears. When was the last time you listened, all the way through, to an idea that made you uncomfortable? This is not easy. This requires patience, open-mindedness, non-judgment and self-security.

5. Grow SMARTER Ears. Are you known as (1) Someone who really LISTENS, or (2) The guy who never shuts up? For your sake, I hope it’s #1. Because there is WAY too many #2’s out there. And most of them are your competitors.

6. Grow HELPFUL Ears. What can you say that will make a difference? Because if it’s just some inane cliché, some pointless story that feeds your ego or some clever little joke that adds ZERO value to the conversation, they don’t want to heart it.

7. Grow PATIENT Ears. How many seconds do you pause before speaking? ESL teaches its students to wait three seconds. THREE SECONDS. That’s one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand. Man. No wonder the foreign exchange students did so well in school!

8. Grow INTERDEVELOPMENTAL Ears. How well do you listen to yourself? You won’t be able to hear a damn thing anyone says if you can’t (first) listen to yourself. You’re the most important person in the world. It makes sense to tune in.

9. Grow PREPARED Ears. How much time do you spend preparing to listen? Think about it. We stay up all night rehearing and preparing for ‘the big presentation.’ But nobody takes the time to prepare himself to listen. Huh. Interesting.

10. Grow PROVING Ears. How do you demonstrate that you’ve listened? Through notes. Through comments. Through questions. Through summaries. Through remembering something minute that the person said six months later.

11. Grow SILENT Ears. Are you listening to the silences beneath people’s words? That will tell you more about the person than their words ever will. Almost like a symphony. Without the rests, the notes would be worthless.

12. Grow MINDFUL Ears. Are you listening or waiting to talk? Stop rehearsing. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next. Stay in the present moment and attend to the needs of your speaker.

13. Grow EMPATHIC Ears. Are you listening or trying to fix? People don’t want to be fixed. They want to be heard. They want you to respond to their present experience and personal truth.

14. Grow HUMBLER Ears. Are you aware of your personal biases that get in the way of listening effectively? Really? None? You don’t have ANY? In that case, make arrogance #1 on your list 🙂

1. Are you giving people permission to talk to you? Ah, yes. Approachability at its finest. Wear more sandwich boards.

2. How many people did you give your business card to today? Not enough. And maybe if your card weren’t a piece of crap, you’d be more inclined to share it. Redesign your card.

3. How are you giving yourself away? Every single day. Find a way to give yourself away. In fact, there’s a great book on this subject called ‘Give Yourself Away.’ But it now.

4. Do you give tours of your organization to outside groups? Why not? I thought you were a rock star. Invite people in.

5. Are you giving away enough stuff for free? The more you give away for free, the wealthier you will be. Start a blog.

6. Did you give a referral today? If so, you’re 87.34% more likely to GET a referral next week. Giving breeds getting.

7. How could your product give more status? That’s one of the (many) questions your customers are asking. Inflate their egos.

8. To whom do you want to give an opportunity for growth? Maybe your spouse. Maybe your staff. Maybe your customers. Maybe your SELF. Make growth required.

1. Allow everything to mentor you. Everyone you meet. Everything you do. Everywhere you go. Find a way to learn from them. Mentoring opportunities are endless. All you have to do is pay attention. Who (or what) teaches you?

2. Become an expert at learning from your experiences. As my mentor says, ‘We learn not from our experiences but from intelligent reflection upon those experiences.’ So, after you experience something – anything – be sure you’re taking adequate time to extract the lessons. What did you learn yesterday?

3. Catch yourself growing. Achieving a level of awareness where you can monitor your own growth. So, maybe that means spying on yourself. Maybe that means journaling your progress. Maybe that means soliciting regular feedback from people you trust. Whatever practices you employ, remember that awareness is key. How have you grown the most this year?

4. Certifications are overrated. A Master degree doesn’t mean you’ve mastered anything. You want to master something? Try DOING it. You want to master something? Try READING five hundred books about it. You want to master something? Try INTERVIEWING people who’ve already done it. You want to master something? Try FAILING at it a few times first. You want to master something? Try PRACTICING it every single day. Do you really need to go back to school?

5. Crystallizing experience. Certain moments stand out. They change you forever. They take you to a place far, far away that you never quite return from. Your challenge is being able to look back – say, months or years later – and say, ‘Wow. So THAT’S why that happened to me…’ What was your biggest wake-up call in the past five years?

6. Everything is a plus. The more cool/unique experiences you have … The more cool/unique people you meet … The more cool/unique things you see, watch, hear, read, taste … The more cool/unique places you go … the more cool/unique you will become. In the words of Glen Phillips, ‘There is nothing that doesn’t matter. Every word is a seed that scatters. Everything matters.’ How many seeds did you scatter this month?

7. I’m so stupid that I’ve become a genius. The more frequently you admit your ignorance, the smarter you will become. In the words of Warren Buffet, ‘If we have a strength, it is in recognizing when we are operating well within our circle of competence and when we are approaching the perimeter.’ What are you willing to admit you don’t know?

8. No mistakes, only lessons. How long something stays a mistake depends on how quickly you begin to learn from it. There are no mistakes. Show me a mistake you made and I’ll show you TEN lessons you could learn form that mistake, thereby eliminating it as a mistake. Are you screwing up enough?

9. Pay Attention. Simple as that. It makes your world grow bigger. It enables you see wider and fuller each day. Are you more concerned with the song the bird is singing or what type of bird is singing the song?

10. Remember that every experience is a qualification. Use everything to your advantage. The more you’ve done, the more you can do. After all, the word ‘expert’ comes from the Latin experiri, which means, ‘experience.’ Have you left the house today?

11. Study the anatomy of other people’s talent. Then, find out what makes those people successful. Find out what the commonalities are. And then ask: How many of those commonalities do YOU possess?

You don’t need to change your situation, your environment or the people in it.

You need to change the way you respond to it.

Because that’s about you CAN control.

No matter how hostile, rude or annoying some people are, you need to be strong enough to F-R-E-E-Z-E, and then ask yourself questions like:

1. Could you possibly remind this individual of someone in their past who gave them a hard time?
2. Did something change in this person’s personal life – perhaps a financial situation – making her more secretive and unapproachable?
3. Did something change in this person’s workload or status making her more cold and rigid?
4. Did you put up a wall because this person reminds you of someone in your past who gave you a hard time?
5. Does my body respond with a thud or a ping?
6. Does this feedback contain evidence?
7. Does this person just irritate you or actually cause you to put up a wall?
8. Has something happened in your life that made you more rigid and less accepting toward others?
9. How is it possible that this person could think or behave in this way, and under what circumstances would it make perfect sense to do so?
10. How might you be encouraging disagreement?
11. How would you like to respond to that situation?
12. If someone else were talking to me about these topics, what would make ME want to listen?
13. If this person never seems to listen to you, is it possible that you’re not a listenable person?
14. If you were in her shoes, would you have any reason to exclude others at work?
15. In what way do YOU also put up a wall and feel the need to keep the other person at a distance?
16. In what ways have my needs begun to clash with hers?
17. Is there anybody in my life that I treat this way?
18. Is there something about this person’s style that you find frustrating and contributes to tension between you?
19. Is this an expression of someone who honors and cherishes themselves?
20. Is this person threatened by you being rewarded at work and is shutting you out of the loop?
21. Was there an incident between you that left bad feelings?
22. Were there clues early on that this individual was going to put up barriers toward you or others?
23. Were you enabling this person’s behavior by responding to it?
24. What are the verbal cues this person is offering that indicate what they value?
25. What could I say that would absolutely piss this person off more than anything?
26. What do I actually disagree with in this case? Are you disagreeing or are you disagreeable
27. What does this person believe about the world that would make him have such a goal?
28. What does this person get from the old script or system?
29. What does this person need to hear herself say right now?
30. What does this person’s self-interest hinge upon?
31. What invisible walls have you built?
32. What is #1 on this person’s Self Interest List?
33. What is it about this person that bothers me?
34. What is it in me that might be causing this situation?
35. What is the key to this person’s heart?
36. What is the most effective way for me to respond?
37. What is this person experiencing because of what is happening?
38. What is this person telling me about HOW they are feeling?
39. What is this person’s dominant reality in this situation?
40. What is this person’s motivation for talking to me this way?
41. What is this person’s success seed?
42. What level of consciousness does this person seem to be at?
43. What part of her feedback is accurate and what part is just her negative way of complaining about everything?
44. What part of her feedback is useful to my work, and what part is incorrect, misinformed or just plain whiny?
45. What questions is this person asking with his body?
46. What stories is this person telling themselves?
47. What underlying objective or goal does this person’s role create?
48. What value system is this person operating out of?
49. What was the person’s intention in producing this behavior?
50. Who can hurt this person the most, and how can I address that?
51. Who does this person need to look good for?
52. Why does this person feel the need to put up a wall or keep you at a distance?
53. Why has the situation of this person remained like that?
54. Would someone who loves themselves make this choice?

1. How often are customers coming to YOU? The more the better. It shortens your sales cycle, quickens customer acquisition time and reduces marketing costs. Attract; don’t look.

2. How often are markets targeting YOU? You need to become the bulls-eye, not the arrow. I call this Reverse Target Marketing. Being the selected, not the selector. Attract; don’t seek.

3. Does a lower fee make you more affordable, or less attractive? That’s the thing about higher fees. They’re not just intimidating; they’re also tempting. It’s all about value perception. Ask for more.

4. How can you build an asset that is so attractive that buyers will come looking for it? Build word-of-mouth into your product, service or idea at the onset. Use baseline remarkability as your foot in the door; use enduring remarkability as your insurance to stay in the room. Think WOM first.

5. What can you do to attract your favorite type of clients? Maybe write a personal ad for your ideal client. Maybe get video testimonials from your favorite clients and post them on your blog. Maybe include a section on your website that explains, ‘A perfect client for me is…’ Brainstorm ideal situations.

6. Who is already attracted to me and sees me as a resource? If this is the case, you’ve got a MONSTER head start. More fans = less selling. Fanagement builds wealth.

1. Practice accepting compliments. How you respond to a compliment speaks volumes about your self-esteem, personality and state of being. Some people justify. Some people deflect. Some people giggle. Some people simply say, ‘Thank you.’ Which one are you?

2. Practice aggressive pondering. My best friend, Andy Masters, taught me this one. You might say he’s a ‘master’ of this practice. Aggressive pondering can be designed around YOUR thinking and learning style. Whether you make lists, journal, sit on a beach, meditate in a cave, draw on flip charts or scatter hundreds of colored note cards across the carpet (my fave!), the challenge is to think. To really, really think. About whatever you want. How much time each day do you spend just thinking?

3. Practice being happy. Throughout your day, seek out specific things to observe that you KNOW will make you smile. Personally, I use kids and pets. Perfect vehicles for spontaneous happiness. It’s almost impossible NOT to smile when you see them, which means it’s impossible NOT to be happy. Also, if you’re fortunate enough to spend your waking hours engaged in something that you’re passionate about; I challenge you to step back every hour or so to simply drink in the moment and say to yourself, ‘This moment is perfect. I am perfect. I am happiness.’ What made you smile this morning?

4. Practice being yourself. Of course, the secret to this practice is first KNOWING yourself. That’s a big enough challenge as it is. So, here’s what you do. Think of three specific things, thoughts, behaviors or attitudes that you believe to be unique to YOU. Maybe it’s the questions you ask, maybe it’s the boundaries you set, or maybe it’s the values by which you live. Whatever you choose, solidify those attributes as the foundation of your BEING. Then, in to practice being yourself, constantly ask the great question made famous by author/speaker/thinker Jim Cathcart: How would the person I’m trying to become do what I’m about to do?

5. Practice confident uncertainty. In Ellen Langer’s classic book, Mindfulness, she defined this practice gorgeously. So, let me just quote a few of her key points on the idea: Confident uncertainty … legitimizes curiosity. Confident uncertainty … enables people construct the experience. Confident uncertainty … is conducive to innovation and initiative. Confident uncertainty … breeds independent judgment and a general freedom of action. Confident uncertainty … leads to a search for more information, and with more information there may be more options. How many of the decisions you make each day have absolutely correct answers?

6. Practice constructive solitude. Take a walk. Take a run. Take a swim. Sit in the corner of Starbucks with a book. Take a week off work and go to Sedona and don’t talk to ANYBODY (my fave!) Solitude is precious. It cures stress. It sorts ideas. It is a restoration that resonates resolution. And the best part is, creativity adores it. Are you giving yourself permission to be alone?

7. Practice inner attention. Every answer to every problem that ever arises in your life can be found by paying exquisite attention to yourself. To your body. To your mind. To your emotions. To your intuition. There are endless paths for doing so, from yoga to chanting mantras to praying to TM to journaling. How well are you listening to yourself?

8. Practice intense relaxation. Believe it or not, we have to teach ourselves how to relax. I know, it sounds dumb. But take it from someone who was hospitalized three times in six months because he didn’t know how to relax. Yep. Simultaneously the stupidest mistake AND the most glorious awakening of my life. And the best part is: now I’ve finally learned how to relax. Whether it’s meditating, mini-vacations, taking walks or watching Dumb & Dumber for the 179th time, it works for me. And that’s the key. You need to discover what works for you without overly regimenting anything. How did you relax yesterday?

9. Practice intentional discomfort. Comfort zones are overrated. You have absolutely NO business there. If you want to learn, you’ve GOT to stick yourself out there. All day. Every day. Literally. Metaphorically. Spiritually. Emotionally. In person. Online. On paper. On stage. What did you do yesterday that scared you?

10. Practice intentional silence. Whether it’s on paper, on stage or in conversation … pausing … is one of the great forces in the universe. Pausing applies pressure. Pausing creates space. Pausing evokes emotions. Pausing invites learning. Pausing examines nuances. Pausing communicates empathy. Pausing attracts attention. Pausing demonstrates respect. Pausing facilitates idea penetration. Are leaving enough space between words?

11. Practice irrepressible resilience. Determination. Commitment. Discipline. Perseverance. Stick-to-itiveness. Bouncing Back. Getting up. Not backing down. Refusing to go away. All that stuff. Same thing. Same practice. You can do this one all day, in everything endeavor. How are you building your resiliency?

12. Practice joyful service. There is no other way to serve. There is no other way to live. What’s more, when you bring joy into the service process, customers LOVE it. They have to – it’s contagious. It oozes out of you and coats the concrete on which you and your customers stand. How much loyalty are you sacrificing by NOT incorporate joy into your service process?

13. Practice mattering daily. It’s healthy. It builds character. It reinforces your self-esteem. If you can find a way to validate your existence on a daily basis, you’ll never waste another day in your life. And, by the way, I can guarantee that you DO matter. To someone or some THING, you matter. Are you, on a daily basis, doing stuff that matters?

14. Practice mental evacuations. Thinking is the great paradox: It’s the greatest thing man has achieved, yet it’s the single thing that’s going to destroy our civilization. Because of that, I challenge you to evacuate, to DUMP your mind on a regular basis. Now, that doesn’t mean DISPLACE your mind by getting stoned or drunk every other night. I said DUMP. Which means take out the trash. As aforementioned Peaceful Warrior suggests, ‘The trash is anything that takes you away from the present moment.’ What mental obstacles are preventing you from being an effective person?

15. Practice non-manipulative intentionality. People can smell manipulation from a mile a way. And if you telegraph your neediness, they won’t (1) Listen TO you, (2) Buy FROM you, or (3) Trust IN you. So, just relax. Persuade manipulation-free and earn trust trick-free. Are you harmonizing or manipulating?

16. Practice not doing. Maybe a little more BEING. After all, people aren’t going to be influenced by what you believe or say (or even) DO. They’ll be influenced by WHO YOU ARE. Less doing, more being. What does who-you-are tell people?

17. Practice participatory management. Stop dominating. Stop dictating. Stop doing and saying things AT people. Try WITH them instead. They might actually listen to you. How are you creating an environment where healthy participation naturally emerges?

18. Practice positive DOING. Nothing against Normal Vincent Peale. But, seriously. Positing thinking doesn’t make you money. It might give you an unstoppable attitude, but only ACTION … only EXECUTION is priceless. What actions can you take TODAY to eliminate or minimize barriers to your boldness?

19. Practice positive negativity. Speaking of positive attitudes, also remember that being a little negative can go a LONG way. Especially if it’s rooted in a healthy dose of doubt. Doubt protects us. Doubt gives us choices. Doubt is smart. Are you beginning with it?

20. Practice posture maintenance. First, literally. Beware of your shoulders sneaking their way up to your ears. Second, metaphorically. Beware of the way in which you walk in this world. Your posture – your attitude, your carriage, your approach – says a LOT about you. What do people get when they get you?

21. Practice proactive gratitude. If you’re not writing in a Gratitude Journal every day, you’re a putz. Perhaps that’s why stuff hasn’t been going you way. Because you’re not giving enough thanks. Remember, that which you appreciate appreciates. What ten things are you thankful for today?

22. Practice random thinking. Structure is overrated. Give yourself permission to just sit and think. About whatever comes to your mind. You may even consider doing so on PAPER, just in case you come up with something that’s GOLD JERRY GOLD! How much time yesterday do you spend just thinking?

23. Practice regular past shedding. You are not your past. That’s not your identity, that’s not what matters, and that’s not now what people care about. Let it go. Think of yourself as a snake whose skin requires seasonal shedding. What have you recently let go of?

24. Practice responsible anarchy. Order is (also) overrated. Craziness, chaos and rebellion, on the other hand, are much healthier. They put hair on your chest. They build character. How many waves did you make last week?

25. Practice strategic serendipity. Luck doesn’t exist. Luck is an acronym for ‘Working Your Ass Off.’ So, find out where the rock created the ripple and then go throw more rocks. And if you want to be in the right place at the right time, you need to be in a lot of places. How many places are YOU in?

26. Practice taking crap. Not only is it healthy for your ego, but it also trains you to respond instead of react. To judge whether or not this person’s criticism has any merit. In the words of my mentor, Jeffrey Gitomer, ‘If they have a nicer car than me, then I’ll listen to their criticism.’ How patient are you willing to be?

27. Practice talking normally. Like a person, not a robot. Like a human, not a script. Normalize, standardize and internalize your thoughts through writing, then share them with the world in a language your 11 year-old daughter could understand. Are you speaking simply enough?

28. Practice the presence. Especially when you’re listening. Focus on the breath. Focus the other person’s immediate experience. Focus on how their words have an affect on you. Also, when you’re not listening, you can do the same. Find a way to incorporate deep breathing into everything you do. Is your presence calming others?

29. Practice uncalculated generosity. Trash the scorecard. Just starting being kind to people for no reason and with no agenda. People will notice. Whose lunch did you buy this week?

30. Practice with everybody. Especially the people who are better than you. They will teach you, they will inspire you and they will keep you accountable. Also, don’t overlook the value of practicing with beginners. They will keep you humble and help you recognize how far you’ve come. Who are you afraid to practice next to?

31. Practice with passion. Last point. Most important point. PASSION. It makes the time go by faster. It makes it more fun. It makes it NOT feel like practice. Remember, it’s not ‘the way you practice is the way you play.’ If you practice EVERYTHING, then ‘the way you practice is the way you ARE.’ When was the last time you lost track of time while practicing?

1. What happens when someone googles your name? A million hits? A hundred hits? Zero hits? Your articles? You blog? Your horrible MySpace page with all those pictures of you getting drunk with that soccer team from Brazil? The Internet’s forever.

2. What happens when someone googles your company name? If it doesn’t show up, you’re in trouble. Because if you don’t exist on Google, you don’t exist. Do you exist?

3. What happens when someone googles your product’s name? Do message boards, threads and online discussions about how crappy your product is immediately bombard them? Yikes. Show your boss.

4. What happens when someone googles your email address? This is just kind of a neat exercise. Try it now.

5. What happens when someone googles your phone number? Another neat exercise that has no purpose. Go for it.

6. What has to happen for your website to be the first hit on Google? Do you have to pay thousands of dollars in Adwords and sponsored links? Do you have to blog every day? Be more googleicious.

7. How many Google Alerts do you have? Your name. Your company name. Your product name. Your competitor’s name. The list goes on and on. Get them today.

8. When was the last time you googled your own business? Never? Really? Are you NUTS? Stop reading. Google.

9. When was the last time you Googled a word or idea? Kind of cool to see what comes up immediately. Almost like an instant barometer or ‘pulse’ or the word. Hooray for Google!

10. Have you googled it first? It’s a generational thing. But the moment you get any idea or thought, always google it. You never know. Google everything first.

11. What has to happen for your website to be the first TEN hits on Google? Writing? Writing? Writing? Maybe try writing?

NOTE: These people are in no particular order. I’ve sorted them alphabetically. Each of them is just as hot as the other 😉

1. Adam Kreitman (www.wordsthatclick.com)
2. Alan Weiss (www.summitconsulting.com)
3. Andy Sernovitz (www.andysernovitz.com)
4. Angela Leib (www.angelalieb.com)
5. Arthur Scharff (www.presidentscouncil.biz)
6. Bob Baker (www.bob-baker.com)
7. Don the Idea Guy (www.dontheideaguy.com)
8. Eric Maisel (www.ericmaisel.com)
9. Harlan Hodge (www.harlanbhodge.com)
10. Jane Atkinson (www.speakerlauncher.com)
11. Jeffrey Gitomer (www.gitomer.com)
12. Joey Reiman (www.thinkbrighthouse.com)
13. Karen Hoffman (www.theideacoach.com)
14. Kirsten Carey (www.orangetree123.com)
15. Lois Creamer (www.bookmorebusiness.com)
16. Matt Homann (www.thenonbillablehour.typepad.com)
17. Robbin Phillips (www.brainsonfire.com)
18. Seth Godin (www.sethgodin.com)
19. Viki Diedrich (www.limitedadditionsgallery.com)
20. William Jenkins (www.jenkinsedex.com)

1. Avoid the Always/Notice the Never. Find out what people who do what you do ALWAYS do, then do the opposite. Similarly, find out what people who do what you do NEVER do, then do the opposite. Here’s a helpful video module with an exercise you can implement to make this practice happen. What are you currently doing that’s unpredictable?

2. Make the mundane memorable. What do your voicemail, email signature, business card, website and blog have in common? ANSWER: They’re all boring. Keep in mind: Nobody notices normal. Nobody buys boring. And nobody pays for average. So, the secret is to create a seamless predictability among all marketing touchpoints. All of these are underused branding hotspots (and more!) require a unique touch. How many customers is being boring costing you?

3. Don’t be one-dimensional. I once had a boss whose sole interest, purpose and passion in life was sports. That’s it. The guy couldn’t carry conversation like a normal person unless the topic related to sports. Or, if the conversation was not about sports, he’d go out of his way to make sure it slowly became that way.

THEE most uninteresting, one-dimensional guy I ever worked with.

Now, I’m not against having a passion for sports. I love sports. (Go Cardinals!) What IS as a problem, however, is when you maintain such a limited worldview and openness for activities and experiences outside of your scope of interest, that is mars your ability to relate to others in a healthy way. Bor-ring. How many dimensions do YOU have?

4. Learn the principles of amazing storytelling. Stories are powerful. Stories are better than statistics or quotes. Stories are what customers; readers and audiences remember and connect with most. Ultimately, stories are the best way to communicate a message. So, if you want to become a master storyteller, my suggestions are: (1) Listen to Garrison Kiellor, (2) Read Made to Stick and (3) Attend Doug Stevenson’s Story Theater program. How many people are repeating YOUR story?

5. Be a story distiller. BUT, you can’t just tell the story. Because that’s not enough. So, when your story is over, don’t just move on to the next story. First, figure out the lesson(s), universal human experience/emotion, practical take home value and Call to Action. Here’s a helpful article on how to extract take-home value. Why are you telling this story?

6. Be a Smokin’ Hot Piece of Brain Candy. One of Edward DeBono’s most underrated books is called How to Have a Beautiful Mind. In the opening he states: ‘As you get older, physical beauty tends to fade. But beauty of the mind is independent of age and can actually increase with wisdom and experience.’

In short: Be Brain Candy.

This idiom of psychological attractiveness means ‘someone with high mental appeal AND significant substance.’ It’s more enduring, attractive, marketable, approachable, memorable and, of course, more INTERESTING. Check out my Top Twenty List of Smokin’ Hot Pieces of Brain Candy. Are you eye candy or brain candy?

7. Be childlike, but not childish. One person’s playful spirit brings out the same in another. So, by acting childlike, you subconsciously give other people PERMISSION to the same. It’s contagious. It’s approachable. It’s memorable. And everyone can relate to it. How are you giving people permission to be playful around you?

8. Be more challenging. Ask questions like: Is that always the case? So what? What stops you? What would happen if you didn’t? What’s your proof? Break people’s patterns. Make them stop, think and say, ‘Wow…’ It works. How challenging are you?

9. Be radically honest. It’s unexpected and unforgettable. Read this life-changing book and, if you practice what Brad practices, I guarantee you’ll become twice as interesting of person by the time you’re done. How are you branding your honesty?

10. Become a Question Master. It’s not just about asking a bunch of questions; it’s about valuing a questioning attitude. So, every time you hear or read a question that makes you react in ANY way, write it down. Add it to your running list of questions. Categorize them. Sort them alphabetically to make it easier on your eyes. My list has 6000. How many questions do you have on your list?

11. Books. Speaking of books, I suggest you make a list called, ‘Top Ten Most Interesting Books I’ve Read.’ Next to each one, write three attributes, actions or states of being that make those books so interesting. When you’re done, look for patterns. Extract the key ideas and then ask yourself how you can practice that in your own life. What did you read today?

12. Consciously choose how you experience the world. In his mind-blowing book, Playful Perception, Herbert Leff suggests, ‘Expand your repertoire of useful awareness plans and you will improve the flavor and value of your inner experiences. Increase the choice about the quality of your experience.’ Check out this awesome list of 43 awareness plans to make your daily life more interesting. Are you making mindful choices for experiencing the world?

13. Create Points of Dissonance. Vagueness stimulates curiosity. And curiosity is a natural motivator of human engagement. So, there’s a certain dissonance when people observe an unexpected or unexplained behavior. Especially when it’s inconsistent with their environment. (Like seeing some guy wearing a nametag at the gym, for example.)

The challenge is to craft an idea, a message, or a look that when people are first exposed to it, they can’t help but respond with, ‘Huh?’ or ‘Ok, so, I just HAVE to ask…’ Those words are money in the bank. Remember: The most effective way to attract people’s attention is to B-R-E-A-K their patterns. Copyblogger has a killer post about being interesting as it relates to this topic. What patterns are YOU breaking?

14. Establish your voice. If you want make your thinking, writing and speaking more unique, relevant, persuasive, memorable, appealing and more creative, you need to pull material FROM, and cite examples USING multiple, eclectic and personal sources.

In the words of Kurt Vonnegut: ‘If you want to be a great writer, be a great date for your reader.’ Here’s a meaty, practical guide on how to do this. WARNING: If you’re an Oprah fan, you may not want to read it. Is your writing innovative or imitative?

15. Expand your references. In the book Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins said, ‘Limited references create a limited life. If you want to expand your life, you must expand your references by pursuing ideas and experiences that wouldn’t be a part of your life if you didn’t consciously seek them out.’

Remember: The more interesting experiences you have, the more interesting people you meet, the more interesting things you see, watch, hear, read, taste, the more interesting places you go, the more interesting you will become. Everything is a plus. How have you stepped out of your comfort zone this week?

16. Explore the word ‘interesting.’ It literally means: Engaging or exciting and holding the attention or curiosity. Arousing a feeling of interest. A state of curiosity or concern about or attention to something. Involvement with or participation in something. An excess or bonus beyond what is expected or due. Something, such as a quality, subject, or activity that evokes this mental state.

OK, so, now that you know that, go do that. Go BE that. On a scale from 1-10, how interesting would you say you are? How interesting would your top 20 customers say you are?

17. Extract the positive characteristics. Make a list called, ‘Top Ten Most Interesting People I Know.’ Next to each one, write three attributes, actions or states of being that make those people so interesting. When you’re done, look for patterns. Extract the key ideas and then ask yourself how you can practice that in your own life. This exercise is how I began writing this very module on being interesting. It works and it’s fun. What would an interesting person do in this situation?

18. Extract the negative characteristics. Next, make a list called, ‘Top Ten Least Interesting People I Know.’ Next to each one, write three attributes, actions or states of being that make those people so uninteresting. When you’re done, look for patterns. Extract the key ideas and then ask yourself how you can practice the opposite of in your own life. What would an uninteresting person do in this situation?

19. Fascinate yourself with the ordinary. ‘Evaluate critically every novelty you encounter,’ Mihály Csíkszentmihályi wrote in his amazing book Creativity. ‘One of the surest ways to enrich life is to make experiences less fleeting.’ If you do this, you WILL boost your creativity. You will flood your mind with new ideas. You will build a solid foundation of curiosity. And the combination of those three results will mold your melon into an attractive, valuable commodity that your clients will want to have access to.

Remember: Clients don’t want to hire consultants or marketers or coaches – they want to hire cool, smart people who happen to do those things. What ordinary stuff fascinates you?

20. Find interesting in almost anything. Similarly, Edward DeBono encourages people to embrace curiosity by constantly saying, ‘Now that’s interesting…’‘Be able to find interest in almost anything,’ DeBono says in the aforementioned How to Have a Beautiful Mind. ‘Be curious. Explore things. Bring up a discussion. Get people’s opinions, ideas and values. Explore, elaborate and make connections.’ Are you practicing that enough?

21. Gain an eclectic education. In his book, The Invaluable Leader, my friend Dale Furtwengler suggests, ‘Gain an eclectic education. Expose your mind to things outside your normal areas of interest or discipline. The more quickly you can connect with your listeners, the more effectively you can communicate in their language, the more insights you can port from other disciplines, the more valuable you become.’

Your challenge is to infuse your writing, ideas and conversations with the cool, interesting things you’ve learned through your eclectic education. People will become interested. What weird books have you read recently?

22. Hang with interesting people. Listen. Watch. Soak it in. Ask yourself what it is about this person that makes them so interesting. Then DO that. Then BE that. How many of your friends are boring?

23. Have a killer vocabulary. That doesn’t mean use fancy words that showcase your brilliance. Just strong words. Powerful words. Well-timed words. Unexpected words. Perfect words. And of course, killer questions that nobody else is asking. Does your language challenge people?

24. How to Answer a Question. Answering questions creatively, counterintuitively an unexpectedly leads to a higher level of thinking. Which elevates the conversation to a new level. Which enables both parties to discover their individual truths. Which yields more compelling results than if you would have offered a simple yes or no.

This, of course, is very interesting. (You may enjoy this handy guide on how to answer questions in more interesting, cool ways, too.)

So, think about the last time someone answered a question in that way. Weren’t you instantly drawn into that person’s radius? Weren’t you curious and intrigued about what they were going to say next? How often people respond that way to YOUR answers?

25. Identify and amplify your Personal Philosophy. Simply ask yourself the following question, ‘If everybody did exactly what I said, what would the world look like?’

The answer(s) to this question will become a blueprint of your personal philosophy. Your unique, interesting approach to business, life and people. And if you were smart, you would print these bullet points on a Philosophy Card. Very interesting, indeed. Do you have a business card or a philosophy card?

26. Insert your passion into everything. Embed your passion into the pavement of your daily encounters. You will engage, excite and inspire people because that’s what passion DOES. Embed your passion into the pavement that leads the way.

For example, let’s say your passion is guitars. Cool. The next step is to begin inserting that passion into every possible Passion Point. Your metaphors. Your pictures. Your gifts to customers. Your ezines. Your tweets. Your office. Your voicemail. Check out my homeboy Mark Williams, The Rockin’ Realtor. Pretty interesting dude. What’s your passion? How many of your customers know what it is?

27. Keep an Interesting Log. Any time someone (yourself included) says, ‘Wow, that’s SO interesting…’ make a note. Write down what was interesting about the topic, thing or idea at hand. Look for trends and patterns. Extract the key ideas and then apply them to your business and life. What three interesting things did you notice yesterday? How many of them did you write down?

28. Pioneer in obscure areas. Believe it or not, I’ve been internationally recognized as ‘The World’s Foremost Expert on Nametags.’ Folks, that’s absolutely insane. I still can’t believe that’s what people call me. However, ever since The Washington Post gave me that title in 2003, it’s stuck. (No pun intended.) So I just went with it. And over time, it’s served me, my business and my wallet well. What specialized knowledge have you developed?

29. Predictable Unpredictability. In Edward DeBono’s book, I Am Right You Are Wrong, he answers the question about what makes something (or someone) interesting:

‘There is always interest in a pattern-rich repertoire. If around any subject there is a rich networking of patterns, that subject becomes interesting.’

Your challenge is to build up a critical mass of interest by being what I call Predictably Unpredictable. You do this by positioning yourself in a way where people want to know what’s going to happen next, i.e., “I wonder what nametag related adventure he’s going to have today!” I call it The Caveman Principle™. How unpredictable are you?

30. Transform ideas into questions. I call this creative process ‘Catapulting.’ It’s something I’ve been doing every single day for years. Here are two examples of how it works.

*If someone casually mentions, ‘I can’t believe I just stumbled upon this for the first time!’ then you would write down on your question list, ‘What have you recently stumbled upon for the first time?’

*If you read the passage, ‘This behavior will make it hard for people to take you seriously,’ you would jot down, ‘What is affecting your ability to be taken seriously?’

See how that works? Pretty cool. Pretty darn interesting, too. That’s how I’ve collected over 6000 questions. How are you turning ideas into questions and questions into catapults?

1. Solicit mental growth. Make this your new goal. Define it however you like. Just make sure whatever you do; you enlarge people’s thinking. Whom are you growing?

2. Be more challenging. Ask questions like: Is that always the case? So what? What stops you? What would happen if you didn’t? What’s your proof? Break people’s patterns. Make them stop, think and say, ‘Wow…’ How many questions did you ask yesterday?

3. Have a killer vocabulary. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to use fancy words. Just strong words. Powerful words. Well-timed words. Unexpected words. Perfect words. Does your language challenge people?

4. Send people off to the races. Don’t just give people ONE idea. Give them forty. Expand the possibilities. Give them so much good stuff that they take out a piece of paper and ask you to repeat things. Are you conversations so valuable that people ask you what your brain-picking fee is?

5. Set a reading plan. Buy all the books you’ve been telling yourself you were going to buy. Create a visible cue in your office that forces you to pass by your stack everyday. Set a goal to read at least two books a week. What did you read today?

6. Study creativity daily. However many books you read each week, make sure at least one of them is about creativity or thinking. This will keep your brain fresh, motivate your melon and keep the steady stream of ideas flowing. Start with authors like Edward DeBono, Roger Von Oech and Julia Cameron. How did you make your brain more valuable today?

7. Set a writing plan. I challenge you to spend fifteen minutes a day on your writing. Journaling, blogging, morning pages, whatever. Fifteen minutes a day is a mere 0.09% of your entire week. THAT’S LESS THAN ONE PERCENT OF YOUR WAKING HOURS. If you can’t do that, perhaps you should stop reading my blog and go read Tim Ferris’s blog. What did you write today?

8. Wake people up. Sometimes people need a good punch in the face. Not literally, of course. (Unless you’re talking about Matt Lauer.) Instead, seek to open the eyes and expand the horizons of the people you serve. Be their alarm clock. How are people changed after having a conversation with you?

9. Offer intentionally contraries. Even if you agree with someone, play devil’s advocate. Ask opposite questions. Make them consider all sides of the issue. Do you throw enough curveballs?

10. Call to Action. At the end of every blog post, article, podcast, video, speech, teleseminar (or any other published work), always present a Call to Action. Make people think. Make people act. Make people email you with their answers to your tricky question. What response mechanism are you using?