1. Look first at what you’re not facing.. “When our lives are not working, there is always at least one thing we’re not facing,” wrote Gay Hendricks in Conscious Living, “and looking away from what you need to face burns more energy than actually facing it.”
Ultimately, evading responsibility means claiming victimhood. A healthier perspective is to step back from your current problem, turn toward what needs to be faced and ask:
• What have I done to cause this to happen?
• How have I arranged it so I’m having this experience?
• And what is it about me (or in me) that has invited or attracted this into my life?
Now, this process DOES require that you open up to genuine wonder with an attitude of curiosity, not conviction. But that’s exactly why it works: Because questions are medicine. And when you learn to stop being right and start being honest, your world changes forever.
Take responsibility for the pain you’ve created in yourself. Face it, befriend it, and then find out where you can learn from it. As my yoga teacher reminds us, “The only way out is through.” Are you willing to ride a wave of painful truth to reach a larger version of yourself?
2. Don’t consume all your energy trying to change the unchangeable. First, honestly assess what contains the capacity to be changed. Next, embrace those things as they are. Then, consciously choose to mount an influence campaign. Finally, be patient. Stick it out. Do the best you can.
And if nothing changes after a while, maybe you were wrong. Maybe it’s an unchangeable entity. And that’s OK. As long as you deliberately step away from your misguided efforts in the light of awareness, you’ll be fine. Remember: Any number multiplied by zero is still zero – no matter how big that number is. What are you wasting your time trying to change?
3. Screw the masses. Don’t allow the world to superimpose its prefabricated definition of who you should be. Life’s too short to live other people’s ideas about who you are. Instead, find yourself at the deepest possible level. Listen to the ground of being and decide in the solitude of your own consciousness who and what you already are.
Find the places you are operating from a limited view of yourself. If you truly want to liberate unsuspected energies, let your heart ask the questions and your life will provide the answers. You will show the world what you can be at your best. Are you opening yourself to discovering who you are?
4. Pinpoint (and eventually eliminate) the elements of your anti-risk repertoire. For example: Stop making a list of – and justifications FOR – all the reasons why you should avoid taking the plunge. Stop rationalizing your way out of risk. Stop talking yourself out of things that you know you need to do. And stop the mindless meandering to avoid risk. Learn to move forward despite shakiness. What limiting assumptions drive your behavior?
5. Be unwaveringly vigilant of the company you keep. Respectfully and resiliently silence the negative voices that attempt to infiltrate your positive reality. Don’t get sucked into the vortex of petty mindsets. Become a public spokesperson for your values by personally amputating anyone who doesn’t believe in or support you. Life’s also too short to hang around people who don’t challenge and inspire you. Are you still wasting time on relationships you’ve outgrown?
6. Create a mental picture of the life you want to live. Remind yourself of your awesomeness, return to your unique flavor and return to the roots of your being. . Soar past the ghost of who you were and give yourself permission to step into the future and become the best and highest version of yourself instead. Are you being held back the by the same thing that held you back last year?
7. Become a great chooser. Life presents us with the same choices, over and over again. And it will continue to do so until you make the right one. Just remember: Moments of choice reveal our personalities. “You are what you eat”? More like, “You are what you choose.” What would it look like to be “at full choice” in your life?
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That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
Never the same speech twice.
Always about approachability.
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