1.     You can’t win without taking a punch.

2.     You can’t control a population of creatives.

3.     You can’t control where your ideas come from.

4.     You can’t cook a pizza for a shorter time at a higher temperature.

5.     You can’t count on maybe.

6.     You can’t delegate the quality of a relationship.

7.     You can’t dry hump your way to success.

8.     You can’t edit blood.

9.     You can’t experience it if you’re too busy trying to frame it.

10.  You can’t find your voice unless you use it.

11.  You can’t fix bad in post.

12.  You can’t go through your life only making good decisions.

13.  You can’t just expand – you’ve got to make space.

14.  You can’t keep running back home to your parents.

15.  You can’t keep secrets from your body.

16.  You can’t look too slick if you’re asking people for money.

17.  You can’t make a name for yourself unless you also help others make a name for themselves.

18.  You can’t make another person happy if they’ve already made the decision NOT to be happy.

19.  You can’t manage everyone the same.

20.  You can’t punish your partner without punishing yourself.

21.  You can’t rationalize away reality.

22.  You can’t save anybody.

23.  You can’t stop the clock but at least you can still be more mindful of the numbers.

24.  You can’t take credit for people enabling you.

25.  You can’t think your way into understanding.

26.  You can’t un-say something.

27.  You can’t see what you’ve got, only what you’ve lost.

28.  You can’t “use humor” like you “use hair gel.”

29.  You can’t afford to be invisible.

30.  You can’t afford to be one dimensional.

31.  You can’t argue against a completely transformed life.

32.  You can’t avoid the water but you can decide how deep you want to swim.

33.  You can’t avoid what you’re becoming.

34.  You can’t become too good at not dealing with the truth.

35.  You can’t bother people into buying from you.

 

1. Simple: He stopped offering expertise and information and started delivering REAL insight.
2. Simple: I carved out for myself a commanding position, and that brought business to ME.
3. Simple: I decided to become more aware of what I valued.
4. Simple: I just did the one thing that I knew I could do better than anyone in the world: Be myself.
5. Simple: I just made sure people like themselves when they were with me.
6. Simple: I just rejected the very notion of limits.
7. Simple: I just studied the anatomy of other people’s talent.
8. Simple: I only make choices that add wood to my internal fire.

9. Simple: I stopped asking, ‘Who’s going to let me?’ and started asking, ‘Who’s gonna stop me?’
10. Simple: I treat myself like a lab rat and treated my life like an ongoing experiment.
11. Simple: Just be in a lot of places.
12. Simple: Just become the exception to as many rules as you can.
13. Simple: Just find out where the rock created the ripple and then throw more rocks.
14. Simple: Just get up an hour earlier.
15. Simple: Just live in a way that makes rumors about you hard to swallow.
16. Simple: Just live in a way that prevents the need to regret things.
17. Simple: Just take what’s wrong with the world and convert it into art.

18. Easy: I became someone people considered to be ‘a good person to know’.
19. Easy: I built my brand using imagination, not millions.
20. Easy: I decided to live vicariously through yourself.
21. Easy: I funneled the world into my work.
22. Easy: I just found out things there was no possibly way I could have known.
23. Easy: I just learned what they treasured and watered their success seeds.
24. Easy: I just made a conscious decision about how I wanted to leave people.
25. Easy: I just made career planning a daily activity.
26. Easy: I just started looking for cash everywhere.
27. Easy: I made people want come back just to see what I’ve been up to.
28. Easy: Just be awesome.
29. Easy: Just turn your life into one BIG, fat, juicy hypothesis that constantly gets proven right AND wrong.

1. Ask how you can turn this into an income stream. Your brain. Your ideas. Your skills. Your passions. Look around to see if (and how) other people have monetized similar things. What aren’t you monetizing yet?
STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Monetize more things. Monetize your mind. Monetize your mission. Monetize your ideas.

2. Be on a constant search for new ideas. They’re everywhere, as long as you (1) Actively seek them out, (2) Listen closely, (3) Learn to freeze situations, (4) Look for parallels, and (5) Write them down. And probably the best source of these new ideas is your existing customers. When asked the right question in a respectful, curious way, the innovations your customers initiate will blow your hair back. For example, ask your customers, ‘What would you LOVE to have from us next?’ But only ask if you’re willing listen. Why are you waiting to be inspired?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Inspiration is available. Inspiration is free. Inspiration is lightning.

3. Be on a quest to constantly impress, challenge and surprise yourself. Like Bob Taylor, CEO of Taylor guitars. He’s spent the last 35 years building the best acoustic guitar company in the world. As such, he’s a guy who doesn’t need to work another day for the rest of his life. And yet, he still goes on monthly scuba expeditions in Brazil and Madagascar just to discover the world’s most rare and beautiful woods for his next line of guitars. What are you a crusader of?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Be absurdly committed. Be after stamina. Be always experimenting. Be considered crazy. Be ever vigilant. Be intensely curious. Be totally irrational.

4. Bring in work that improves your skills and keeps you competitive. Take the challenge. Take the plunge. Take on new clients that make you work harder than ever before.

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Burn your television. Start reading more.

5. Catch yourself growing. And when you do, write it down. Like that collection of hash marks on the doorframe of your parent’s house indicating your increasing height patterns as a kid. That’s how meticulous you need to be about your own growth. Are you spying on yourself?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Grow in wisdom. Grow your complexity. Grow slowly, daily.

6. Change the way you’re currently doing this in order to affect more people and in less time. Noticed a pattern yet? If not, let me spell it out for you: C-H-A-N-G-E. Kind of an important word when it comes to evolving your business. Where are you stuck?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Stir the pot.

7. Choose what new worlds you want to conquer. I know you. There will be more. There always is. That’s why we’re entrepreneurs. That’s what we do. Like the musician who spends ten years mastering guitar; then up and decides to take up banjo and mandolin. There will be more. The question is: More of WHAT?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Conquer new worlds. Own new markets. Become known elsewhere. Nobody’s stopping you.

8. Create a culture of growth expectance. Even if your company only has seventeen people. Even if your company only has two people. Expect yourself to grow. Expect others to grow. Expect your company to grow. Whom are you challenging to grow?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Swim or die.

9. Create a filter that evaluates the asset value of a potential new opportunity. Learn how you make decisions. Physically write out a list of questions to ask yourself. Create a governing document that serve as a guidance system for daily decision-making. Here. Check out these examples from my Opportunity Filter: ‘Will this choice add to my life force or rob me of my energy?’ ‘How would the person I’m trying to become do what I’m about to do?’ and ‘Is this an opportunity, or an opportunity to be used?’ Top Ten Coolest Exercises you’ll ever do in your life. Guaranteed. How do you make decisions?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: W.W.I.D – What would I do?

10. Creatively combine what you already have to make new things. Decide what new thing you want to will into existence. Then, decide how you want to it grow: Slowly? Quickly? Broadly? Stratospherically? When was the last time you couldn’t sleep because you were too excited about an idea?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Creativity is combining.

11. Decide at what point you are no longer making a living and, instead, building your business. No rush. It might take five or ten years to get to this point. Just keep in mind that the secret is growth. The secret is working ON your business, not just IN your business. The secret is creating scalable and saleable models that don’t always result in you working 90 hours a week. What are you building?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Diversity is equity.

12. Decide if you should be charging for this. Although I don’t know what your specific situation is, my guess is going to be, ‘Yes, you should be charging for this.’ Here’s why: (1) You’re worth it, (2) You need money and (3) When people don’t pay you, people don’t hear you. Now all you have to do is decide how much. What (aren’t) you charging for that you probably should be?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Sell price before value.

13. Decide what has to die before you can move to something new. Maybe it’s something inside you. Maybe it’s your website. Maybe it’s your brand identity. Maybe it’s your good-for-nothing business partner who never really contributed anything in the first place, but you were too stubborn to fire. Killed anything lately?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Must. Kill. Something.

14. Decide what kinds of clients – and what kind of work – you would like to have in three years. My friend David Newman of Do It! Marketing has a fantastic philosophy on this issue: ‘Do work you love with those you love and for those you love.’ Is your work an extension and expression of your love?

THREE WORDS OF ADVICE: Are you in love with this?

15. Discover which needs of yours are currently unsatisfied. What you have to do or else you won’t be able to sleep that night. What your non-negotiables are. What you must do, or you shall die. Those are your deepest entrepreneurial yearnings. And they MUST be heeded and given a helping hand. If not, what’s the point? Instead of asking WHO are you, how about: WHY are you?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Validate your existence.

16. Do not let this day pass without personal growth. That’s easy. Just ask yourself before you go to bed, ‘How did I grow today?’ And then, here’s the secret: Write it down. I’m serious. Keep a Growth Journal by your bed and spend five minutes before going to bed filling it out. Then, at the end of every month, go over your list. Then, at the end of every year, rewrite your list. That’s 365 moments of personal growth. Wow! You could write a book. How did you grow yesterday?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Practice mattering daily. Say affirmations daily. Doodle deliriously daily.

17. Duplicate YOU. Forget the sheep; I’m an advocate for HUMAN cloning. Especially for entrepreneurs, who can do so through teaching others. I suggest giving your fans a portable, junior, take-home, or alternate version of you. Now, sure. That might mean giving up (some) control in exchange for being able to grow and expand more quickly. And as entrepreneurs, this is one of the hardest things in the world. Because we’re all a bunch of control freaks who HAVE to do everything themselves. Is there anybody else who could deliver your information?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Blogging works brilliantly. Video work awesomely. Seminars work fantastically. Whitepapers work perfectly.

18. Embrace change and actually do something innovative. First, by creating a capacity for innovation. Second, by re-educating your subconscious, remaking your brain and resisting institutional inertia. And third, by remembering that flawless execution doesn’t exist. Make mistakes, make them early and make them quick. Then keep moving. What is the opportunity for growth is in this loss?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Boost innovation literacy. Personally symbolize innovativeness. Marketplaces will notice.

19. Engage in assignments, projects or clients that ENABLE you. To command higher fees than before. To learn new skills. To leverage more than in the past. To expose you to an important future opportunity. To increase (not just sustain) an existing relationship. To do future work with the same organization. To lead you into a new industry. To grow in new directions. To work with new, cool clients that represent long-term business potential. What is your current work enabling you to do and be?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Enable gentle revolutions. Enable shared power. Enable the process. Enable yourself daily.

20. Engage in regular, private time with a coach or consultant. Ideally, someone who has (actually) DONE something and (actually) grown in the way you hope to grow. Not someone who’s listened to a bunch of Nightingale Connant audiotapes and (actually) thinks that makes them some kind of expert. SO annoying. Look. Expertise comes from DOING. Find someone who’s DONE stuff. Who’s helping you evolve toward your true self?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Action changes everything. Action conquers fear. Action develops courage. Action solidifies credibility. Action builds confidence. Action strengthens reputation.

21. Exert your will for change. Start by noting where growth can occur. Then, manufacture helpful opportunities by playing in a manner that creates growth, no matter what the score is. If you’re not growing like you used to be, how can your business itself be altered?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Want to evolve. Want to grow.

22. Evaluate your value adding ability. Ask questions like: ‘What personal skills have I not tapped into yet to add value to my customers?’ ‘What personal skills have I not tapped into yet to build my business?’ ‘What products and services are my clients asking for that I don’t currently provide?’ The answers to these questions will help you conquer new environments, have new experiences and take your customers to new places. So, ask and listen. Listen to how your body responds. Because it will never lie to you. How many new skills have you recently become known for?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: You are an adding-value machine.

23. Find out if anybody else is doing this right now. If not, that might be a great reason to plunge forward. That way you can be the first. The Only. The One. The Guy. And the best part is, if you do it first, you get to name it. Then: When you name something, you gain power over that something. And you can do something about that something. And you can talk interact with that something. And you can begin exploration and working with that something. And eventually, you can get people to start talking about that something. If you do this, will you become the best?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Origin, not echo.

24. Grow beyond culture-imposed limitations. It’s a big hurdle to get over. But once you do, once you challenge yourself to pattern your life in ways that fly in the face of conventional wisdom, the world will open up to you. Whom are you done listening to?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Fight The Power. Biography isn’t destiny. Abandon popular delusions. Banish childhood labels. Break the veil. Continue to evolve. Deprogram your mind. Detoxify your thinking. Disconnect all shackles. Drop your training. Dismantle old assumptions.

25. Honestly assess in what ways you are currently obsolete. Still using a landline? Still advertising in The Yellow Pages? Still using AOL for your email account? Still using a PC? Still listening to a CD player? Still using that Glamour Shots picture you got taken 1993 as your professional headshot? Zoinks. What are you thinking? It’s 2009. Get with the program. What year are you still trapped in?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Upgrade your life. Upgrade your technology. Upgrade your approach. Upgrade your style. Upgrade your attitude.

26. Honestly confront the ideas you’re in love with that are preventing you from seeing clearly. I know you love your new company name and tagline. I know it’s cute and funny and makes your husband happy. But it doesn’t matter what YOU like; it matters what CUSTOMERS remember. Premature cognitive commitment isn’t only dangerous; it’s also expensive. What ideas are you dangerously in love with?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Love isn’t enough. Ideas aren’t enough. Preference isn’t enough.

27. Learn from the unrelated best. As a writer, speaker and consultant, I’m always on the lookout. Especially for entrepreneurial creativity in industries completely unrelated to my own. This is fantastic resource for evolving your business, as long as you’re willing to keep an open mind. For example, let’s take gambling and pornography. Sure, they’re controversial topics. And don’t worry; I’m not about to start a discussion on either one. Instead, let me just share two staggering statistics: (1) According to a 2007 study published in Gambling Magazine by Online Gambling Research and Markets Group, the online gambling industry will reach $125 billion by 2015. And (2), According to the World Pornography Review from Family Safe Media, 2006 worldwide revenues in that industry were just over 97 billion. So, while I’m NOT advocating online gambling and pornography one way or the other, I do think it’s blindingly obvious that those two industries clearly know what they’re doing. Maybe you could learn a thing or two. Besides, you could write it off as ‘research.’ ? What unrelated industries are you open enough to learn from?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Porn makes money. Gambling makes money. Ever wondered why?

28. Leverage this crisis into an opportunity to innovate. Start by imagining what business you COULD be in. And what new category your expertise COULD create. Then forecast the new markets you COULD be entering. And how much you COULD be charging. What’s your sequel?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Discover Blue Oceans. Swim uncontested waters. Be The Only.

29. Leverage your frustration in this situation as motivation to grow into more of the person you’ve always wanted to be. Anger is pointless. All it does is induce stress, poison relationships and keep Reality TV on the air. Learn to let things go quicker and more frequently. Instead, attend your energies elsewhere. Turn frustration into growth. As the Optimist International Credo states: ‘Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.’ How much longer can you put off being who you really want to be?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Anger disturbs action. Channel it elsewhere.

30. Make entrepreneurial mix tapes. Target a dozen or so (successful) companies, products, people or ideas that you think are cool. Next, pluck from each one a few attributes that stand out. Then, add in your own attributes and ideas to round out the idea. Finally, create a brand-spanking new idea. Something that doesn’t exist anywhere else. Something that people can’t really ‘define’ because it’s a composite of awesomeness that combines your unique idea with existing attributes of other people’s ideas. Think: ‘Now That’s What I Call Music’ compilation albums. Whom are you plucking from?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Emulate, don’t imitate.

31. Make sure that everything you do is leading to something else you do. Edward DeBono, The Grandfather of Creativity, defined this as ‘movement value.’ And it’s the single greatest indicator of the leveragability of your opportunities. The ability to move from one idea to another. Now that I have this, what else does this make possible?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Creativity isn’t optional. Creativity is required. Creativity never stops. Creativity requires activity. Creativity requires faith. Creativity requires intimacy. Creativity requires questioning.

32. Note which old categories trap you. Physically write them out. Then ask yourself questions like: ‘What’s no longer working?’ ‘Is there a better, easier, cheaper and smarter way to do this?’ ‘Where did this category come from in the first place?’ Remember: Growth isn’t optional. What are you unwilling to change that prevents your business form evolving successfully?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Discard outmoded thinking.

33. Pick a symbol you need to surround yourself with as a reminder of the new image, values and style you are going to operate out of. When CEO Michael Dell learned that 54% of his employees perceived him as being unapproachable and, as such, would change jobs if they were offered a better position, here’s what he did. First, he made a video apology and sent it to every employee. More importantly, he kept a Curious George doll on his desk as a reminder to practice greater curiosity as a leader. What’s your reminder?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Remind your mind. Do it visually. Watch yourself evolve.

34. Pick the most important things for you to work on that will grow your business the fastest. I will now summarize every time management book and seminar with one question. This is the only question you ever need to ask yourself: ‘Is what I’m doing right now consistent with my #1 goal?’ If it’s not, pitch it. If it is, keep going. Simple as that. You’re welcome. How are you optimizing your time?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Time is valuable. Time is BILLABLE.

35. Pick the values do you need to throw out to make room for growth. Ouch. Was that the sound of a growing pain in your chest? Good. Because that’s all part of the adventure: An honest confrontation of which values are no longer applicable or profitable. What do you need to unlearn?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Eliminate old answer. Rewrite your scripts. Escape narrow definitions. Screw the neighbors. Screw the competition. Screw the reviews. Think new thoughts. Turn off traditions. Undo rote behaviors. Unzip your ego.

36. Pinpoint the excuses that are preventing you from getting started. Examples include, but are not limited to: ‘I don’t have the money,’ ‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ ‘I’m too young’ and ‘But I can’t just…’ If that’s the case, my question is: What’s your point? Do you think Mark Zuckerberg made those excuses when he created Facebook as a junior in college? Nope. He remembered the credo: Just go. Change the rules so you can win at your own game. Why are you still waiting for permission to be remarkable?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Jettison accepted limits. Recast your assumptions. Leave familiar territory. Comfort is overrated.

37. Predict when your business design will be obsolete. Face it: In ten years, everything will be different. There’ll be another Twitter, another Ipod and another Priius. There’ll be another Amazon, another YouTube and another Ebay. All of which will dramatically affect your business design. Will you be ready?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Evolve your business. Evolve your life. Evolve your career.

38. Prepare yourself to endure the failure that growth requires. Contrary to popular conditioning, failure IS an option – not learning from that failure isn’t. So, remind yourself that it wasn’t YOU who failed, necessarily. It was something in your strategy failed. That’s the attitude that allows you to fail your way to success. Are you making new mistakes or repeat mistakes?

THREE WORDS OF ADVICE: Failure develops elasticity. Failure is fertilizer. Failure is tuition. Failure isn’t final. Failures are blessings. Failures are deliverances.

39. Release your current knowledge to take in new information. It’s not just about learning; it’s about UN-learning. Taking out the (mental) trash. Making room for new ideas and insights that were previously uninvited into your fertile mind by that no-good-defensive-yella ego of yours. How much money are you losing by assuming you already known everything there is to know about your subject?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Release your learnings. Let newness enter.

40. Stay growth minded. Think how you can use this as a basis for growth. Think what you can you do differently TODAY to add new value to your business. Then, take specific, immediate action to ignite innovation. Where in your life are you rejecting growth?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Growth isn’t optional.

41. Stop typecasting yourself. You’re not a one trick pony. You’re not a one-product company. You’re not a one-idea entrepreneur. You’re not a one-book author. You’re not a one-anything anyone. You’re a lotta. A bunch. A crap ton. A fountain of possibility. Not a jack-of-all-trades. Just an evolving professional whose unique expertise slowly casts a wider net. Always out-doing and challenging yourself to break the veil of one-hit-wonderness for the sake of never going stale. So, remember what the master of evolution, George Carlin, used to say, ‘Continue to call on yourself a little more. And keep kicking people in the ass.’ What are you doing to prepare for the next phase?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Update your brand. Upgrade your expertise. Reinvent yourself regularly.

42. Uncover the mental obstacles that are preventing you from being an effective entrepreneur. Like your incessant need to be applauded. Like your gargantuan ego that won’t allow you to make public mistakes. Like your self-delusionional belief that you need to know what you’re doing to get started. Identify the behaviors are preventing you from making progress towards becoming the best version of yourself. And pinpoint the obstacles or threats that might prevent your vision from being fulfilled. In the past year, what choices and thoughts have renewed your entrepreneurial hope and energy?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Audit your Truth. Chart your weaknesses. Get over yourself. Articulate your fabulousness. Stay over yourself.

43. Use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve. Not to beat yourself up. Not to reinforce your negative self-image. Not to have something or someone to blame. Rather, as a vehicle for entrepreneurial realization. A kick in the ass that FORCES yo to s-t–r—e—-t—–c——h. At the same time, constantly monitor whether it will be a growth experience for you as a person, or merely more work. Is this an opportunity, or an opportunity to be used?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Don’t improve; evolve. Enable gentle revolutions. Then move quickly.

44. Use this to add more value to yourself. That’s the foundation of being teachable: Viewing everything and everyone as your mentor. Attending to all people and all situations as those from which you can learn and grow exponentially. Who’s teaching you?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Add compelling value. Add undisputed value. Add unmistakable value.

45. Use writing to exponentially increase growth in this experience. Writing is the basis of all wealth. For several reasons. First, writing is the great clarifier. Second, writing makes everything you do better and easier. Third, writing triples the learning of any experience, because if you don’t write it down, it never happened. What did you write today?

STICKY NOTE SUGGESTION: Writing changes everything. Writing ‘rights’ things. Writing brings clarity. Writing intensifies impact. Writing metabolizes life. Writing teaches everyone. Writing transforms pain. Writing untangles threads.

1. Toggle people’s brains. You do that with your questions. With your odd, unexpected juxtapositions of words. With your sentences and phrases that are so ‘out there’ that they take people with them. As Ned Flanders once said, ‘Well sir, as far as melon ballers go, that’s a noodle scratcher!’ Hopefully, your readers are thinking that same idea. That you’ve rocked their worlds. Turned their brains upside down. Stretched their minds like a bar of Laffy Taffy, never quite returning to their original size. It’s part of the job description. How are you toggling people?

2. Watch yourself write. Because you weren’t looking for the formula of how you writing the first time, you need to go back and figure out what you did. What your thought processes, questions and assumptions were. That way you can perfect your process it and repeat it. So, regularly back away from your creative journey and revisit the progression of your ideas. Here’s how: (1) TRACK the experiences or moments that inspired your original idea, (2) THINK about the questions you asked yourself, didn’t ask yourself or should have asked yourself during the writing process, (3) NOTE each moment of resistance, how it made you feel and what steps you took to overcome it, (4) REVISIT tangible records of the progression of your idea. Lay them all out in front of you and then travel back in time. See what comes up the second time. Perhaps a few new patterns will emerge. This process will teach you invaluable lessons about how you think, create and write. Are you stepping back from what you do to study what you do?

3. Write because you can’t (not) write. Not because of the money. Not because of the fame. Not because chicks dig writers. And not because you want to ‘have written.’ Write because you have something that needs to be said. Write because there is some lie you want to expose. Write because there is something you’ve gone through that people need to hear about and learn from. What must you write about or you shall die?

4. Write things that make no sense, then improve them. Remember: There will be more. Who cares if your first draft is completely wonky? What matters is that you write that ‘one true thing’ down the moment it comes up. What matters is that you honor whatever surfaces. And what matters is that you trust your inner resources, having faith that the idea will make sense when you’re ready to learn it. Are you willing to write gibberish now for jackpots later?

5. Write what you know about, run into, have a passion for and obsess over. Do this, and I promise you two things: (1) You will never run out of material, (2) Writing will be easy. Otherwise your work is going to be boring to write and laborious to read. Zoinks! What percentage of your writing is infused with your passion?

6. Writer’s Block is a lie. Doesn’t exist. It’s nothing by comfy little excuse touted by undisciplined, mediocre writers who sit around waiting for inspiration to strike. Here’s the reality: Writing is an extension of thinking. So, next time you experience ‘Writer’s Block,’ recognize that what you’re really experiencing is ‘Thinker’s Block.’ Lesson learned: If you want to write more, think more. If you want to write better, think better. People who bitch about Writer’s Block are either: (1) lazy, (2) boring, (3) stupid, or (4) terrible listeners. Remember: Creativity is nothing but active listening. If you can’t find anything to write about, you’re not a writer. Period. What did you write today?

7. Writing is a little like eating. During my brother’s wedding, my parents’ friend Ed told me, ‘Scott, eventually you get to a point when it’s not about the food, but who’s at the table.’ Great point. And similarly, the more you learn to trust your inner voice, you care less about grammar, punctuation and structure, and the more you care about being courageous enough slice open a vein and bleed your truth all over the page. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if your writing is good – it matters if your writing is your truth. It doesn’t matter if your writing is popular – it matters if your writing disturbs people into action. Look, you’re not going to win a Pulitzer. Let go of the need to be ‘good at writing.’ Instead, invest your time and energy in making your pen a lightning rod for channeling honesty. People will notice. Does your writing have to be good?

8. Writing is like camping. Because you never put your ideas back the same way you found them. Your goal is to train yourself to pick up a thought or idea and then play with it until it’s bigger, better, sharper, and more useful. How much better will the literary campsite be when you’re done with it?

9. Writing makes everything you do BETTER and EASIER. Go back and read that sentence four more times. It changed my life, it changed my clients’ lives, and it will change your life, as long as you’re willing to accept it. Because that’s not an opinion. That is a truth. Because writing helps you make sense of the changes in your life. Writing helps people adopt a piece of you into their world. With the exception of Bikram Yoga, I can’t think of anything healthier in the world that writing. What does writing do for you?

10. Writing stuff down isn’t enough. You know my mantra: ‘If you don’t write it down, it never happened.’ And that may be true. And writing (still) may be the basis of all wealth. But there’s more to it than that. Writing is about three things: Content Generation, Content Management and Content Delivery. And if you don’t have a customized system for plucking, organizing and deploying your ideas, you lose. As George Carlin – the master of Content Management – once said, ‘Good ideas don’t mean anything if you can’t find them again.’ Remember: Your brain is a moron. Do you have a paper memory?

11. Yes, it IS possible to have too many ideas. Ironically, this becomes a barrier to creativity because eventually, you won’t be able to keep anything in your head straight. Sure, resisting the urge to evaluate, appraise and assign value to every idea is important during the initial creative process. In the beginning stages, the goal is to prevent Premature Cognitive Commitment, thus keeping your options open. Eventually, however, there comes a point in the idea process where you’ve got to stop creating and start judging. Do you have too many ideas?

12. Your everyday life is what people relate to. Finally, the more specific you are, the more relatable you are. Take Dave Berry, for example. Back in his heyday of writing a syndicated humor column, his funniest pieces were the ones about mundane events like his kids, his house and his hometown. Here’s a one-liner I just randomly Googled that proves this point: ‘My teenage son, Rob, says the only time he ever wraps a gift is, quote, ‘if it’s such a poor gift that I don’t want to be there when the person opens it.’’ Ha! Love it. And nobody else in the world could be so funny talking about something so boring. Think it’s a coincidence Dave won a Pulitzer? Think it’s a coincidence Dave wrote twenty bestsellers? Think it’s a coincidence Dave gets $50,000 per keynote speech? Nope. How will you leverage the ordinary in your writing to make history?

Think of another person’s receptivity as being on a continuum.

And the challenge is twofold: You need to lessen the intensity of low receptivity AND raise the mark on that continuum. Let’s explore a list of strategies for doing so:

1. Understand the influences. In the book Gentle Persuasion, author Dr. Joe Aldrich shares a helpful list of factors that influence a person’s receptivity. Let’s take a look:

o The existing loyalties of this person.
o The transitions facing the individual.
o The condition of the soil of this person’s soul.
o The nature and stability of this person’s relationships.
o The previous attempts to approach or invite this person.
o The caricatures that distort someone’s grasp of something.
o The nature and frequency of past contacts with this person.
o The circumstances under which someone learned something.
o The people that person has known and their influence upon him.
o This degree of satisfaction or lack thereof with this person’s life.
o The spot this person sits on the continuum between opposition and acceptance of something.

So, whomever your current interpersonal situation involves – customers, employees, colleagues – I challenge you to plug those people into these factors. Even if you have to map out a few of the answers, this exercise might help clarify the true nature of their reluctance.

Then, once you’ve considered these factors, here’s the next challenge:

First, recognize and respond to the uniqueness of each individual. Not ‘typing.’ Not ‘reading.’ Attending to. After all, ‘what you see when you see people’ has a powerful affect in how you approach them. And you need to make an effort to comprehend the other person’s view.

Secondly, reprogram this person’s experience bank with positive examples that prove old assumptions wrong. This helps evolve his attitude toward a more favorable state. Our next few examples will explore several strategies for handling these two challenges.

REMEMBER: You’ve got to be willing to do the research. To uncover the true nature of someone’s reluctance to be open to your ideas. Do you understand the influences on this person’s receptivity? What would you have to know about this person to approach her effectively? And what barriers to communicating freely and openly exist between you?

2. Listen first. Because approachability and receptivity are functions of reciprocity, the smartest step you can take is to actually listen, yourself. Sure, it’s a risk. Sure, it requires you to become vulnerable. But that’s part of the job description: Leaders go first. They ante up.

The challenge is to listen attentively, consider what is said and respond constructively and candidly. After all, approachability is much more that telling employees you have an Open Door Policy. Because they don’t care if you door is open – they care if your heart is open. And if your mind and EARS are open.

REMEMBER: Listening first increases receptivity because the other person is more likely to listen to you when he knows you’re listening to him. Are you monopolizing the listening or the talking? When was the last time somebody complimented your listening skills? And what would happen to your career if you became known as the best listener in your organization?

3. Preserve people’s self-esteem. The need to feel accepted is a driving force of human action. Your goal is to let people know that their thinking matters to you. To let them know you need them. To demonstrate that they’ve helped or inspired you. And to offer your attention TO and acknowledgment OF their contributions to your worldview.

What’s more, low receptivity is partly caused by unfulfilled personal needs. And when you’re not making a concerted effort to preserve people’s self-esteem, that gap will compete with you for their mind’s attention. Concentration on any other topic will become difficult. So, your challenge is to gratify people’s esteem need by making them feel essential, making them feel heard and making them feel like they contributed and participated in the decision making process.

Each of these practices can be accomplished in two words: ‘Take notes.’

Taking notes is proof. Taking notes keeps you mindful in the conversation. Taking notes honors someone’s thoughts. Taking notes is respectful. Taking notes increases someone’s self-esteem. Especially when you email them a copy of your notes five minutes after the conversation. By communicating that his ideas are important enough to write down, you raise receptivity.

REMEMBER: Raising receptivity requires clearing the other person’s mind so she is wiling to concentrate on the right things. How are you appealing to this person’s highest needs? What is the self-interest in this situation? And how receptive are YOU when people preserve YOUR self-esteem?

4. Lower emotional reactivity. Emotions block progress by reducing receptivity and impairing thought. In fact, the word ‘emotion’ comes from the Latin emotere, which means, ‘to disturb.’

So, be sensitive to signs of readiness and receptivity. If someone is highly emotional, that’s probably the WORST time to approach her with a concern, idea or assignment. Instead, wait it out. Let people breathe. Give them space to feel. Try asking, ‘When would be a good time to talk to you about something that’s important to me?’

REMEMEBR: Your goal is to encourage the full expression of emotions, dance in the moment and honor whatever surfaces. Is this the best possible time to approach this person with this idea? What emotions might block their receptivity? And are you giving people enough space to think, feel and BE?

5. Dig deep. Without probing unnecessarily, explore the other person’s mind. Draw him into the interaction. Now, don’t contaminate your probes by underscoring them with your own agenda and ideas. Your lack of objectivity will hinder their receptivity. Also, be careful not editorialize. Rewording what you interpreted the other person as saying might make your summary sound manipulative.

Further, as you’re probing, remember to delete the word ‘why’ from your vocabulary. Questions that begin with the word ‘why’ are dangerous because:

o WHY = Defensiveness.
o WHY = Seen as criticism.
o WHY = Internalized as a personal attack.
o WHY = Easily countered with ‘because.’
o WHY = Endless justifications and explanations.
o WHY = Answers that can only guess about the past.

Instead, use questions that begin with ‘What,’ ‘When’ or ‘How.’ This uncovers information, specification and motivation; instead of producing generalizations, rationalizations, justifications. That should help you dig down deep.

REMEMBER: Probing isn’t interrogating. It’s about discovery and honest curiosity about getting to the truth together. What words govern your questions? Are you (actually) asking a question, or just veiling a threat? And are you (actually) asking a question, or sneakily proselytizing your opinion?

6. Publicly celebrate mistakes. People are receptive to someone who has walked the walk, gotten lost a few times and found a way out. People are also receptive to those who are willing to speak of their own screw-ups. Why? Because you’ve PROVEN to others that you support failure. See, it is only when you’re willing to surrender to your own humanity that people trust you more. And the cool part is, the more you practice this, the less judgmental YOU become in the future when THEY screw up.

Try this: At your next sales or managers meeting, go around the room and require each person to (1) share a mistake they recently made, (2) offer three lessons they learned FROM that mistake, and (3) suggest the practical application of those lessons to the other people in the room. Then, later that week, create a hard copy of all the mistakes and lessons shared during the meeting. Staple a $20 bill to it and send it to everyone who attended. And what you do is, attach a sticky note that says, ‘Thanks for being human!’

REMEMBER: Act of humanity, honesty and vulnerability will draw out the other person. What’s more, you’ll raise receptivity, especially when it comes to welcoming performance feedback. When was the last time you rewarded someone for making a mistake? How are you branding your honesty? And how, specifically, are you integrating your humanity into your profession?

7. Receptivity is a function of relaxation. Ever met someone who came off as TOO friendly, TOO personal or TOO intense? Were you receptive to that person? Doubt it. After all, receptivity lowers when people become tense or suspicious about what’s coming up.

So, the secret is simple: Make communication a relaxing experience. A few ways to do so:

o Calm yourself down first. Before approaching (or being approached BY someone), try this. Treat yourself to five extra minutes – in your car, office, bathroom, wherever – for some deep breathing exercises. This lowers your blood pressure, decreases your heart rate and invites fresh oxygenated blood to circulate through your system. As a result, your posture, attitude and facial expression will emanate a relaxed, centered and approachable energy, this raising the receptivity of people in your presence.

o Give people space. Use pauses and silence strategically. These crucial moments give people time to learn, examine nuances and slow down. They also allow people listen to themselves, which, if they’re stress out, is exactly what they need.

REMEMBER: When you relax, they relax. And when they relax, their mind and body become more receptive to what you have to say. How are you making communication a relaxing experience? Who do you know that stresses you out just by looking at them? And how would your career be different if you became known as the most relaxed, calm employee at your company?

REMEMBER: You can’t make people listen to you.

You can only make an effort to raise their receptivity so your ideas have the highest probability of getting through and getting understood.

1. Every choice matters. Even the small ones. Especially the small ones. Because in life, that’s about all you can control: Your choices. Even when you make the choice NOT to decide. That’s still a choice, buster. Are you ‘at full choice’ in your life right now?

2. Every conversation matters. Encounters are deposits in people’s banks. Their buckets. Their emotional savings accounts. Seem trust and credibility aren’t just ‘given’ to you. It’s only after you’ve demonstrated a consistent pattern of regular deposits into people’s accounts that you EARN those things. Until then, you’re starting with a negative balance because: (1) Trust and loyalty are at an all time low, and (2) Fear and skepticism are at an all time high. How are your conversations making people feel essential?

3. Everybody’s somebody’s somebody. Which is why it’s just easier to be kind to everybody. Not necessarily NICE, but kind. And sure, you’re not always in the mood. But treating people like crap actually takes more work. How many people did you go out of your way to avoid last week?

4. Everybody’s watching. Watching for you to prove their assumptions right. Watching if your actions match your words. Watching if you are what Google says you are. So: You better know your stuff. You better be ready in AND out of season. And you better be consistent. Who’s watching you?

5. Everyday is gameday. The Big One. The Final Match. The Championship. The World Series. The Superbowl. The World Cup. Once a year? Once every four years? Hell no. Gameday is TODAY, and it’s being broadcast everywhere. So you better be on the ball, son. Will you be ready?

6. Everyone teaches you. Everyone influences you. Everyone is your mentor. Everyone is better than you at something. And if you disagree, perhaps you should reevaluate your answer to the following question. What do you see when you see people?

7. Everything communicates something. Because you can’t NOT communicate. Even when you try. ESPECIALLY when you try. And we’re not just talking about body language and vocal tone. We’re talking about that which is communicated by WHO YOU ARE. After observing your life, what do people assume you know?

8. Everything is practice. But only if your definition of the word, ‘practice’ evolves. If you’re focused on the process, not the product. If you’re focused on the journey, not the destination. If you’re focused deepening and enhancing, not achieving and bettering. Because you’re not striving for perfection. You’re not striving at all. You’re BEING. This present experience, IS practice. For its own sake. For the love of practice. What are you practicing?

9. Everything is prey. Ideas for your business. Content for your writing. Answers to your questions. It’s all fair game; as long as you freeze and experience it through the filter of your unique expertise. Your Theory of the Universe. What did you pluck today?

10. Everything is related. Think that chest cold had nothing to do with your stressful lifestyle? Guess again. Think that decline in sales had nothing to do with your girlfriend dumping with you in the parking lot of 7-11? Wrong-o, pal. And do you think that car accident had nothing to do with the fact that your mindfulness practice is about as still as Pujols bobble head doll? Look in the mirror. Because everything affects everything. What lies are your excuses guarding?

11. Everything takes longer. Deal with it. Stay impossibly patient. Don’t get seduced by the possibility of half-assing your project, or asking someone else to half-ass it for you. Ironically, that approach actually takes longer and costs more. Instead: Go all out. Go big. And be willing to wait. How patient are you willing to be?

12. Everything you do is a signal. About what you believe. About what you value. About who you are. About who you’re NOT. About how leave people. About how you imprint people. What signal are you leaving?

13. Everything’s a performance. Especially since you already learned that everybody’s watching. But don’t be scared off by this reality. You don’t need to put on an act. You simply need to become a master at method acting. Because the character you’re playing is YOU. Do you know your lines?

1. Start with yourself. Think back to the last time you returned from vacation and ten voicemails were waiting for you. QUESTION: Whom did you call back first? What made you want to – or not want to – call certain people back? And which of the ten voicemails did you delete within two seconds of the message starting? This baseline exercise is the perfect way to enter into the caller mindset. Plus it helps you pinpoint voicemail behaviors that turn even YOU off. What voicemails do it for you?

2. Punch employers in the face with your purpose. I can’t begin to count the number of voicemails I receive every week from complete strangers who leave nothing but their name and number. Tragically, that’s their entire message. Unbelievable. So, naturally, I delete their voicemails immediately.

For one simple reason: No call to action = No call back. Period. And frankly, I feel kind of bad doing so. And I’m sure I’ve missed out on connecting with some great people. But I’m a busy guy. And if callers aren’t respectful and intelligent enough to state their purpose within five seconds of leaving a message, they haven’t earned the right to be called back.

So, the secret for YOUR voicemails is to have a purpose (not an agenda, but a purpose) … and to punch employers in the face with that purpose gently and immediately. Otherwise people are going to think, ‘Next…!’ Are you demonstrating a valid reason for your persistence?

3. Appeal to their inherent helpful nature. ‘I need your help.’ Those four words are a simple, yet powerful motivator of human engagement and motivation. I use them every day right before I’m about to make ANY request, i.e., returning a shirt to Nordstrom’s, getting my iPhone fixed or calling tech support.

In my experience, you’re almost ALWAYS guaranteed better service if you frame your request in this way. In addition to appealing to a human being’s helpful side, these four words also work because they’re: (1) positive, (2) honor the person you’ve approached, and (3) demonstrate your humility and vulnerability. Kind of hard to reject someone like that!

Besides, what’s the other person gonna say? ‘You need MY help? Sorry pal. Ask someone who give a shit.’ Unless you live in Philly, doubtful. And I’m challenging you to use this phrase on the phone as often as possible. It works. Whom are you asking for help?

4. Help people maintain a sense of control. In the psychology manual, The Handbook of Competence and Motivation, the authors’ research proved on several occasions that human beings operate out of a model to feel autonomous and in control of their environment and actions.

Thus: The feeling of being in control is a basic human need. It’s right up there with ‘Feeling Accepted,’ ‘Feeling Secure’ and ‘Watching American Idol.’ So, your challenge is to leave a voicemail message that speaks to that need. For example, you could offer a few choices of good times to call you back.

Or give additional options for contacting you besides the phone, i.e., fax, email or text. Another approach is to say, ’I need your approval on something…’ or ‘I’ve got an awesome idea, and I wanted to get your permission before I made a move.’ This not only makes them feel in control, but also makes them feel essential. How can I appeal to this person’s need to feel in control of her own life?

5. Mix the medium. Not everyone prefers communicating over the phone. Especially people born after 1978. And since that Gen X/Y/Millennial population is slowly starting to saturate the workforce (and take over the world, I might add) it’s essential to be cognizant of the varying communication preferences of your customers.

So, at the end of your voicemail, remind potential employers that they can always reach you by email for a quicker response. This approach increases your accessibility and appeals to a wider audience – even older generations. What’s more, emailing is a low-pressure, non-threatening medium of communication that gives people more time to carefully craft their words. Try this approach and you’ll be amazed how many people will email back instead of calling back. How reachable are you?

6. Speak with Meaningful Concrete Immediacy (MCI). Here’s how: First, make sure your message appeals to the aforementioned self-interest of the caller (meaningful). That means no talking about you. That means no telling stories. Second, give people the meat (compactness).

That means no sixty-second voicemail dissertations. That means no incessant rambling about how crappy your cell phone reception is. And finally, be actionable (immediacy). That means reach through the phone line, grab them by the lapel, and tell them exactly what you want them to do. How much MCI do your voicemails contain?

7. Honesty gets called back. Make sure your voicemail message ACTUALLY has something to do with why you called. Give employers a valid reason for your persistence. Don’t leave some manipulative persuasion technique disguised as a voicemail that you learned from that outdated book on cold calling you bought at the YMCA book fair for fifty cents.

Otherwise customers will think your voicemail is just some cute trick to get them to call you back. Nobody like being bait and switched like that. ‘Press three to delete this message.’ Click. How many calls are you missing because you’re not branding your honesty?

1. Don’t wait until you fail to reflect on your experiences. That’s the equivalent of only practicing after you lose. Not smart. Reflect now; reflect always. Otherwise great lessons escape you. And sure, you don’t learn as much when everything goes great. But you can always examine ways to make it better by asking, ‘Looking back, what would I have done differently?’ Remember: Failure isn’t the only teacher. Reflect until resolution arises within you. Are you reflecting on all your experiences – wins AND losses – with deep democracy?

2. Hear your life speaking to you. How you hear your life is how you experience yourself. How do you experience yourself?

3. It’s not real TO you until it’s noticed BY you. Nothing is truly yours until you generate an awareness of it. That’s where understanding is born. The moment you make the choice to be a first-class noticer. And there’s a very cool, very obscure book called Playful Perception by Herbert Leff that will teach you how to excel at this practice. Most of the book takes you through 43 Awareness Plans that the author defines as ‘procedures or mental recipes for perceiving and thinking about the world around us.’ It’ll blow your mind. Are you ready to change your perception and experience of your world?

4. Learn to take full ownership of your experiences. Additionally, experiences aren’t truly yours until you’ve done these things: Think about them. Analyze them. Examine them. Google them. Question them. Write about them. Share them. Expand them. Understand them. That’s what happens after awareness: Contemplation. And as long as you watch the way you explain the event to yourself, nothing can stop you. Because listening to yourself talk is when the real learning begins. What do you do with what happens to you?

5. Let the best have a real chance at you. I probably should have mentioned this earlier: If you want to be an expert at learning from your experiences, you need to regularly open yourself to a world of new experiences to learn from! That means traveling. That means saying yes more. That means not sitting at home every night. That means practicing intentional discomfort and doing something you wouldn’t normally do. In short: Sticking yourself out there. That’s the only way to increase the probability of experiencing the best. When was the last time you did something for the first time?

6. Own up to YOUR role in the negative circumstances of your life. Honestly confront yourself by asking questions like, ‘What about me makes me do that?’ What was my contribution to the bad event I just experienced? And ‘What did I do, innately, that made me deserve or attract these things into my life?’ By taking responsibility for your experiences, you exponentially increase the learning from those experiences. After all, it’s hard to learn with your arms crossed. REAL learning takes place when we’re open, relaxed and curious. So remember: The sooner you own it; the sooner you can disown it. Are you willing to admit that you had EVERYTHING to do with what just happened to you?

7. Use your life as a practice field. Seek experiences that stimulate your core self. Seek experiences that improve, enlarge, inspire and challenge you. Then, search for meaning constantly and aggressively. And when it hits you, express and render your personal encounter with the world. Ideally, by making a list of lessons you learned. What experiences are vital to your development?